New Stuff -- What do you think?

New rug from Costco
$50 -- 5 x 7
Can't beat the price.
Side door of the house so no one really sees it.

Table from West Elm.
Midcentury modern.
Not my usual style, but we needed
small and simple for front entrance.
(Gift bag for GNI -- still need to decorate it)

Sale runner from PB.
It might be too small.
Still thinking about it.
Maybe for basement hallway.

"Fur" pillow from Costco.
$19.  Doesn't shed. Dog not included.

Target "fur" pillow.
Fun - trying to add textures.
Also, no shedding.

In process is a wall mirror and a round rug.  I'm looking for an off-sized door rug for the front door.  That might have to be custom-bound.  Plantation shutters are getting installed on Wednesday -- that will change the room look and we can do more wall hanging.  We're set to order an electric shade for our bedroom and a decorative shade for the back door too.  Still waiting on outdoor shades for the deck to see if we actually need them.

GNI group was fun -- it went late.  The new furniture gave everyone a comfortable place to sit and people stayed.  With my bar set super low, it ended up being a nicer time than I expected.  Still happy it's finished :)

This morning I'm on dog duty while hubby has 2 Skype interviews.  I have my call with my coaching partner late morning and this afternoon I'm meeting a friend to go antique shopping (looking).  And that's a wrap of the day.  Easy and, hopefully, early to bed.  Late night + up early with dogs = dreaming of bed already.

Later gators.

Girls-Night-In (GNI)

I'm hosting the group of ladies from my old neighborhood.  I'm the 6th person to move out, but the group keeps going (for now).  Remember when I was on the fence about staying in the group?  Hosting this month gives me a pass to figure that out over the next year (there are 12 of us in the group -- host once a year -- heavy MATH!).  Moving could be the reason I get to leave gracefully.  But, as my crazy has it, as soon as I COULD leave, I questioned leaving.

I'm making a "lady's" supper tonight.  Salad bar because we all have restrictions.  Green vegetable salad and all the GOOD stuff on the side.  I made a mustard-honey-paprika grilled chicken last night (Pioneer Woman - so easy and good).  I have cheese, nuts, dried fruit, etc for the side.  Usually, I'll make a salad dressing, but with my weekend recovery still on-going, I decided to buy instead.  I also have a fresh fruit.

I took a short-cut on starters too.  Costco precooked, marinated shrimp (I'll make a sauce) and my favorite cheese presentation.  Blue cheese drizzled with honey and roasted, chopped pecans.  I don't like honey or blue cheese very much, but together it's DELICIOUS.  Easy, pretty and something different than sliced cheddar.  Done.

Dessert is a bag of brownie crips -- no one will eat dessert, but I feel obligated to have something sweet.  Hubby will polish off what's left.

I went to Costco for some good, but cheap white wines.  I don't love Chardonnay, but all the girls do. Costco usually has a helpful wine buyer standing by to help -- Costco for the win on wine ALWAYS!

The "fun" part of the night is a repeat from the first one I hosted.  Used accessory exchange.  Clean out something from your closet, wrap it and then the draw-the-number game.  Last time everyone left with some cute things.  We all can stand a closet, jewelry clean out.   It requires no shopping or spending money -- you should also try to reuse a gift bag (we all have them).  The girlfriend who gave me the idea, did hers like a shopping experience.  Bring 5 things, take 5 things, for example.  She arranged tables with "like" things and you shopped the tables.  That's fun, but tons more work.  I simplified it.

My heart was NEVER into this night so I'm trying to slip by as easily as possible.  Even with everything easy, it's still a lot of set-up.

We are watching our grand-dogs for 5 days.  Hubby is taking them to their apartment while the party is going.  The little one will be too stressed with everyone here.

I got some new house things.  I'll post about that tomorrow.  Later gators.

Some Boring, Random Updates

We started watching the second season of Imposters (Netflix) and it's boring so far.  Dang.  We really liked the first season.

Since we have Hulu Live and it's impossible to find things to watch (I miss TiVo), we started another "recommended" Netflix watch -- What If.  So far, it's interesting.  Renee Zellweger looks totally different.  She's denied having "work" done (just healthy lifestyle), but no way.  If it weren't for her voice and some mouth expressions, I wouldn't have recognized her -- looks good though.

I had plans to meet up with my aunt and a foster dog (who adopted to her SIL) for a walk and lunch, but she had to postpone.  Probably better for my foot.

GNI tomorrow, so I'm grocery shopping and prepping today.  I'm doing a couple of starters, salad bar and something simple for dessert (TBD).  Simple, but have to grill chicken, hard boil eggs, etc.

My grand-doggies are coming this afternoon for 5 days.  I love having them, but the little one needs a diaper and it's a pain!  I want some downtime from fussing about everything.

Cleaning is finished.  It's so much work doing floors -- but they look GOOD!

That is all the boring news from here.  Happy Hump Day folks -- this week is moving quickly.

Rested and Renewed (a bit)

Well, finally, brace yourself for some POSITIVITY.

