I'm BACK!

Today is a massive catch-up day.  Tomorrow will be back to normal with pictures and scoop from the trip.

It was a whirlwind.  I ATE EVERYTHING in sight ALL DAY LONG.  Nothing fits (but so worth it).

Travel yesterday left us awake for a full 24 hours.  I never actually slept on the way home -- so stinking happy to be back in my bed last night.

I'm unpacked, doing mounds of wash, heading to fill up the refrigerator and start the CARB DETOX. I'll probably have a headache for days (even with potatoes and rice and veggies).

Happy Halloween -- weather is set to be a dump of a night.  Thunderstorms and heavy rain.  Bummer for kids.  

In honor of Halloween ... my homemade tiramisu decorated with "art to identify which one is yours." When I scroll through my pictures, I jump when I see this.  I'm either a fantastic artist or really, really scared of spiders.  P.S. It was delicious -- made with no cream!!

Addio

Vacation Reads:

Little Fires Everywhere (Celeste Ng) -- top choice
The Hating Game (Sally Thorne) -- fun, easy read

Didn't make the cut -- My Lovely Wife (Samantha Downing)
I only need 2 books and this had mixed reviews (like most suspense books)

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Remember Nom Nom Paleo?  Awesome recipes, website, books and Instagram.  She recommended a travel sound machine for good sleep.  It's tiny and LOUD.  Lots of noise options including 5 fan sounds -- rain and forest noises don't do it for me.  I'll let you know how it does on the trip.  $30 on Amazon.

I forgot to take a picture before I packed it ...





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Here's a look at the bedroom decor beginnings.  Hung curtain panels, new lamp shades and hung the mirror.

We need more wall decor and dresser/table stuff.  It has a long way to go, but had to start somewhere.

That's my packing on the floor.
Carry-on only -- miracle.

Need something big with soft edges on the dresser.
Maybe faux plants as a start?
I'll do wall pictures to the left of it too.

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I'm packed!!

Drum roll ... workout clothes FIT!!

P.S. One tiny minute of complaining about the weather.  I go out of town twice recently and both times LEAVE cooler weather to travel back to summer-like temperatures.  Come on.  Give a gal a break already.  Surviving Atlanta summers is no joke.

Packing actually went smoothly.  "Brain" packing visualization worked well.  A few last minute things today and I'm ready to go.

I ran on the trail yesterday -- boy, I wanted to skip it.  Glad I didn't.  Probably another trail run today (if the rain stops on time).  Nothing feels as good as running.  Sometimes it comes close, but there's something about running that works.

My nerves are now mixed with excitement.  Can't wait to be eating LOL.  Best food I've ever eaten (and I think ever will).  Europe does food well, but Italy is the best.  Of course, I haven't been everywhere, but, come on -- it's not like German food can beat Italian - hah.

I'm set for 8 days of "togetherness."  Hubby is up with me this morning -- excitement got him up.  Kind of bummed, but I'm still up in my office trying for some alone time before we leave.

I'll be back on Halloween if all goes as planned.  Ready for our 4 trick-or-treaters (our one neighbor who already let everyone know what time they are heading out).  Small neighborhood with mostly empty nesters.  I have a box of 30 bars -- guess each kid is getting a big haul from us.  Next year I'll do Halloween gift bags (if it's only 4 kids) and no more Costco boxes.  End of an era.

Addio.

Not As Planned

I didn't run outside yesterday.  I started out and there was something scary happening behind our house.  Sounded like dogs (probably coyotes) and birds (probably wild turkeys) and some other animal noise.  I gave it a few minutes and a few minutes again -- it was still happening.  I don't want to be hunted (!!)  Boxed inside instead.

Later this morning I'll head to the trail.

The Course in Miracles was a bit of a bust as well.  It was super packed with people new to me, but not new to the group.  The circle became a game of who could tell a more pathetic story of "someone" they know/knew ... neighbor's husband with Parkinson's, a friend from 20 years ago who died tragically, cousin who is depressed, etc.  People weren't telling to show a lesson, just talking to talk.

One of the 30 year members commented that the lesson was positive, but the group was bringing it down to "human" negativity.  No one listened.  The group leader tried to redirect a few times without success.  The time ran over (since people wouldn't stop talking) -- I left.  Couldn't take one more person's story about gloom and doom -- that happened long ago or something they saw on the NEWS.  For heaven's sake -- why?!?

Guess every week can't be a home run.  I think this was another exception kind of week -- based on the old-timers reactions (they didn't participate in gloomy tell-all).  There is value to talking about things that are upsetting and hurting, but then there's a shocking telling group mentality.

Even the first week when there was an outburst of a member (who was back this week for the first time), the gloom didn't take over.

Took me a bit to shake that experience.  I'm working on this energy thing and it was a good example of an energy drain.

Now for some riveting updates on PACKING!  LOL.

I "brain" packed yesterday and prepped the dog stuff.  Not as much as I wanted to do, but I decided today I can actually pack (not a test run) so best to wait for today.  Believe it or not, 2 days to get ready for a trip is fine.

Weather in Italy continues to warm up and that solidified my clothes packing thoughts.  Back to the summer skirts I was trying to avoid wearing for the 8th year.  Can't be done.  They are perfect for warmer weather.  I'll take jeans and blouses too.  Weather is way too warm for boots, sweaters, etc.  COMFORT is king (or queen).

Tomorrow should be some updates on my new sound machine, downloaded books and packing (hah) -- unless I get totally over run and have no time (hello, nerves).  Later gators.

Let the packing begin ...

Last early morning wake up before our trip.  I'm letting myself sleep LATE over the next couple of days so I'm well rested.  Basically, we skip a night's sleep flying overnight.

My usual trip nerves are in full swing.  Packing nerves, plane nerves, etc.  Every single time.  The bigger the trip, the bigger the nerves.  Packing starts today -- that should help a little.

No football gathering this weekend.  Eldest has a cold.  Bummer for him.  Patient Zero needs to stay away though.

We met yesterday and secured the rehearsal dinner night.  It seems like it's going to work really nicely -- from cost to room to food choices.  It's getting exciting and REAL.  I need to get a dress for the wedding and the rehearsal.  Shopping with a specific goal is not my best kind of shopping -- that panic is for another day though.

Since my travel nerves are flying high, ALL the nerves are flying.  Wedding stuff, renewing my RN license, holidays, leaving the dogs.  Stuff I don't need to have nerves about at all.  I was tossing and turning last night.  Up to run outside and go to A Course in Miracles class -- maybe both of those will help.

Yesterday was a full out rain day and high in the low 50s.  It felt great.  Our little Duke gets cold when it's under 90 (southern boy to his core) and hates to be wet -- he wasn't happy.  We lit the fire pit for the first time since we've moved.  It's back to the high 70s today -- short lived cold front.






