Wednesday, April 18, 2018

Grumpy Wednesday

I have a (milder) case of the grumpies today.  Lordy knows it can't be as bad as it was last week!

I'm not in the mood for a lot of my stuff this week.  I don't want to go to the Releash happy hour fundraiser tonight.  I don't want to prepare all the stuff for GNI tomorrow.  I don't want to prep and cook this BIG fancy birthday dinner.  The only thing I'm in the mood for is my running race with Duke LOL.

I have a number of little annoyances that hit me all at once yesterday.  It's all little stuff, but a lot of little stuff.  I'm barely balancing on some fragile ground trying to get back to the BETTER ME that I was last year.  One tiny step forward and then ... bam ... pushed back again.  The details are fussy and long - and, ultimately, not really important.

The general theme of these annoyances are that I've lost ME time -- self-care time.  I carved out some time this week and it's all disappeared - like magic.  Someone needs something from me again and again.  It's frustrating.

All little stuff from many people, so I look like a big-old-witch saying no.  But, all that little combines to an overall big mess of the week.

When I can't find my peace, my space, I turn to food to fill the need.  And, of course, it doesn't fill the need, but I do it anyway.  So here I am ... no ME time, no space ... 4 big social eating events looming.  Can I hold on?  Survey says ... I don't know.

BUT ... grumpy ME from last week sent a warning to future ME (thanks journalling) that if I give into this, I will give up and today (and this week) will SUCK.

So my goal for today is to find that ME time again.  It needs to be the HIGHEST priority this week.  

Yesterday, I re-listened to a CD of Jim Rohn while I was on the long drive to the vet (PS Ellie is doing well, but will still be with us for another month - more on that later).  That's the stuff I DID, but STOPPED doing.  Those things matter and it adds up (in a positive way).

I'm going to do some thinking, take some action and find some ME time that I need.  My goal is to report SUCCESS tomorrow!!  Later gators!

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