I think (hope, pray, knock-wood, cross fingers) I finally have my focus, my muse so to speak. Usually, that's someone who inspires me, is walking the walk, who is making the hard(er) choices, etc, etc, etc. It might be a friend, a neighbor, an on-line peep, an Intragrammer, a success book I read, a forum ... really, anyone.
Now, don't hate me. This is not my usual M.O.
This time my muse is a person who is NOT walking the walk, who is using excuses, who is using justifications. Why? Because I don't want to be HER. And I so easily can become her (and I was her for a few years and 70+ lbs later). I don't want this for her, but seeing MY struggles through her choices is eye opening. I'm a mini-her.
It's glaringly obvious where she is failing herself and her goal. I'm shocked she doesn't see it. I'm shocked she doesn't REALLY try to change it. Put in some work. Some effort. She talks the talk, but NO ACTION. Complains, wishes, agonizes and does NOTHING. Why does this sound familiar?!?
THIS IS ME TOO!! I know what to do. I know how to do it. I know why. I know my excuses. I know my weak points. Yet, here I am. Doing the wrong things. Making excuses. Putting in very little effort.
Yesterday was a test of my healthy habits. I used my muse to keep me grounded. The question to myself ... am I okay being her? It kept me on track and on focus. That's not who I am. That's not who I want to become (again).
I hope she finds her path. We talked, a lot. I tried to help and encourage, etc. Tell her my issues. What I learned. She's not ready to hear it. I don't take pleasure in her situation. This isn't an I'm-better-than-her-moment. But it struck a chord with me - reflection in a mirror. So for now, she is my muse. Maybe, someday we can be each other's inspiration as we walk a better walk.
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