My "beauty" prep is set for the trip.  I decided to keep my orange toe nails (I like them) and no spray tan.  I'm switching up my packing so my pale legs aren't an issue.  Got my fingers, eyebrows and hair all set.

Weather in Rome isn't going to be great.  Warm-ish and rain.  Clothes packing is so complicated for fall temperature swings.

I'm torn about a possible decision to NOT pack workout clothes.  What?!?!  It takes up so much room (with running shoes) and I don't know how much time I'll have to workout.  We have early mornings all but 2 days and the workout option in Florence is outside running.  We're staying along the river and there's a great path for running -- BUT, it doesn't get light until almost 7am and we have early mornings.  The day we travel to Florence is the time change in Europe (we'll get it twice this year LOL).  That helps with morning light, but still might not be early enough.  Is it worth the suitcase room for maybe 2 or 3 quick workouts?  Haven't decided.  I'll try to fit everything, but fall clothes take up more room and I'm always super duper tightly packed in the carryon with spring clothes.  We'll be walking like crazy in Rome -- not too worried about movement those days.  Florence is all private tours, so not nearly the walking.  It's going to come down to suitcase room.  I have a few ideas to consolidate -- I'll see where that gets me.

That is all from nerve-central this morning.  I wish I knew WHY this happens when I travel.  I don't let it stop me from traveling and the minute we arrive, all nerves are gone, but the lead up is wacky world on steroids.  Happy Sunday - later gators.

Energizing

Yesterday was a good day.  In particular, I put some of my coaching things into practice and it was interesting to see how it played out.

The hike was so much fun.  Cooler, crisp weather made all the difference.  We hustled and cut our time by HALF!  The conversation was fun too -- talked everything from ghosts and spirits to vacations.

The new NY Deli that opened is terrific.  I took a separate car and was there early so I got to chat with the owner (CURIOUS).  Made the experience better and my lunch selection delicious.  I got the cauliflower GF crust (made in store) with prosciutto and arugula.  (Pre-gaming for Italy.)

This is where it turned a bit.  The neighborhood "mayor" joined us -- self appointed busy body and a big part of why I quit bookclub.  She arrived and saw me at the table, looked me up and down and said, "oh, I didn't know the entire neighborhood was invited."  I picked up that comment and gave it right back to her (about getting lost getting there).  Snarky, yep.  Felt good, yep.  She heard me loud and clear - yep.  Funny enough, 3 other neighbors were invited that she thought were going to come -- the comment was about me.  She dominated the conversation ENTIRELY on a neighborhood situation.  We need to go to the district attorney, TV stations, sue the builder, etc.  No exaggeration.  Nothing light, nothing positive, nothing enjoyable.

I kept up some side conversations that were light (about the food mostly).  I countered her aggressive stand a few times then I left the table to shop in the store.  They have lots of food gifts and I did a bit of Christmas shopping.  The really nice neighbor (who moved) came up to me and ask if the conversation was upsetting me -- because the mayor thought so (probably happy about it) -- what a witch.  I said I wasn't upset, but didn't want to join her crazy call-to-arms.  Stood up for myself, nicely, but honestly.  Had my own back.  Maybe this neighborhood thing is a problem (super long story), but before we overreact, let's take a breath AND NOT LET THE MAYOR DECIDE FOR US!!

After the lunch, I had my nail appointment.  I shook off the energy from the mayor and had a great nail appointment -- best conversation.  Turns out we both have been to the Korean Bath House and had similar experiences.  Story for another day, but all about walking around nude and the little ladies who love their birthday suits LOL.

Holly told me to pay attention to how people's energy effects me and make adjustments accordingly.  Yesterday, I did that and it was interesting.

Energy on the hike was awesome -- nature, conversation, connection.
Energy BEFORE the mayor came (luckily 45 minutes late since she was lost LOL) was great.
I did a good job of blocking her negative Nelly comments and conversation.
Energy at my nail appointment was also fun and energizing.

Holly says some people will drain you, some will energize you.  Pay attention.  Some are obvious, some more subtle.  That's why social situations can feel overwhelming or feel amazing -- even when the social "thing" seems similar.

Two big takeaways were being CURIOUS and watching ENERGY.  Made for a fun, full day that left me energized and happy.

PSA for my future self (who will forget to remember this, over and over).  Later gators.

P.S.  Remember that I declined GNI on Thursday night?  Fall craft making for $15, bring wine and bring appetizer.  This is what my extremely crafty friend made -- and I know it had to be the nicest one.  This made me laugh and glad I chose not to go.  Looks like a pumpkin with salad on top -- maybe I'm still being snarky LOL.

It's Friday :)

Ugh - yucky night's sleep.  Tossed and turned and wide awake for a few hours.  Fell back to sleep around 4 ... you guessed it, 5 o'clock came with a bang.  I think it's because I ate crappy all evening.  Dang, girl -- do better.  Tonight is another try (and maybe a Benadryl -- allergies are part of the issue too).

Hike morning.  A big group was invited, but only 3 of us are going.  Can't say that I'm unhappy about it.  The larger group had some questionable hikers -- not trying to be mean, but they are probably better off on a lesser hike.  (One has a bad knee and a limp, one doesn't hike ... things like that.)

After the hike, we are meeting our former neighbor (who recently moved) for lunch in my old town -- funny enough.  A new deli opened and I'm happy to try it.  I'll drive myself and head to my nail appointment and a few errands.  (Pretty please let my jeans be fixed.)

I ran on the trail yesterday -- it's a good option when I run later in the morning.  Didn't time the run since I know the turn around place now (don't need the running app going).  I'll time runs every so often to see if I'm improving.  Boxing workout this morning ahead of the hike.

Tomorrow starts the active trip prep (i.e. packing).  Once I have a plan for my clothes and feel good that they can fit in a carryon, I can relax a bit -- that won't happen until Monday, but I'll start tomorrow.  (No judgement zone - hah.)  I'll try on outfits, make an outfit list -- not actually pack until closer to travel though.  Slow going, not rushed -- best way to manage my packing/traveling stress.

This was a quick hello.  I have brain mush this morning.  Have a fantastic Friday ... it's the WEEKEND (!!)  Later gators.

Coaching Call and Candle Making

I had nothing planned to say on the coaching call so I mentioned how bone tired I was on Tuesday after my evening Monday.  Asked how it could be since I was careful about self-care, edited my calendar, etc.

Holly asked about the evening (how I felt about the people there and what we talked about) and I told her the conversation was heavy.  The group had some seriously tragic stuff happen (including one of the doc's son was killed).  I couldn't stop thinking about all the people involved in super hard life stuff.

She said THAT is what zapped my energy.  Empathic tendencies.  I've been told this before -- hear something sad and take that energy on (even though I know it's not about me).  She's giving me some resources to explore (guided meditation and a book).

