I've been MIA for reasons of DOGS and CONTRACTORS. One I love, one I don't. This was suppose to be a contractor free week, but the plumber installed a faulty toilet pump and our master bath toilet is out of commission. I'll call this morning -- discovered at 5:24 on Friday (24 minutes too late).
It's BIRTHDAY WEEK. My last few days of my 40s before the BIG day on Thursday.
It's lack luster and a bit of a downer -- of course. Why? Pandemic. Why? I did NOTHING about my pants not fitting. New goal ... first 2 months of being 50. FIT INTO THE GREEN DRESS. I see the eye rolling (me too). But giving up isn't going to help either.
When does this start -- Monday, June 29 (because what life change doesn't start on a Monday and it'll take a few days to finish the fabulous cake).
The "how" remains to be seen. Maybe something more official. Maybe involve my life coach for accountability. I need SOMETHING to hold me accountable.
I'm actually excited about it. Something to look forward to -- the fitting into my clothes, not the actual diet. I know what people say -- diets don't work. Well, diets work for me to lose the weight, then the "regular" healthy habits hold me. I'm not patient enough -- I need results to keep me going when I'm this far off track, hence an actual diet. Diet = rules. Diet isn't starving myself with weird things.
I'm also focusing on THIS goal because I think my birthday has potential to be a disappointment. I usually have no trouble celebrating my birthday MYSELF so I'm never actually disappointed (this came from birthdays that were upsetting when I was younger). I love having MY day exactly as I like it -- pampering, fun, etc. No go this year because I'm not going out. Everything is OPEN in GA, but I don't think it's safe so I don't have the usual fun options and I'll be damned if I can come up with anything besides CAKE.
I know I sound spoiled -- and I am. I have means and time to usually enjoy my birthday.
The other possibility of disappointment comes in the form of my family not doing anything special. Maybe I'm wrong (I really, really, really hope I'm wrong). Looks like they are picking up take-out. No gifts (ring from hubby will be later this year and the kids can't decide what to get me). I'll have leftover cake from Thursday for Saturday. That's it.
I can think of many little things that would make me happy for a quarantine BIG birthday. I don't think they'll do anything extra though. Decorations. Fun, silly gifts. Special beverage. Birthday game. Birthday movie night. Lawn sign celebration. Video call surprise with extended family.
I could be wrong, but I don't think I am wrong AND it will upset me. I've tried super hard to make everyone else's "missed" celebrations a little special. This is a big birthday (or I wouldn't have any expectations) and everything is CANCELED.
Directly asking for these things defeats the joy in them. I've said, over and over, how important it is to try and make all of our disappointments a little bit better by thinking outside the box. And that's what I've done for the family. Will they do that for me too?
Maybe I'm wrong. I keep coming up with that thought. Don't get upset ahead of anything. Maybe there are some nice surprises in the works.
Oh, and it's PMS week. Extra potential for HIGH emotions -- not the good kind either.
Stay tuned ... LOL.
Stay well. Later gators.
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