Just Need Practice

There's a concept that has helped me a lot in the last few months.  We've all heard it before, but I listened to a podcast that took it to a new level.

We know that doing a new skill is hard because we aren't practiced at it at first.  But what about other things?  Things that we think are just who we are or simply what we prefer, but it's really about what we've practiced into a preference.

Some examples:

I don't like vegetables for breakfast.

I need coffee to wake me up.

I'm an introvert.

I can't meditate.

I can't style my hair well.

I need wine to relax at night.

I'm uncomfortable in social settings.

I don't like the beach.

Now, it's not about debunking all preferences or all "who I am" statements, just the ones you wish you could change.  So many of these statements are practiced behaviors that are reinforced by thoughts, feelings and society.

This podcast (and I can't remember which one -- I wish I could because I'd listen again) says we try for a minute to change something like above and it feels uncomfortable and hard, so we label it as WHO WE ARE and move on.  

If you've never eaten vegetables for breakfast your entire life, one week of trying them might not be enough to PRACTICE a new way.  This was a big part of Whole30 -- adjusting to breakfast veggies.  Now I can't imagine breakfast without vegetables.  There were mornings I actually gagged trying to get my veggies swallowed.  Practicing something I WANTED changed my preference dramatically.

This brings me to NOW and why I'm writing about this -- I'm suddenly BUSY.  Like really pre-pandemic busy.  I have a limited belief that being busy isn't fun because all my life busy meant WORK.  Now I'm busy with enjoyable things, but my brain keeps saying this is horrible.

The truth is, I'm not practiced at being busy with FUN THINGS and managing my normal life.  Fun things become work.  Work things take priority.  

Reminding myself to enjoy the process and that all I need to change this belief is more practice, helps me continue in the way I want to continue.  (That's the big disclaimer -- if I didn't wish for different, there would be no need to change it.)

Here's the kind of stuff that's on the calendar this month and I wake up thinking that no good will come of this -- not true though.

Making my little veggie garden (growing season is starting).

Setting up for the Welcome Event for the wedding.

The Wedding.

Practicing my hair.

Compiling videos for those who aren't at the wedding.

Registering for waitlist for vaccine.  

Volunteering to administer vaccine (online testing, background check, etc).

Painting 2 old pieces of furniture for the new house.

Watching grand-dogs.

The new house (list 10 deep of things to do).

Running and training Duke so he can handle Asheville.

Visiting the daffodils at Gibbs that I've wanted to do for years (only this month).

Finding time to clean my house.

Finding time to cook plant based meals.

Add that allergies are acting up, hormones are a mess, my back is wonky -- STRESS (!!)

I'm focusing on remembering it takes time to undo a belief that's held for decades.  It's possible with practice and a different mindset around what this means.

I'm getting plenty of rest.  Nothing is frantic.  Take a breath and practice adding a lot of fun with my normal life.

Right now, it's uncomfortable and feels hard.  But I want to be able to do both.  Things might require problem solving to tweak what I'm doing and how I'm doing it, but it can all be done and be ENJOYED. 

Does any of this make sense?  

I woke up with panicked thoughts in the middle of the night and I need to recenter over and over.  Enjoy the process.  Just need practice.  Stop telling myself this is awful and hard and impossible.  Get curious about making a change.  Being curious is fun.  Being curious isn't a pressure cooker of perfection.

I'm trying :)

Have a happy day and stay well.