We talked a lot about it and it seems to fit.  It wasn't about the busy 2 weeks -- it was about that night.  (It CAN be about "busy," but I don't think that was the issue this time.)  Somehow this feels like a relief to know what happened.  I was really confused about the level of exhaustion I felt on Tuesday -- exhaustion that wasn't relieved at all by any of my usual fixes.  This makes sense.

More on this as I learn more.  It's a bit woo woo but after talking about it, I can see this explains certain times really well (my days of "work hangovers" and some family visits, etc.).

Last night was my last evening commitment before our trip next week.  Neighborhood candle making.  I use that term loosely.  They did the work -- cut, sanded wine bottles, all the supplies (they used to sell candles).  We picked our holders, chose the scent and did an easy assembly.  It was a great night.  Fun ladies, fun conversation, good/drinks and my FAVORITE dogs in the neighborhood (finally got to pet them -- adorable little old gals).





Today is a recovery day with a few errands intermixed.  Hubby is golfing (although it's only going to be for a couple of hours).  I might run the trail a little later this morning (I slept in -- late night yesterday).  If I don't run, then I'll box.  Totally winging my workout and doing what I feel like in the moment.

Hitting a long meditation today -- focusing on mental recovery too.  Almost a crash kind of day -- but healthy crashing (not the eat junk and stay in PJs crashing).  Later gators.

Jean Emergency

I have a favorite pair of jeans from Madewell.  No idea which kind (I cut out the tag) -- light, stretchy, higher waisted, tall length.  Yesterday the zipper broke, without warning --- eeekkk.  Fortunately, I had stopped home before leaving to meet a friend for coffee.

Emergency visit to the dry cleaners.  Fingers crossed they can fix it by Friday.  It's my travel jeans for the trip.  I planned at least 4 days of wear -- now I'm a bit scared.  Maybe I need a backup too.  I thought I was prepared for packing.  Thank goodness this didn't happen while I was on the trip (or on the plane, etc).

Yesterday I was bone tired.  A day of being socially "on" left me empty.  I was shocked at how tired I felt.  I faked energy all day and went to bed early.  Not a great night for sleep -- hubby was loud coming home, loud coming to bed and snored for a few hours.  Dang.

I planned to outdoor run today, but the rain never came yesterday until evening and now it's still raining.  Maybe a boxing workout -- last minute decision.  I don't need a big weather break to do the run outside, but I don't feel lucky this morning.

Today is the last of my full, full days.  It ends tonight with craft night in our neighborhood.  I'm glad I said no to GNI tomorrow.  I'm tired, stressed about travel (as usual) and need some quiet time (and sleep).

ROUTINE!!  I need it before our trip.  I'm spinning a bit and the trip is fast approaching now.  My "empty" days are filling up and I'm trying to leave downtime for slow packing, mental rest and physical rest.  It's not going quite as planned, so far.  Once I get my outfits planned and squeeze it all into a carryon, I'll relax until the day of the trip.  Jean emergency is NOT helping LOL.

Coaching call today with NO PLAN.  What?!?  I'm not coming from a thoughtful, introspective place today.  Maybe it'll be about how I can't handle a full calendar with any grace.  Why don't I have social endurance?  My calendar is full by MY STANDARDS -- I have a really low threshold on what I consider "full" though.

I leave with this funny ... thankfully, rarely true for me - hah.  Later gators.

"Conversational Narcissist"

I read about this the other day.

I think I have a habit of doing this sometimes and sometimes more than sometimes.

Turning the conversation back to ME with the intention of "relating" to what someone is saying.

"I'm having a bad day."  Me too.  "I'm really tired."  Me too.  "Life feels hard."  For me too.

The intention is to say you're not alone, but the reality is it becomes about ME.  Especially when the feelings are hard ones.  (Grief, sadness, loneliness, etc).  It fills a space when I don't know what to say.

I'm going to be careful about this -- I can offer something that relates, but AFTER I listen and HEAR what my friend is telling me.  Being quiet.  Being curious.

I like the CURIOUS thing a lot.  It's one of my journal list items (Rachel Hollis journal).  Curious comes in handy in a number of situations.  Boring conversation -- be curious and the conversation isn't boring.  Variety -- be curious and you learn and experience more.  Connection -- be curious and someone feels heard and appreciated.

I need to give CURIOUS more regular focus.

That my PSA for Future Me reading this post -- REMEMBER this!!  (I took this to heart last night.)


Anyway ...

Last night was WORTH IT.  A nice night connecting with people I shared a few awesome years really knowing.  We talked about EVERYTHING with this group and I miss them.

(Not loving myself in the pictures, but that's a self worth talk for another time.)

Touch the Bump picture

The Battery was nice and nicely NOT crowded because of the holiday.  Don't think it would be that great with crowds and lots of traffic.  It took me an hour to get there with light traffic.  I can check it off my list though.

El Felix is coveted at its location up north (near me).  Can't touch the place -- always packed.  I have no idea what the fuss is about.  It was okay.  Our server was awesome, but the food was overpriced and over smoked (everything had smoky flavor and I'm not a fan).  I still overate chips and salsa -- hah.  Took my entire dinner home for leftovers tonight.  Another check off my list and P.S. glad I never waited in the 2 hour waits to try it (no reservations).

Because of a rainy day today, I ran on the trail yesterday morning.  Remember my goal to cut 4 minutes off my 3-mile time?  I already cut one minute yesterday.  (I knew the first 1-2 minutes would be fairly easy.)  Now for the harder work -- but first a workout rest day.

My car is going in the shop for the big tuneup so hubby and I are trying a new place for lunch.  A big work-shop-live-eat place had its soft opening a few weeks ago.  We want to see what's what.  He's dropping me after at a coffee shop to catch up with a girlfriend (who will take me back to my car).  Hubby's out tonight with the men's group in the neighborhood (local Mexican restaurant -- probably better than El Felix - hah).  I get peace and quiet and rest tonight.  Yea!!

Tomorrow is my coaching call and I'm stumped at what to chat about -- although something always presents.

Narrowed book selections to 3 ... stay tuned.  I need a good fiction book.

Today feels like the weekend since I'm such a party animal going out on a Monday.  Have a great day.  My plans are FUN and RECOVERY.  Later gators.

Extra Boring Post (!!)

I slept LONG and HARD last night and it feels good.  I'm up 2 hours later than normal and I don't care.  These are some packed days and extra rest feels like what I need.

I'm going to the baby shower tonight -- decision finally finalized.  That was a ridiculous effort to figure that out LOL.  I'll be out late so starting the day well slept is good.  After all my mind drama, I'm actually excited to go.  I've never been to Battery (fun area by the baseball stadium), never been to El Felix (they have a location up north, but it's always packed) and am excited to see the work peeps.  Win-win-win.

