Eeeek, A Rant

Welcome to a rant. 

It's been a minute.

But I'm having a rant moment this morning. 

Hello, bookclub. Let's start with you. 

Crickets on responses for tomorrow so I texted the group earlier in the week.

Lots of "oh, sorry, change of plans" or "I'm now a maybe" which is the chicken version of 'no.' 

Pet-peeve: Why do I need to reach out to YOU?!? If you can't come now, say something.

But 2 people said yes. Okay, I'll put in the work. And I did. Figured out the trail, the parking, the instructions, the timing. 

BTW, I let the group know this -- I will figure this out during the week and text back with details. I explained the situation. Let them know this was an effort on my part.

(On the upside, I'm now oriented enough to be able to instruct someone to meet on the path -- it's confusing where to park and how to meet. And Duke and I had a nice morning walk.)

I sent the text yesterday with all the details and pictures to help, etc. Well done, ME. 

And one of the 2 people backed out. She doesn't want to walk in the heat with her tendency for migraines. 

I totally understand, but WHY was this a last minute revelation? 

The forecast hasn't changed.

When I sent the text earlier in the week, I said it was going to be a HOT day.

Hello.

This leaves exactly ONE person (the person who is notorious for canceling at the very, very last minute). 

So I texted, let's cancel. She responded, let's just do the brunch. 

Okay -- anyone in? What time? 

CRICKETS.

Not one response, including her. 

It's rude. Really rude. 

Now the life-coached part of me will say this is my doing. 

No one forced me to do the work, etc. 

I could have tapped out at any point. 

All true AND it's ridiculously frustrating.

Now let's talk FAMILY BIRTHDAY.

Sent a text a couple of weeks ago. 

Does this day work to celebrate? This Sunday.

Got a response from one person, my DIL ... and crickets from the rest.

She's married to the birthday boy, so I took that as a go-ahead to plan Sunday.

I texted again last week with an idea of HOW to celebrate. 

Very interesting indoor mini-golf that I had a chance to play.

They open early, serve food. Not weather dependent. 

Won't be crowded Sunday at 11 o'clock.

Happy that I had this idea.

Works for all of us -- including my grandson.

My DIL responded again -- sounds fun. No one else responded.

I texted the birthday boy last night.

Let's do something else, he says.

Okay, what? 

I don't know, you decide.

But I already decided.

Put it out to the family text again. We're gathering on Sunday to celebrate. Something outside. Details to come. Who's in and what time works for everyone?

Crickets. 

Family May Day Weekend.

You guessed it. Same.

Please do all the work, but we won't respond or make a decision in advance to give you time to organize. 

All we'll do is veto ideas and timing, etc.

Hike group trip to Asheville.

We want to do this.

Let's do this.

Hey, you plan it since you know Asheville so well.

(Even though one woman grew up in Asheville and 2 people have family there.)

Throw out dates.

I did. Crickets. One 'maybe' who texted yesterday since no one else responded, she doesn't want to take time away from her pickleball and hiking -- TWO MONTHS from now. (This is "that" person, so I'm not at all disappointed.)

THIS I tapped out of -- dead in the water. I won't ask, plan again. If someone else takes the reins, I'll be happy to go, but I've had enough. 

Damn this theme AGAIN (!!)

Wondering if there's a lesson in it for me?

Is this a nudge to do things differently?

Or is this just part of a wide life?

When this pattern hits, I want to be cynical and pull out of everything. 

Screw you all.

I'll go do things by myself and be very content.

Reminding myself to only agree to what works for me. 

(Which sounds selfish, but when I'm the one doing the lifting, I get to make that choice.) 

I had no faith in bookclub this month. People like the IDEA of physical activity, but it's what gets canceled the most. The weather. They're tired. Their knee is bothering them. It takes too much time. Many people don't actually enjoy it. It's more of an inspirational idea to them.

I knew this. I felt this in my bones. 

Especially with this group, most of whom aren't very active.

AND I agreed to it. 

AND I made the effort anyway.

That's on me.

But I wanted to be a team player. Not just my ideas. 

Maybe a perspective is to be proud of myself for showing up the way I want to show up. I kept up my side of the deal. And now I need to make a choice about tomorrow. If I don't hear from anyone by the end of my Friday coffee meeting, I'm going to make a decision that works for me, and if people join, fine. 

Okay, I like this idea. Maybe I won't wait until that late. Maybe I'll text them all early because that's what works for me. 

I DO have a good day planned today so this mood shall pass. Sometimes I think the mood is telling me I need to do something different. In this case, be finished compromising. I've compromised enough.

Have a good day and hopefully a good start to the weekend. Later gators.