Asheville

I'm in Asheville and it's a mix-bag feeling (getting better though).

Since I'm all up in feelings right now, I'm going to talk about it this morning.

I had a really nice conversation with a friend on the drive up. We laughed at everything and the absurdity of it all (including this awful jaw pain - sometimes I can't open my mouth). It helped to laugh.

I stopped in Franklin at the Indie bookstore and the coffee shop -- both nice experiences with friendly people. Lots and lots of signage to support the struggling local businesses. 

Then Asheville.

There was SO MUCH do to when I walked in the door. House is filthy. Plants dead. Stuff everywhere. Hubby took care of his areas and mine went to hell after 5 months. The happy, relaxing feeling I usually get walking in the door was a big 'nope' yesterday.

This lead me to a gross overreaction. Was Asheville a mistake? Was this purchase a product of the pandemic woes? Are we making another mistake with our local move? Reacting to another hardship in the world?

Asheville isn't recovered and there are very notable differences. Limited hours of operation (my favorite tea house), extra days closed (almost every restaurant on a Tuesday). Closed roads. Clean up piled to sides of road. It is sad and it's the first time I'm seeing it. Of course, we hardly experienced any of it and I'm not comparing. 

I left all the mess at the house and went to the tea house because it's not open for the full day anymore. It was almost the same -- I think I was projecting my mood on the experience more than it had changed. I shopped locally and found some cool vintage clothes. An outfit for the holidays next year and a blazer for this winter. I'm not completely sure I'm cool enough to pull off this much vintage, but I think the blazer will look good with jeans. 

Skirt cut on bias.
Velvet jacket.
Corduroy red/pink jacket.

I found a book and a fun notebook made from an old book. I have a similar one I use all the time -- this is a small version. 

Read the little parable book at the tea house -- very short book and very timely. It's about the stories we tell ourselves and how we accept them as truth. 

That felt a little more like Asheville-as-usual. Went to the grocery store to stock up on a few items (everything in the fridge and freezer was trashed after the storm). Started organizing. Started cleaning. 

Big clean this morning after a mountain walk. However, there are a few electric trucks parked in front of the house, just sitting there. I'm wondering if power is getting cut. I'm vacuuming before the walk, I guess. 

I set up a spring clean up for the yard too. 

I think once I get my little house back to itself, it'll feel a lot better. I cleaned and restocked the LFL. With what's going on with the wedding and move, every little extra thing to do feels large and overwhelming.

My jaw is a mess and I'm not sure what to do about it yet. Also, hormones so I'm extra, extra. This is contributing to so many feelings. That said, I slept HARD. Incredibly good stats this morning. I had such big dreams (so much REM sleep) and they were all upsetting -- guess I'm working out my stress. What I need is a good cry, but it's sort of stuck. I can't seem to unstick it. How do you make yourself cry? I've tried music, meditation and neither worked.

My hope for the end of the day is the walk, late lunch with my sister, and a clean house will perk me up and that Asheville feeling will be back. Maybe I'll luck out and find a way to have a cleansing cry too since I have a lot of solo time today.

Sitting here with the windows open, birds singing -- this is a good sign for a good day. Hope you have a good day too. Later gators.