I might go to the trail this morning for another outside run.  Up too late for the neighborhood, but my leg feels good and a big sweat seems nice.  If not, it's boxing day and I'll run tomorrow (although I think rain is in the forecast again).

A Course In Miracles class was spot on -- I love the conversations and the differing opinions.  I didn't stay for the service because my stomach was a bit off and rumbling like crazy.  Wasn't sure where that was going and I didn't want to stick around to find out (it settled down later).

We have the big mirror position marked off and now we need to hang it this week.  Kids held it so I could test some spots.  It looks nice.  The bedroom is feeling cozier now.  I ordered new lamp shades.  Still need wall stuff and dresser stuff.  I don't want to rush it, but if I don't actively work on it, it'll never get finished.  The family room wall is still EMPTY -- that's a harder one.  I'd love a "statement" piece at a budget price -- kind of an oxymoron.

Happy Monday!

Here's a pictogram of my life ...  later gators.

Opposite of Slow Rolling

Up EARLY this morning to get an outside run before A Course in Miracles class.  It's currently raining.  This is a shock after no rain for weeks and weeks.  It should be fine to run though -- it's not a storm.

I might not stay for the service after class.  I'll see how sitting feels.  It's a long duration of not much moving -- between the drive, 90 minute class, 60 minute service and ride back.  Sometimes it's too much sitting for my back.  I'm on back conservation mode ahead of our trip.

German restaurant was fun.  Totally German.  Beer garden was pretty, weather was perfect, music was good, food was German - hah.  That made it okay in my book.  Fun to go, but not a regular thing for me.  My bad for too much gluten lately -- limited my food choices.  Next time I'll make sure I can eat the entire experience (!!)

I wore a new dress.  Won't recommend the online place at all since apparently, no exchanges.  The other cheap dress I bought with it was too tight and they wouldn't exchange it.

Waiting for dogs to potty so we can leave.
Porch selfie.  

Yesterday I mentioned choosing NOT to go to Fun Friday.  Saw this post on Instagram.  EXACTLY!!  I still find it confusing when to push myself and when to accept myself.  I realize it's social outings and not exactly major life decisions, but the little things add up.

Jen Hatmaker says if it's not a HELL YES, it's a no, but that doesn't work for me.  It's more the opposite.  If it's not a HELL NO, then it's a MAYBE which means it could be a YES.  "Maybe" means there's something about it that's appealing or an opportunity to be out of my box.  CONFUSING!

I'm on this subject because of tomorrow night.  Every muscle doesn't want to go downtown for dinner with the old work gang, but I also want to go.  I want the social part, I don't want the up late, traffic drive, etc.  Still waiting to see who's going, but I'll push myself to go -- reluctantly.  The question is -- should I be pushing or should I say no because it's too much of a hassle and this week is FULL?  This comes up a lot for me.

Speaking of pushing ... this morning was a push, but I decided it was worth it.  Outside run, class, maybe service all before entertaining this afternoon and evening.   Morning decisions are so much easier for me.  If tomorrow was a lunch thing -- no brainer.  I'm becoming an evening homebody way more than ever.

Chili turned out great.  Finally weather that makes you want to eat chili.  We hung curtains and some pictures (pictures of it all next week).  It was a productive day.

Eeeeek -- it's POURING RAIN right now.  I have 30 minutes before I need to run outside.  Might need another plan after all.   The hourly forecast just updated to full rain for another couple of hours.  Dang.  Fingers crossed.  I could've slept longer if I knew it was going to rain -- oh well.  Now it's thundering.  Double dang.  Still holding on ... I only need a small window of no storming.  (The real issue is I don't want to get up so early tomorrow and if I can't get the run in this morning ... )

Before I head down a big rabbit hole of complaining, here's another goodie of inspiration.  Later gators.

UPDATE:  Completely stopped raining for my run -- not even a sprinkle.  Currently back to raining and full storm -- super lucky duck this morning.  Thanks, Universe :)

Slow Rolling

Here's an update or two.

We ditched Fun Friday (even though I made the blondies - hah).  Why?  We decided we didn't feel like hanging out in a big group on a weekend when so many people we hang out with are away (Columbus day).  It's small talk, hard to hear, no where to sit and not THAT fun.  We'll go some months and skip others.  The point is to be social with our neighbor and we are -- in small groups, walking the dog, etc.  That's our style and it felt good to make that decision.

The hiking park was surprisingly substantial.  Lots of trails, hard hills, horses all over (Duke LOVED the smells).  We'll go back again for sure.  Only downside was no facilities.  Have to time that well or plan on a mother nature squat.





Then we went on a quest for our flu shots in the afternoon.  Grocery store offering $10 gift card so we tried our local one -- HOUR wait.  Really?  No thanks, so we drove to our old store.  As we were walking in a senior bus pulled up with 20 peeps going for flu shots and a gift card.  Beat the rush by minutes -- we power walked through the parking lot (!!)  Getting PAID to get a flu shot is the thing to do.  Me, hubby and all the senior citizens of the world decided on Flu Shot Friday.

Lunch and errands to finish out the day.  I got everything to make the chili for tomorrow instead of hitting the store today.  Awesome.  Hubby is playing tennis -- I'm slow rolling my morning and enjoying the quiet.

Tonight is the official birthday celebration for our DIL at the local German restaurant.  I'm excited to try it and it should be perfect weather to eat outside.

I made a list of fiction books which I'll look up more deets on before I choose -- stay tuned.  I googled and googled and googled.

Dog sitters are confirmed and that's a load off my mind.  Trip is coming together.  Early organization helps me more than anything else.

We should be hanging the ONLY curtains we're putting in the house this weekend (in our bedroom because we only have a shade on the window -- hubby's request for a shade).  And, then, hopefully the super duper crazy heavy mirror.  Trying to build these walls -- need to start somewhere.

Duke mangled his new Halloween toy in a perfect way ... made me laugh.  The eye is nowhere to be found -- oops?  I'm sure it will pass through with no issue.





I've slow rolled long enough (extra coffee, reading, doing nothing).  Time to get moving.  Have a great Saturday - later gators.

Decisions

I know you are waiting on the edge of your seat ... what did I decide for next week?!?!

Minutes after I submitted my post yesterday, I declined the GNI night on Thursday.  Not going one month doesn't mean I need to make the BIG decision about staying in the group.  I have a feeling the group is slowly dissolving anyway -- lots of movement out of the neighborhood and everyone is bored with hanging out.  We had 4 people drop out last year.  This month's decision was easy -- I was making the drama about the overriding decision.  Punted that until next year when the hosting schedule is made again.

