I'm Ready for November

Seems like October hates me.

Case in point -- I planted 26 tulip bulbs (good luck little ladies, see you in the spring) and now I can't hold up my head.  Apparently, digging on my knees in rocky soil strained my trapezius muscle.  Hurts to hold up my head.  Hurt to sleep as it kept spasming.  

Seriously, October.  What did I do to you?

I keep adding to my "problem" list.

Peloton ride is in jeopardy this morning.  Not sure if I can muster it.  Good news is I had a hard run yesterday so a rest day isn't horrible.  I'll try a warmup and see how it feels and go from there.

I'm on a mission to clean up my eating squeaky clean for a minute to see if I can get back to feeling myself.  Trip to Whole Foods today for all the interesting things.  This is assuming I can drive.  I wish I had a neck brace.  I was hoping overnight did it some good, but I think today will be worse before it starts to relax again.

Hopefully, the tulips are worth it ;)

That's all from here.  I need to support my head with my hand again.  I feel very old today lol.  Later gators.

Coaching and Sleep

I finally got more sleep last night and I needed it.  I had a hormone headache all day and felt crappy all evening (actually wondered if I was getting sick).  I woke up at 1 o'clock per usual lately (Monti wanted a potty break too) and felt back to sleep until ... 7 O'CLOCK (!!)  I feel better this morning and I hope it lasts.

Also, the scary book is feeling less scary (but still good).  The focus is now on the investigation and less on the actual scary moments as they are happening.  I hope it stays this way so I can turn off the lights LOL.

October is proving to be my most challenging month in a long time.  I believe it's from steering too far from what works for me.  I hope a few days of good stuff starts things in the right direction.

Now for life coaching ...

I signed up.  It's a 7 month (26 week, but usually there ends up being a skip week here and there because of scheduling).  Once a week 45 minute zoom call, daily written interaction M-F (if I want).  Telling hubby was hard -- this is EXPENSIVE, but after talking to her for 90 minutes, this is what I want to do.  

Hubby had lots of questions and this took him by surprise, but he's a good guy and said to do whatever I need (and it didn't have to count toward personal gift or travel expense).

I start the week after Thanksgiving.  This works because I want a little space to get feeling my best again.  I don't want to waste any sessions -- this is about moving forward, not regaining ground I lost.  Does that make sense?  I think I can stabilize my hormone dive before then and be better energetically and such.

I'll stop The Life Coach School program in November -- I think that's when I reach VIP, but it might be December.  

I'm also considering dropping out of Jen Hatmaker big book club next year.  The books are so-so and I've read a bunch.  The "gift" hasn't been for me lately either.  This month was coffee beans -- nice, but caffeinated so I have them on my desk as aromatherapy.  I'll give it a couple more months.  I can still buy the book and participate in the local chapter.  

Hope you have a good day.  Stay well.  Later gators.

Scary Book for Halloween

This book is SCARY (!!)  Like the kind of scary I hate turning off the lights.  I'll give it a little bit more today and then it'll have to wait until hubby is home if it doesn't settle down (so far, home invasion murders).  I LOVE being scared, but given my sleep issues lately, not cool to take hours to fall asleep.  Hahaha.  

I had a nice afternoon with my girlfriend.  I didn't find one thing to buy at the vintage market though -- bummer.   My lunch with my foster friend on Thursday was postponed so this was my one-and-only outing this week.  Major rain heading in AND she texted that the convention she's attending is MASKLESS by everyone but her.  She wants to isolate after this trip.  I'm grateful for honest and smart people in my life.

Today is the life coaching consultation call.  It's far from a done deal.  Two concerns -- price and her experience.  She started her business a year ago.  Left a pediatrician career so you know she's smart (and probably used to making money!) ... but can she COACH at a level that I need?  I took care of the low lying issues over the last few years.  This is deeper and need someone who can see and call out my BS.  Stay tuned ...

MOOD is still going strong -- especially in the afternoon which is leading to SNACKING which makes me feel like crap with no energy.  Circle of life from hell.  Today is the day I break the circle.  A few days of regular dinners and no snacks should make a world of difference.  I know this.  I ignore this.  Shit.

When do the clocks change?  It's staying dark so late in the mornings -- must be close.  Just googled ...  November 7.  We are close to central time so our light/dark hours are about 45 minutes shifted from any place we've lived before.  

That's all from here.  Have a great day.  Later gators.

P.S.  Why isn't a book scary in the morning?  It's dark.  I'm alone.  Why was I sure I was getting kidnapped for torture last night, yet feel safe and sound this morning?!?!?

