Yellow and The Truthiest Truth

Yesterday ...

4:30 am -- 9 pm. Go, go, go.

All day. 

It was a total variety pack of a day. 

I made it. 

Still another packed morning, but then, a couple of days of ease before the kids arrive. Fun "work" running after a toddler for the rest of the trip.

I had a couple of errands in town (library returns and an in-person reservation for bookclub next month) so I walked. Rounded a corner and a sea of yellow. Picture doesn't do the yellowness-of-it-all justice. I absolutely love our little town, especially in the fall.

I'm going to be snarky for a minute. 

Karma's probably excited. 

Validating gossip.

The person I'm taking space from sent a strange and aggressive text to our group (added softeners like "have a wonderful week BS and love you all, BUT"). No one responded. She called me while I was hiking and didn't leave a message. Guess to get support or complain? It didn't have to do with me, so I expect it wasn't a jack-me-up-call.

Here's me being snarky. 

I loved it. 

I love feeling validated that I'm not imagining her behavior (she's dealing it around apparently). I love that I didn't call her back. I love that it didn't make me upset. I love that I won't add support (I don't agree with her). I love that no one responded (me being snarky).

Of course, maybe people sent her individual messages. But this group responses to EVERYTHING (I have notifications off for the group for this reason) and flatly ignored her left-field directive. 

I'm really, really proud of my reaction. No interest in calling her back. No interest in talking to her about it. Completely staying on the sidelines. Totally feeling validated in my decision on this relationship. This isn't a person I want in my close circle. 

I would've expected it would take me longer to make the emotional break. But it hasn't. It's a lesson that's been a long, long time learning with a lot of heartache. 

There's something to notice in this situation. I don't get upset when I'm not invested in holding a relationship. When I don't care about the direction of relationship. When I'm not clinging to an ideal. 

When if this happens again, maybe I'll recognize why I'm accepting behavior that doesn't work for me. I can ask myself what's underneath. Because it's something. The truthiest truth (as Glennon says) is lingering below the surface. 

I have an idea about what was lingering underneath for me in this situation. Too long and too deep to go into today, but it's important I see and acknowledge it.

Speaking of lingering ... best finish chatting and get packing. Have a good one. Later gators.