I'm going on Monday to the baby shower -- with one caveat.  This connection is important and the effort is worth it.  It's early in the week and that gives me lots of time to get ready for our trip.  I can leave early and take my time in traffic.  The restaurant is in a shopping area so if I'm early I have something to do.  HOWEVER, so far the response is a mixed bag with kiddie sports conflicts.  If "my" gang isn't going, I'm not going.  That makes the NO easy, but otherwise I'm in.  Ordered an inexpensive (but cute) baby blanket.

P.S.  Getting ready for the big trip is a lot -- in my mind.  Nerves mean I need to get ready early.  Packing will be over 2 days (to keep my stress down) -- packing includes downloading kindle, organizing event vouchers, etc and figuring out clothes to fit in a carry-on.  I have a bunch of maintenance stuff -- nails, eyebrows, leg spray tan -- all days ahead.  I also have to get dogs ready for different sitters.  House stuff -- bills, cleaning, etc.  Having it all worked out a couple days before we leave will RELAX me and that PAY OFF is totally worth it.  Keeping the calendar relatively CLEAR is the answer.

I started Gabby Bernstein's new book (Super Attractor) and in the introduction she talks about what blocks your path.  What blocks your energy.  What blocks your vibration.  I raised my hand high on 2 of them.  She promises to "fix" this and help you open up.  Yes, pretty please.

Still searching for fiction reads for the trip.  Why fiction, you ask?  I usually buy fiction on kindle and self-help kind of books as a book (easier to reread and reference back).  I'm only taking the kindle so I need something ... probably 2 books.  I never read as much as I expect on a plane unless it's really good.

I was proud of myself yesterday.  I missed my window for an outside neighborhood run (before light, before school busses and before all the droves of walkers).  Problem solved it (!!) and ran on a local trail. It's well populated, safe, relatively flat and I was glad to run outside.  I've decided to work on my "speed" for my upcoming birthday.  Trying to shave 4 minutes off my 3 mile time -- 8 months (30 seconds a month).  That's a lot, but I'm going for it.  If I can remain injury free, I should be able to improve pretty nicely.

I also explored our new local town a little.  Sprouts, Home Goods, local restaurant (didn't end up eating there but I wanted to check it out) and the area Costco.  I've been lazy about trying stuff in our area and getting out of the house "just because."  Home Goods finished up my dog Christmas shopping.  They have the best prices on toys.

Today's agenda is a new nature walk (sort of a hike) with hubby, flu shot and Fun Friday in the neighborhood.  Fun Friday isn't as fun as you'd think, but we should make an effort to be social and meet the neighbors.  Baking blondies (GF) for the occasion and some can be for Sunday football -- double duty.  It starts at 6:30 (yea - old people love early) and we'll be home by 8:30 (need to tend to dogs).  Not exactly a party night, but it counts as an evening out in my world.

I've been loose and wild with gluten since Sunday.  What's my problem?  Couple slices of regular pizza.  A sleeve of crackers with soup.  Slice of cake, a few cookies.  So far, my joints are okay, but I had the cold sore twinge yesterday.  That stopped me in my tracks.  Message received.

Happy weekend!  Fall is here (sort of -- good enough) and it feels fantastic.  Have a great one - later gators.

Pictures -- Mirrors and Such

Finally, PICTURES.  (Still missing is the big mirror -- hopefully, that gets hung this weekend and wrapping will come off for a picture.)

Here's the painted mirror.  Subtle difference in pictures -- bigger in person, but the in person looks a little home done.  Again, a bit much at $225.

Before

After

Here's the small mirror for the family room.  We needed something on the wall and a mirror works.  The wood color ties in with the fireplace stone.

Pottery Barn

I got INFLUENCED and ordered a new water bottle.  Survey still not clear -- it has merit, but not perfect.  I like that it's super light weight.  My other bottles are heavy before I even fill them.  It's collapsable and dishwasher safe (minus the lid).  Problem is it's soft-sided and that makes drinking and recapping a bit strange.  I need to use it more before I decide.  Tons of colors to choose from and that's fun.

Small -- fits great in purse.

Opens to 20 ounce

 _________________________________________________________________________


I'm currently "stressing" about my evening schedule next week.  The baby shower was moved to Monday night (I'm free and apparently Braves lost in an epic way).  Wednesday is craft night in my neighborhood (I'm going).  Thursday is the GNI group from my old neighborhood (another craft night).

What to do?! ... Monday is kind of BIG (traffic, longer night, need a gift).  Thursday has potential to be boring (often is and I still debate dropping out of the group).

If it's not a "hell yes," it's a "no."  Yet, I can't seem to actually say NO.  I need to decide both by tomorrow.  Going out 3 nights is too much.  I'm out Friday, Saturday and Sunday already and the following week we leave on Tuesday for Italy.  I need an EDIT on the calendar and I'm torn.  Problem that's not a problem ... but this is not my strong place.  (I wonder if I need an edit or should try to build up some social endurance.)

Today is another free and clear day.  Grocery shopping and a few chores.  Easy.  Tomorrow begins "busy" again so I'll take the rest.

Later gators.

Hump Day

Two days of SOCIAL, two days of RECOVERY.  Seems about right.  I'm back at the things (still a little reluctantly, but it's happening).

Drama at the hair salon.  I had to go 2 weeks early (she's having surgery and I'm heading on vacation).  I mentioned that my hair needed VERY LITTLE TRIM.  She was super busy -- working in 3 other people on my appointment (understandable).  I guess she forgot.  Almost TWO INCHES OFF.  Eeeek.  My "new" styles won't work -- I don't have enough hair.  It's barely at my shoulders.  Also, it appears all the other stylists have left (all work stations are empty).  I didn't want to ask -- I hope business is okay.  Glad my hair grows quickly.

The Universe Has Your Back (Gabby Bernstein).  I'm just about finished and it's good.  Reading her new one next since I'll see her speak in November.  Still searching for a fiction book -- strange that I'm having so much trouble finding something interesting.

My old work group was tentatively getting together tonight for an unofficial baby shower and I was torn about going.  Long, traffic drive AT NIGHT with no specific time ("after work").  Was it worth it?  I keep asking for connection and this is connection, yet I'm tired.  Braves took care of the decision for me.  5th game at home.  No one wants that traffic.  Postponed without a date because who knows what's happening with the baseball series.  I doubt I'll be able to do a new date -- not sure if it's even going to happen.  It might become a "meet the baby" after she delivers.

I have one other debatable next week.  I have craft night in our new neighborhood on Wednesday and GNI the next night.  It's another craft -- 2 nights in a row.  GNI is at the furthest home away from me and my closer friends can't go.  She's asking if we can bring our own drink, an appetizer AND $15 for the craft.  That's a little much.  I have a couple more days to decide.  Leaning toward a no.