Office Picture Wall

It's FINALLY finished -- my office looks girly (in a house of boys) and filled with things I like.  Hubby hung the pictures.  All the mirrors in the middle are leftovers that wouldn't fit in the Asheville house.  Maybe I'd have dropped a few of the things lower as it kind of looks like a stripe across the wall, but it works.

The BEFORE:

Best tip I ever heard was to do a
mock-up in paper first.

The AFTER:

He also hung a couple of things over the pinboard on the desk wall.  I forgot to take a picture.  Two walls are "busy" and two are simple.  I like the balance.

In other news ... I had bookclub yesterday (BTW, finally a nice backdrop to a video call).  One of the women in our local chapter is hosting a Legacy fundraiser for Jen Hatmaker and her organization.  B.T Harman and Jen will be at the 60 person dinner -- outside at the lake at this women's home.  What?!?!  So exciting.  It was opened to our bookclub chapter first and it's already almost sold out.  A few of us bought tickets.

I was on the fence -- at night, drive to the lake, hubby out of town so dog issues.  Outside, but probably with a sided tent.  Pandemic concerns, but then I thought -- why not.  Be a little brave to go out in the evening.  I'm vaxed and masked.  It's mid-November so I have lots of time to worry be excited.  Absolute worst case is I donate my ticket to someone.  For now, I'm going and looking forward to it.  Choose the bigger life.

Jen is also trying to fit in an Atlanta bookclub chat while she's in town.  Not super likely, but maybe (!!)

I also went over to the kids' new house to drop goodies and pickup the stuff we loaned them for the move. I brought the leftovers from the picnic (everything was in a cooler so nothing went bad).  Hubby and youngest stayed and watched football.  I took the dogs home for bookclub meeting.

Their house looks amazing.  So happy and proud of them too.  

My mood was in full swing though.  Our dogs were marking a little (ugh!!) over top their dog marked and also taking my grand-dogs toys to chew up (which I took away from them).  I couldn't relax.  My son was a bit grumpy about the toys and that made it all the more uncomfortable for me.  My DIL reminded him how much their dogs have done over the years at our house.  It makes me concerned for Thanksgiving.  I might need to belly band them.  That set off my mood and thoughts about "how much I do for his dogs" etc, etc.  

The good news was I held my ground about going home for bookclub instead of using their office.  It gave me an excuse to leave early since it I wasn't having a good time.  Food that I couldn't eat, hyper vigilant about my dogs and football.  Not a good combination.  I could tell this upset me more than it should have -- hormones are a bitch.  I'd like to say I'm over it, but it still stings a bit.  Best to not problem solve this until my mood evens out again.  BTW, I think SUGAR is becoming another culprit in escalating my mood.  I don't eat a lot of sweets, but when I do, I notice a correlation.  Dang.  I ate A LOT of carrot cake.

Headed to a vintage market with a girlfriend today.  Something different than coffee.  Cleaning crew this morning.  Timing is a bummer (they're coming early today) but can't complain about a clean house. 

Have a great start to the week.  Later gators.

Winery

It was a fun day in the GA mountains.  The winery was packed, but manageable as many people were winery hopping for the day.  We got a great table and enjoyed the afternoon.  Weather was amazing.  Blue skies, low humidity, cool temps.

The winery did a massive renovation and quadrupled their outdoor space.  A big indoor expansion is almost finished too -- that includes 8 more bathrooms.  The little winery only has 2 individual bathrooms.  We were at the back of a very long line and the owner took us over to the bathroom in the actually wine making area.  After hearing our story (DIL bday and missed bridal shower), she let us join the end of a tour to see the private cellars.  That was an unexpected treat.  Also, the bartender gave her a chocolate wine treat as a birthday gift.  

Early to grab a table.

Busted eating the candied bacon.

Red wine pour into the chocolate cup.

It's a nice combination.

Group selfie.  Love this bunch.

Today is another fun day.  Heading over for a little bit to see the kids' house and the grand-dogs.  Hubby will stay to watch football and head to the airport (it's an hour closer from their house) and I'll head home for bookclub.

I need to make more of an effort with bookclub.  No effort = no new friendships with this group.  They are interesting women and I'd like to continue a connection.  Mid-afternoon on Sundays is not ideal for me though, but it's only once a month.  They also switched to zoom format and that should work better.  I couldn't use the other on my computer -- as much as I downloaded, etc.  It's hard to do a bookclub on a phone (for me and my eyes).  This month is a book I read 6 months ago.  I decided not to reread it so I probably won't have a lot to say or remember lol.

Speaking of books, my girlfriend mailed me a box of books for my LFL and I haven't read any of them.  The stack GROWS.  I need to get reading.  I finished The Mother-In-Law and it was good.  Actually would make an interesting bookclub discussion -- lots of layers.  Next on my list is a serial killer book (name on my nightstand so stay tuned).  I haven't read on of those in a long time.  Recommended and perfectly creepy for Halloween week.  Hope I don't get the nighttime spooks reading it home alone.