Today feels like a fresh-ish start -- here's the scoop.

Cayenne's foster picked her up yesterday and we talked.  I decided to play nice and be vulnerable (thanks, Brene Brown) about how I felt through the experience.  You know the story you tell yourself -- well, I was wrong again.  After we talked I felt better.  She has anxiety and explained why she needed to shut down with me (because she couldn't imagine being in my shoes -- that thought was too much for her).  Anyway, it was good to get that ironed out.

Best part -- Cayenne started cuddling with my hubby.  Siting on his lap even.  She's never done that and her foster thinks this experience was an important part of her growth in trusting people.  She also said that she hates baths and I was able to give her 3 without a problem.  As hard as this was for us, it might have a silver lining for Cayenne to realize being in a home is GOOD.

Okay, Universe -- I sort of forgive you for putting me through that hell.

Something I didn't mention because I couldn't even talk about it -- how creeped out I was -- running after Cayenne, I got bit by a snake.  My foot hurt, burned, swelled up.  The first day was the worst.  By the end of the weekend, it was just painful at the puncture site and the swelling was almost completely gone.  It was a non-poisonous one (thank the lord above).  I usually am on high alert with all things creepy crawly because I'm chicken-shit about "nature."  Can't wrap my head that this happened.

Mostly gone.
Just sore at the site.

Next positivity moment came from some rescue friends reaching out to me saying they GET IT.  Once she was back, so many people said -- great, now it's over, no more stress.  But it wasn't over that quickly for me.  AFTER the chaos was when it hit me -- my family didn't understand.  But, my fellow rescue people understood.  Takes a village to "raise" me.

Also, terrific neighbors, not only helping to find her, but being so sweet to me.  Of course, it was all about the dog's safety, but it also felt shameful to me.  We've only just met our neighbors -- so many ask about the fostering.  People always compliment it and that's nice.  Here I was, minute one, the most lousy foster on the planet.  Lots of shame and embarrassment.  But, again, as Brene Brown says, being vulnerable is where connection is made.

I had a foster friend reach out this morning.  She doesn't foster for our group much anymore and we've lost some connection -- but she reached out and we're getting together next week to play with her foster.  Deaf, blind puppy she is training - wow.  She was one of the people who GETS it (losing a foster dog).

My bff also reached out and we had a super connection conversation -- about lots of things (not just dogs -- b/c she doesn't like dogs, not mean, of course, but not happy about them either).

Silver linings all over the place.

I needed this.  I needed a village and a tribe and kindness.  Self-care, self-love -- all that woo woo -- it's about going inside to find the magic, but external support is amazing too.  Especially when you aren't able to hold yourself gracefully -- it helps to be understood.

Maybe, I'm put back together today.  I feel better.  I hope I'm back to regular old me with some lesson accessories (and a hurt foot).  Ugh -- does everyone else live this emotional rollercoaster too?  I'm in my late 40s and it seems like I can never learn it enough to feel "stable" or wise or even adult-like.

Time to clean my house.  Even with the bite -- hosting GNI this week and I've have no choice on the timing.  I might not feel like a wise adult, but I can clean my house like a grown-up (hah).  Later gators.

3:30 AM

Cayenne is an EARLY riser.  Also, she had to pee.  This girl held it for 24 hours.  Nervous dogs can hold it up to 2 days without worry.  She had the LONGEST pee squat -- bummer it was at 3:30, but I'm glad she finally went.  She's starting to trust us -- still wants to RUN -- still on maximum security.

It's now about 5:30.  I'm propped up with COFFEE (like 5 cups since it's mostly decaf).  Her foster picks her up at 11 o'clock.

She's not happy with me (for obvious reasons), but I'm not happy with her.  Frankly, she's been nasty -- by phone and on social media.  No help with the situation, annoyed about everything.  Give me a break.  I was doing her a big favor (all boarding was full and she waited until the last minute to ask for help) and this was a freak accident.  It ruined our weekend and cost us a ton of money and she's complaining.  I'm finished apologizing.  Also, she failed to mention a lot of Cayenne's "habits" -- barking, chewing.  The boyfriend told us when he dropped her off.

For as much as she's passive-aggressively blasting me on social media, others are coming to my defense -- directly answering back to her.  Thankful for them.

Kids are coming for an abbreviated, postponed BBQ.  I'm not in the mood to cook, entertain, see grand-dogs.  I want to put my jammies on and go to bed.

This is a full week and I need to get my head on straight.  Tons of "fun" stuff that doesn't feel fun right now.  The only thing that seems fun is BED.

UPDATE:  Cayenne just pooped 4 times on my carpet -- right next to me, also lightening fast.  We were just outside.  All loose - fun times.  She's been holding that too.  You'd think it would been solid, but I guess nerves mess up everything.