I'm working on BALANCE -- social that's worth it to me.  It's challenging when you're a person who doesn't love going out at night.  Pushing out of my box or accepting my nature.  One thing that's important to me is to have social friends from more than one group, yet I often say no to the "other" groups.  But if I don't enjoy the other groups, maybe I need to LET GO so new things can enter.  See?  I have no idea how to allow the balance.

Anyway ...

I didn't take a picture of the mirror during daylight -- that's coming.  More on new goodies soon.

Time to get moving.  Inside workout today and a run tomorrow.  I forgot it's trash day and I don't love running with the recycle truck.  Later gators.

Not QUITE Normal ... yet

I slept in again this morning.  Sleeping was still restless and monthly affected and I only have a late hair appointment on the calendar.  Why not.  It felt good, but this was the last morning.  I miss the early quiet couple of hours.

Looking at my calendar, this week has few things - no big deal.  Nothing major ... but then next week is MASSIVE to-do everyday.  The week before our trip.  I need to soak up the quiet this week and get myself ready for a crazy calendar through November.  (Not all my choice, more on this another time.)

I need to have the big guns in place so I can enjoy all these things.  Sleep, eating, workouts, meditation, time to myself, up early.  ROUTINE!!

Mirror is back home.  Pictures soon.  It looks okay -- probably not $225 okay.  I'm sure it's more labor intensive than it looks.  It was yellow-cream and now it's white with a gray glaze.  Something about it looks a little homespun compared to how it looked.  Maybe it's not as shiny??  It works fine with the room and that was the intention.  Not lining up to get other things painted though.

I'm totally FICTION book-less right now.  I searched and searched and nothing inspired me.  I'll stick with the nonfiction books until my trip.  I need something for the plane and train rides.  Inspiration needs a little time apparently.

Back to my podcasts and "growth" learning today.  The weekend was a fun break but it pulled me back to a lesser place again (less energy, poor eating, lackluster).  I need to figure out a way to enjoy "vacations" without abandoning the changes I'm trying to make.  Practice makes better, I guess.  This could also be related to my monthly -- everything timed together.  Hard to say, but I'm fighting to get back to the healthier stuff.

For example ... I was bummed to miss The Course in Miracles class on Sunday.  Now I'm pushing myself to go this weekend and not bag out.  Same thing with the Tai Chi class -- so happy to have an extension for the class package and now I have no interest in going tomorrow.  Both of these things add value to my day, quiet space, thoughtful space -- suddenly, I'd rather do nothing.  My motivation energy is TANKED.  The difference is I know I need to do these things - so I reluctantly will and then I'll be back on that path again.  I don't know why I fall off.

I needed this family weekend and it was awesome.  I'd do it all over again.  And I needed a break from the "growth" stuff too.  My tank was running low on fun and too much serious.  Maybe this is a question for Holly.  Combine my worlds instead of straddle them -- what's the secret?






Something fun arrived in the mail yesterday.  Opening today and I'll fill you in tomorrow.  Cliff hanger ...

Happy Tuesday.  Later gators.

I'm Home (!!)

It feels like I've been gone for a week.

Super fun trip.  Packed lots of fun into 24 hours.  Seems unreal that it was only a day -- I have no idea why.

I got lucky and my monthly came the minute I got back home.  Extra lucky because the sleeping and bathroom arrangements were interesting.  We slept on the main level in the "old" master bedroom (not in the basement -- phew).  Even though the house has 2 1/2 baths ... EVERYONE used the bathroom in our room.  Strange.  It was a free-for-all room.  My ex-uncle ended up staying the weekend too -- 7 of us, all using that bathroom.

I was on a blow-up mattress on a cot riser.  It was like trying to get on a partially blown up pool float. My legs were in the air, head down, roll over and roll off.  So incredibly uncomfortable.  I thought I'd hit the sofa, but because my ex-uncle stayed, my aunt was on the sofa (her choice).  P.S. my ex-uncle is the biggest jerk.  Rude, obnoxious.  No one was happy he stayed and my cousin didn't feel like she could say 'no.'

My cousin is super sweet and totally relaxed about everything.  We were welcomed (in the way that they do life) so I'm not exactly complaining.  It's more that this old bod can't do that kind of stuff on the regular.

Anyway ... other than that, everything was fabulous.  Weather was much better than expected.  Hot during the day, but by the time the wine festival started, it cooled down.  The next day was heavy overcast while we walked a fun multi-cultural market.  Chattanooga is a cool town -- outdoor vibe, eclectic restaurants, family focused -- my cousin gave us a great tour and fun experience.  I'd go back in a heartbeat (but stay in a hotel or make it a day trip).

Good selfie angle!

Windy, shade and cooler -- awesome.
Wine festival on the walking river bridge.

Absolute funniest aunt!

Not drunk, just silly :)

Indian meal from my cousin's friend.
Incredible.  We ate it for brunch on Sunday.
This is a special plate with specific food placement areas.
Hard boiled egg, yogurt, pudding, naan, curry chicken, rice.

In other LUCKY news ...  I won the Eliminator Football Pool.  Suckers.  Made fun of my picking skills, but I was the victor.  Now I'm rich beyond my wildest dreams.  Might take generations to spend it all ... or something like that ;)

I'm grateful for a "nothing" day (other than picking up the mirror).  I feel like poop but this means I'm all clear for our trip to Italy -- woo hoo (my cycle is getting a bit irregular).  Travel, monthly friend and too much eating makes for a recovery day MUST.

Back to the normal routine tomorrow.  Later gators.

Chattanooga or Bust

Trip time!  Bluegrass festival and the annual bridge wine tasting in Chattanooga.  I'm excited since I've never been.  My cousin lives in the city and is walking distance for all the fun.

Remember my mood?  Well, now it's mood and headache and belly grumbles.  My MONTHLY -- duh!!  I've only had it for 39 years so it's understandable that I didn't see this coming.  Not here YET, but it's on the way.  Pretty please hold off until Sunday afternoon.  But that explains my irritation with LIFE in general and my desire to STUFF MY FACE.

I reluctantly made it to the going away party last night.  I fought pajama urge super hard.  It was catered with all cream based pasta dishes so I passed on the food.  About half the group stopped by for a quick goodbye and didn't stay long -- I wasn't the first party-pooper to leave.  (When you live in an older neighborhood, "nighttime" is subjective LOL.)  Hubby bagged on the night completely.

Painted mirror pickup is now Monday.  She forgot to text me back and then it was too late with Friday rush hour.  Opened the PB mirrors and one is hung.  Waiting on lifting help from the kids for the other.  All 3 mirror pictures soon -- I guess I like mirrors.

Did I mention I'm doing a box of Crest White Strips?  Oh, how I hate them.  Sensitivity, gag worthy gel.  But coffee, tea and red wine mean I get to suffer through 14 days (once or twice a year).  I have 3 left.  Woo hoo!  My teeth aren't naturally super white, but the strips definitely take off the yellow staining.

