Today's the Day

Today is the chai-making class at the charity I support. We had 11 people. Cancels took it to 6. I invited 5 more with 2 yeses. 

Eight people should show up today. Will they? Won't they? Trying to accept it'll be whatever it's supposed to be and that will be enough.

Here's the thing. I like organizing activities. I like thinking up ideas, planning, etc. The work is fun. Priya Parker's class on being a host was one of the best courses I've taken. I don't want to stop ... and, yet ...

The lack of commitment is beyond frustrating across all groups of people I know. I don't remember it ever being this bad. No problem saying nope, not interested. But enthusiastic yeses and then, essentially, "I need to wash my hair" excuses for last minute backing out. 

It's part of the reason I started doing more one-on-one things in recent years, but turns out, it's not better. I used to think people dropped from group events because they thought other people will show up so they don't need to hold the commitment. Turns out they cancel regardless. 

I think today will be good. So will it have been worth the frustration? Is it that important to get people together in groups? I must think so because I keep going back for more. 

I fight the urge to say zero tolerance for this kind of cancelation -- is that too strict and bitter? Do this once and I don't invite you again. Obviously, there are legitimate reasons to cancel, but rarely does someone proactively let me know. They usually wait until I send a text "see you tomorrow" and then, oh ... blah, blah. Apologies are few and far between.

The last decade there's been rhetoric about not apologizing and taking care to do what works for you. If the day is too much, don't go to that thing in the evening. You deserve to put yourself first. Not untrue, but it's gone too far and been interpreted in a selfish way. There is another part to a commitment that's forgotten -- other people and that counts for something. 

It's also interesting that the same people who don't hold commitments to others, often don't to themselves either. That goal they talk about -- not happening. The project they want to start -- still waiting. 

Okay, enough for this morning. As you know, I can complain about this FOREVER and I get worked up right before an event over the dropouts. 

I'll update tomorrow. Hopefully, after a fun day.

Later gators.