Fun??

Bare with me ... it's a ramble ...

I've been actively working on myself for about 4 or 5 years.  Remember My Happiness Project a few years ago -- it was all about having FUN.  And I did for the entire year.  Big, little, etc. and it was amazing. 

Then the fun wasn't as fun and I felt lost again.  So I pivoted the other way -- spiritual growth.  Fun was for rookies.  It was about all IMPORTANT work, inside work, be a better person.

Then that lost its magic and felt hard and boring and obnoxiously self-righteous. 

Of course, the answer was I need both in a balance (sometimes OBVIOUS takes me years to figure out for myself).

Anyway ...

That brings me to my need for FUN.  I'm working hard on the inside stuff in this hard world, but fun is all but gone.  I'm out of balance.  Since this pandemic has some legs and I think 2020 is a wash, I need to find my way to having fun during this strange time.

The good news is FUN is very subjective and very odd things count toward my fun quota.  A new mug.  A new nail polish color.  A different workout song.

The bad news is what is also fun is wine, cake, cheese ... fun AND easy AND ultimately with not-fun consequences.  

My big, usual fun stuff (for a hardy fun fix) can't happen during a pandemic.  Massage, nails, seminars, book tour speakers, gatherings with friends, etc.  My other go-to is physical activity -- hike, trail run, walk listening to podcasts, etc.  My heel is taking me out of these options too.

Yet, there is one area of "fun" that I can control and it brings me a lot of good feels.  Can you guess it?  It's the one thing I'm fighting hard and I know it the one area that I can still find a lot of FUN feeling.  

FITTING INTO MY PANTS (!!)

This might seem super duper superficial, but hear me out.  I feel good when I feel good.  I enjoy wearing ALL my clothes, getting dressed when everything fits and anything is an option.  I like wearing fun PJs to bed, cute exercise clothes.  This is a huge GOOD, FUN feeling producer.

It's not about comparison to others or fitting into a smallest size.  I've spent a lifetime knowing myself and I know when my body feels well -- energized, strong, comfortable.  I'm never really thin (by standards today), but it's a size that I know works for me.

I've been bummed about feeling like I have very few FUN options these days.  Cursing the pandemic (and those abusing the rules), cursing my heel injury.  Telling myself the only option left is cake and wine and cheese -- it is a pandemic, after all.  What choice do I have?!!?

I'm ignoring the obvious because I don't want to DO THE WORK to get back to that place.  Ugh.  But it's my best option to do well in 2020.

So this long ramble to say my path to FUN is through better eating.  I'm not going to talk about what that looks like because I've talked that to death.  I know what to do.  Nothing drastic, just stop stuffing my face with junk all evening.  

I have no idea if this makes sense outside of my brain, but there you have it ... my FUN plan.  Fit back into my pants and maybe even The Green Dress.

I'll leave today with a funny ...  stay well.  Later gators.