I'm on the fence about my workout this morning.  I want to run outside to get a good heart rate and sweat going, but my leg is feeling crappy.  Of course, it often feels crappy without running too.  It's going to be a last minute decision once I move around a little.  If not, a quick T Mac Fitness 20 on YouTube -- I boxed yesterday.

Youngest got me a swag shirt from his new company.  Thinking of his mom -- sweet boy.





I'm rambling because, as usual, I'm "nervous" about the trip.  I'd love someone to tell me why this happens every time, every trip -- all my life.  I'm sitting here reminding myself it's 2 hours away, easy drive, with family, etc, etc, etc.  Yet I'm thinking about what-ifs.  What if my monthly is early?  What if I get stomach issues from the Indian food?  What if the basement is filled with spiders?  What if they don't have the a/c on?  What if -- to death.  (And it has me breathing hard over the BIG trip in a couple of weeks -- that the real deal nerves.)

I'll have a good time once I get there ... but the getting there is tough.  I want to crawl back into bed right now -- cancel the trip -- live in my certainty.

Weather update ... 75 in Atlanta, 90 in Chattanooga.  God hates me -- just kidding, but REALY?!?  What are the chances of this luck -- apparently, 100% (!!)  PMS is all over this situation and I'll be complaining all day LOL.  Sorry family.  It's not my fault :)

Oh, I finished The Great Alone (Kristin Hannah).  It read very quickly and was good until the very end.  Worth the read, but the ending was over-the-top, out of place and didn't fit at all with the rest of the book.  Seems like she needed to wrap it up quickly and gave the characters "big" endings.

I've rambled long enough -- got to get rolling.  Have a great weekend.  Back on Monday for a recap, pictures and sleep in my own bed -- can't wait.  Later gators.

Fall Y'all?

If there's ever an overused stenciled phrase in the south ... Fall Y'all is it.

According to all the weather bugs, today should be the last HOT day this year.  This is #91 days of being over 90 degrees.  Heading to 96 degrees today.  Is summer over?

I can barely contain my excitement -- even though I'm heading to Chattanooga where the cool front isn't coming until Sunday.

To celebrate, I got a burnt orange on my toes.  PICTURE coming of my FEET (so prepare) ... but the color is fun.  Way out of my usual.  I'll probably get a polish change before our trip, but for now I'm happy with "fall" toes.  I googled trendy fall colors (not planning on orange) because I wanted something new ... guess orange is always good for fall.  Looks more red in the picture.





Yesterday was my "fun" day and while it wasn't a bad day, it wasn't exactly fun.  I was irritated and moody.  I handled it okay and kept working on a better attitude.  Read all about sending out good vibrations the day before and THAT didn't happen yesterday.  Oooops.  Let's try again today.





I started some basic Christmas shopping since I was out and about.  Good to get some ideas rolling.  I also finished DIL birthday present and the hostess gift for my cousin.  Productive shopping day.

DIL: Container Store gift card (she wants some storage stuff for her new apartment) and some travel goodies for our trip.

Hostess Gift:  I got an Eagle Creek nylon backpack for my camping cousin.  One of those that folds up in a little zipper pouch.  Seemed like something up her alley.  They are minimalist when it comes to house stuff and have a lot of food issues -- she'll like it or like the thought LOL.

Pottery Barn and I have made up and I ordered a few things to begin the family room and my bedroom which share a massive BLANK wall.  Pictures when we get things hung.  Everything came yesterday, but I wasn't in the mood to unpack the boxes.  PB packs like nobody's business.  It's Fort Knox to open the boxes.

The painted mirror should be ready today, but I haven't heard back from the painter to confirm.  Might be next week.  Holding my breath it looks good!

Influencers have started "recommending" and I bought a couple things online too.  I'll get pictures, etc. once everything comes.  Say what you will about Instagram ... I get some good ideas from these ladies.

On my list of WANTS is to go to a German restaurant in our town.  It's regionally known and people ask us if we've been now that we live here -- not yet.  Since it's October, we're going next weekend for DIL birthday ... sitting in the beer garden with live German music.  Sounds cool.  I'm curious if it's as good as people say ... not a German beer fan, but the food sounds good.

Tonight is a moving party for our neighbor.  Her realtor lives in the neighborhood and is taking care of the food -- so easy.  Bring your own drink and that's it.  I don't know her well, so I got a card and put some scratch tickets inside.  She's building a house and her stuff will be in storage for a few months -- don't want to add anything to store.  Seemed like a good idea.

It was a shopping day from start to finish.

I've been waking up early again -- around 4 o'clock and can't get back to sleep.  I stay in bed for a bit and then give up.  What happened to 5 o'clock??  That was short lived.  I'll be sleep challenged this weekend though.  I woke up to the thought -- I wonder if my minimalist cousin uses AC?  Ut oh.  Glad it's only one night.

As usual, day before a trip, I start to get wonky.  Worried about little details.  Why do I do this?  Good news is I expect it and sort of ignore it.  Here I go again.

Happy weekend.  I'll even embrace the Fall Y'all if it actually happens.  Later gators.

Prepare yourself ...

... I have a new inspirational quote find on Instagram.  It's from the writer of Ask and It is Given -- super duper woo woo book.  My life coach, Holly sent me a quote and now I'm following and screen "shotting" like crazy.  Every single one is a little, lovely gem -- and guess what? ... it's coming here too LOL.



Coaching call was different than I originally planned.  I was headed for a complaining session so I switched things up to LIMITING BELIEFS.  It was a great conversation.  Here are a few highlights in cliff note form ...

(1)  Happy is the passive state.  Our job is to move OUR clouds to see the sun.  We don't need to make the sun.  This was a big message from a few places last week.  We chatted about the importance of that switch in perspective.  Limiting Belief:  I have to work at being happy.

(2)  I keep calling "this" work HARD and I'm sending a message to my subconscious.  I use this word constantly.  Switching to "THIS takes a different energy to accomplish."  Limiting Belief:  In order to deserve to be happy, I need to put in hard work first.

(3)  I'm not a variety person.  I had a number of "mirrors" this week that showed me I am a variety person.  It's not a passive state for me and I have a big foundation of CERTAINTY, but I do variety in my own way.  Limiting Belief:  I wish I were a variety person.

(4) I drive the bus of personal growth alone.  I don't have any friends who relate.  I also had a few messages that this is not true.  Limiting Belief:  Every friend must bring everything to the table.

(5)  I'm RESISTING making some of these changes.  Foot on the gas and the break at the same time.  I don't have a life plan AFTER I work on these changes, so I'm scared to move forward.  Will there be anything waiting for me?  Where will my focus be?  Limiting Belief:  I have to see the entire path of my life to be sure I'm heading in the right direction.