That's all from here.  Can't say my hormones are doing well yet and yesterday's eating (cake and more cake) probably didn't help.  Hanging on for some smoother waters.  Have a good Sunday.  Later gators.

Carrot Cake

I made a carrot cake recipe for my DIL birthday cake from Cake By Courtney.  I've made a few of her cakes and her recipes are spot on -- but time consuming.

I planned to make a carrot cake from a vintage recipe I've used over the years, but I had the idea to make the frosting from Cake By Courtney -- I think that's her super power.  After looking over the recipe, I decided to make the cake too.

One problem.  I don't have three 8 inch cake pans (I have 9 inch).  I run into this problem every time I use her recipes so I FINALLY ordered the 8 inch while the cakes were baking.  It's not a big issue, but the cake looks better with 3 layers..  I baked two 9 inch and a few cupcakes.  Next time.

I left the sides bare to make the cake seem less squatty.  I used GF flour and the cupcakes were delicious.  The cream cheese butter cream is incredible though and I don't usual like icing.  Biggest difference in the cake recipes were no nuts in this one and different sugars.  Next time I might add the nuts.  NO RAISINS in either though and I like that.

She includes weight measurements so I used the scale -- lordy is that so much easier when you need 6 cups of something.

Here she is in her glory.  "Rustic" and yummy.

Picnic is all set.  Easy-ish taking help from the sub platter.  Two homemade dips (German beer spread and lemon-garlic hummus), candied bacon, sammies, chips, grapes, cucumbers and pretzels for dipping and CAKE.  Of course, wine tasting and such.  

Weather is set to be perfect.  That means CROWDS so we need to get there early to get a big table.  We packed a table and chairs just in case. 

Fingers crossed it all works smoothly.  Happy Saturday.  Later gators. 

Funky Town Complaints

I'm back in a hormone funk this week.  For those wishing for *TMI* -- I'm ovulating and I don't think I do that every month anymore.  It's playing havoc with all things ... sleep, mood, mood, mood, mood.  Hah!

I was having a pity party because I'm preparing a picnic for the family to celebrate DIL's birthday and (as usual) there's very little I can eat.  I realize this sounds MAD since I'm the one making the stuff.  No one wants to eat what I can eat -- I've tried.  I have a few things in the mix, but nothing much.

The pity party is because I have to prepare EVERYTHING.  I'm left with little energy to figure out something fun for myself.  If I partake in what I make, I have real-deal physical consequences.  No one notices.  No one cares.  No one helps.  See -- pity party.

Also, due to supply chain issues and living in the country, our grocery store didn't have any of the GF stuff I needed.  Why did I go to that store?  Because hubby needed some stuff and "my" stores don't carry Diet Dr. Pepper and the likes.  Taking one for the team (him).

After making a couple of things, I decided to make hubby and me a treat.  Ted Lasso recipe for milk biscuits.  I made them happily and made them GF.  I was excited to give him the little surprise.

Hang on ... getting to the big deal complaint ...

Hubby comes down, eats the cookies (loves them) and asks what's for dinner.  He takes care of his regular meals because he REFUSES to try anything I make that's not meat or pasta.  I told him I have tomato soup, lentil soup or bean burgers.

He asks me to start making him dinners he likes.  What in hell's name?!?!?

I asked him to meet me halfway, try some of the things, make some effort himself, etc.  We had a heated conversation.  All is okay today and I got to vent and we're compromising (aka I'm agreeing to help him out without an obligation of daily meals).  

Here's why I was so upset.  I'm trying very hard to keep myself together amid food sensitivities and physical changes and emotional upset with NO HELP.  I'm doing this on my own.  As I said before, no one notices I can't eat anything.  Let's get pizza (but no GF pizza).  He doesn't want to hear about it which I understand, but if I don't talk about it, he doesn't "remember" I'm going through anything.  Vicious circle.

Some days it's hard to keep it all together and feel like I'm trying to problem solve and take care of myself alone.  Then he steps up and ask me to TAKE CARE OF HIM (remember the haircuts?!?).  

Setting this boundary is poop since it makes me upset and guilty, but I need to have my back.  His understanding or not is work he has to do -- another thing that's not my job.  

That's where I sit this morning.  A bit better for talking it out with him, holding a boundary ... but, still, crap in a handbag kind of feeling.  Hopefully, a solid morning routine will set up my day better.

Making picnic food AND a vintage carrot cake recipe (don't know why it's vintage other than it's an old recipe) AND off to another grocery store to find things on my wish list.

Have a good one.  Later gators.