(6)  Limiting Belief:  Life must be hard to prove you are on the right path.  See QUOTE ABOVE.

I renewed another session with Holly :)

Tai Chi class yesterday.  Horrible time "settling" myself into the meditations.  My mind was going and going.  Good news is my class package expiration was extended so I'll go a few more times.

Today is a fun day.  Taking the quote to heart.  Allowing some of the "other energy" to fill up -- that means a little break from learning, reading -- pressure to "grow."

I have a pedicure (my toes are a hot mess), lunch by myself and shopping for hostess gift for this weekend (and a few errands).  Keeping things lighthearted today.




Gems (!!) LOL

Have a great day.  Later gators.

Ahhhh ... that's better.

I don't know where my bitch session came from yesterday, but I feel better this morning :)




Lunch was SO GOOD at a new little place near me.  Decor, food, service.  Loved it all.  Definitely a repeat customer.  I had a shredded salad -- everything was shredded.  It was all the hard crunchy stuff that ended up easy to eat (kale, brussels sprouts, quinoa).  Why don't more restaurants do this?  Makes a great salad -- like a coleslaw, but better.

Lecture with Christian Flèche was interesting.  The introduction was in Spanish and the lecture was in French with an English translator.  International night.  It took a minute to feel a rhythm since he paused after every sentence for the translator, but like subtitles, you get used to it.  I'd be interested in reading more about the work of bio-mapping.  I'll see what I can find.  Last time I looked, I found only French options.  The books at the event were all in Spanish or French.  It's complicated -- best go to the source.  I'll do it little justice.  Body-mind-disease connection.

I'm reading The Universe Has Your Back (Gabrielle Bernstein) still -- chapter a day.  It's good.  The kind of message I'm in the mood to hear.

Both this book, lecture last night and The Course in Miracles class say the same thing -- happiness IS the default.  Pain, stress, etc is not.  The Universe wants you to be happy, designed you to be happy.  Our job isn't to figure out how to be happy (Universe already did that) -- our job is to clear the garbage so the happy can shine through.  I like thinking that way.  Like the idea that HAPPY isn't greedy or indulgent.

I'm also reading The Great Alone (Kristin Hannah).  Only a few chapters in, but I like it.  That's my bedtime read.  The Universe Has Your Back is too heavy for sleepy reading.

On recommendation from a person in the Miracles class, I bought A Course In Miracles Made Easy (Alan Cohen).  She said it's a good starting point to get an understanding of the text (which is crazy complicated).  I checked out his website and he has a free webinar monthly -- starts in October.  Don't need to watch it live, so I signed up.

Our neighborhood started a new craft group.  Crafting and I have a tricky relationship, but this is pay $10 and they supply everything.  Sounds fun actually.  First one is candle making.  I want to be social in the neighborhood, but I want something I'll actually enjoy.  The peeps running it are not the gals from bookclub -- so maybe this is a lighthearted group -- and "the mayor" will be on the sidelines.

Full day today, but everything is EARLY.  Yea!!  Coaching call -- not sure what direction this is heading.  I had some thoughts, but it feels more like complaining than helpful now.   Tai Chi class at lunchtime.  Still trying to get an extension on my class package.  Not sure how often I'll go once I need to pay again.

Fainting Goat Vineyards posted the group picture.




Heading for an outside run.  Bad scheduling on my part -- up late, up early, trash pick-up while I run AND have to be ready for cleaning crew first thing.  Later gators.

October (!!)

October.  In case Atlanta forgot and still thinks it's August (3 of this days this week are already hotter than originally forecasted -- HIGH 90s now).

I have an evening event at the Unity Church tonight.  Christian Flèche -- a French neurolinguistic specialist.  Body-mind connection, specifically illness and mind connection.  I'm going alone -- of course lol.  No one in my circle was interested.  It sold out last year -- he's quite a pioneer and a rockstar in his field (apparently).

This brings me to some thinking.  Remember that endurance problem I'm having -- pushing forward with (what feels like) EVERYTHING?  Not only do I have no one who is interested in going, I have people discouraging me to go -- double whammy.  Hubby doesn't think it's "safe" to go alone at night -- what??  Friends say it sounds strange -- why am I going?

This is happening with some boundary stuff too.  I think I've finally held a boundary, made some progress and, then it's like it never happened.  Back to square one.  People must not believe I'm serious or think if they push a bit I'll change my mind?!?  They give me reasons why I should feel differently, do differently.  Negotiate and negotiate.

No wonder my mental endurance feels low.  I don't have SUPPORT and I have RESISTANCE.  I know ... don't pick up what people are throwing down.  Ignore and do my thing.  It's harder than it sounds though.  Especially when it's coming from so many directions.

My circle doesn't want me to change.  Why would they?  I always say 'yes' to the rescue group -- 'no' isn't the right answer.  Things like this.

Weight loss programs talk about the resistance you can get from those closest to you who don't want you to change.  It threatens them.  Threatens the relationship.  I never had that when I lost the weight.

I'm having it with this "change" though.

I'm not the same and my peeps aren't super happy.  They accept it temporarily, but then they've had enough.  Be the same person.

It's tough.  I don't want to be snotty, defensive, etc., but I'm rapidly loosing patience.  These are things that are only about me -- I compromise joint things.  This isn't the ME-ONLY channel, but the things that are ME-ONLY are my choice.

I think I'll chat with my life coach about this tomorrow.  See if she has some suggestions.  Maybe time and persistence is the only solution.  I need to figure out how push forward without getting pissy.  I'm feeling a bit pissy.  If you don't want to go to see Christian Flèche, no problem.  Don't discourage me to go though.  That isn't cool.

Well, anyway ...

Tried a new lunch place with a friend yesterday.  Super cute.  Food was just okay, so not adding to my regular list, but it's an option for a coffee place.

My bff never called yesterday -- she got caught up in work stuff.  Super glad I didn't change up my morning.

Today is another new restaurant with another friend and then the Unity event tonight.

As predicted my calendar is filling -- holding hard for space.

Our neighbor is moving and the neighborhood is having a surprise party (how can I say no to that) -- she's such a nice lady who lost her husband last year.  It's too sad to stay here.  We want to go and wish her well.  It's the night before my trip this weekend.  I was planning an early bedtime so I'm rested for a busy weekend.  Now that's not an option.

I'm feeling stressed about not having enough ALONE time.  Coming off the last week, I need a big helping of nothing (all by myself).  Since it's not happening as much as I planned, I'm eating that frustration.  At least I did last night.  That's a big no-no.  Feeling out of control with my day, eat that control.  Dang.  I'll do better today.

BTW ... pants STILL don't fit.  Pictures still feel depressing.  That's a story for another day.  Ugh and double ugh.

Time to get moving.  Debbie downer post today -- kind of unexpected.  Later gators.