On a lighter, less moody note -- we watched the first season of Imposters (Netflix).  (We were stuck at home and stuck to a dog -- got the entire first season finished.)  It started strong and then took a turn which made it seem like it was headed for STUPID land.  BUT, it didn't.  It was funny, corny, twisty and well-acted (after that odd little moment early on).  Worth a sofa watch on a lazy day.  Season 2 is already out -- we're a little late to the game on this one.

Want to see a few cute pictures?  My grand-dogs graduated -- these make me laugh!

Highly trained CHIHUAHUA -- watch out world.

She's so stinking cute!

That is all from HAPPY-LAND this morning.  My goal this week is to GET MY POOP IN A GROUP (shit together -- hah).

Also, we are well aware it's Memorial Day and that perspective is humbling.  Thankful for everyone who sacrificed on the highest level.  I know it's a day to remember those lost, but I think there's nothing wrong with also adding gratitude to ALL who served and sacrificed today.  Even if our focus is on those lost, there's enough to go around for everyone.

Season of Shit

I don't know what personal hell I'm in right now, but, dang -- it's a big one.

We got our temporary foster Saturday morning (instead of Friday -- b/c traffic).  The "boyfriend" dropped her off and we took her inside our fence.  She did well.  Sniffed, met my dogs well, wagged her tail.  Took her inside for 10 minutes and she wanted to go back out again.  Since she hadn't gone potty, I thought it was a good idea.

She's 30lbs -- I was 6 feet from her -- our fence slats are less than 5 inches.  In the most horrible flash, she looked at me, turned around and WENT THROUGH the FENCE.

She's not people socialized.  She only goes to dogs.  She was GONE.

Everything that you expect happened.

Search
Social media
Printed fliers
Posters
Neighborhood email chain
Dog tracker called
Catch and release traps set
Knocking on RURAL HILLBILLY doors (praying I wasn't going to get shot from trespassing)

8 hours later, she came back.

I have cried non-stop since she came back.  I am a mess to end all messes.

So was she -- unrecognizably covered in mud, hungry, thirsty, scratched up, limping.  3 baths later, I stopped trying to get her clean.

This morning she was up at 4:30.  She is TRYING to get out our front door.  The girl wants to GO.  She's now crated or tethered to me on a leash.  We go out in the fenced yard, 2 collars, 2 leashes, 2 people and she only gets to walk near the house.

She's here until tomorrow.  I might collapse by then.

Our rescue took 7 of the 700 dogs.  Five escaped what seemed like secure situations, but all 5 came back -- a few after a couple of days.  They promised she's come back even though she was here less than one hour.  I've never been so glad to be wrong.

THIS dog through THIS fence -- in seconds.
I managed to grab her tail, but she slipped through.

She's no longer freshly groomed and fluffy.

I'm stress EVERYTHING-ING!!!  This was hard -- it's going to take some processing.  I've fallen into the mode that this is a crappy "season" right now.  Karma?  Lessons?  I don't know, but I'm tired.  I got so beaten up from searching for her -- ankle, shoulder.  Today I feel like giving up trying to feel well.  Maybe tomorrow will feel brighter.

The WEEKEND

It's a biggie.  Start of summer and all that good stuff.  We have a few plans -- nothing major.

Firing up the grill because that's the law for Memorial Day weekend.  Steaks, mac+cheese, salad.  Easy.  I'm over the 20 step meals for a little while.  Kids coming with dogs.  Ping pong and corn hole.  Add a few adult beverages and it's a party.

We might also be going for the stereotype and buying a mattress.  It appears our PB order hasn't actually been cancelled -- so a little up in the air on this.  If we can hold out for PB, we can save some $$.  Now that our old mattress is on a bed supporting it, we feel much better sleeping.  It's amazing how much of a difference it made (of course, it's an OLD mattress -- about 13 years old).

Two of the 3 stools came yesterday (strange -- nothing was supposed to come until Tuesday).  I assume the other is on it's way too.  I LOVE them.  Comfortable and cute.

Fit all the criteria.
Sturdy, but not heavy.
Back support, but not too tall.
Place for feet.

Hubby is golfing.  Two peeps canceled on him, but he's still going.  I was supposed to go for coffee with a new neighbor, but her dog got injured so I'm home drinking the usual drinks.  Stood up all around - hah.  Oh well.  I'm totally making the most of my time alone!!

We are supposed to get a temporary foster for the weekend.  I'm going to bitch a bit here -- there're a number of people who volunteer with Releash who FORGET we are ALL volunteers.  They expect so much from a "favor."  This is one of those fosters and I'm not sure how this is going to play out.  I told her I live FAR from her.  She plans to drop the dog in the evening (aka rush hour).  It's about 2 hour (one-way) during rush hour.  I've heard nothing back from her.  She has my address.  Why do I think she's going to say I need to meet her -- on a Friday -- on a holiday weekend?  I've set some boundaries lately regarding "favors."  If I say YES to what is asked, I don't need to say YES to what is added on (at the last minute).  I could be wrong -- hope I'm wrong.  It's now Friday morning and she hasn't reached out about it.  Am I on-call for her tonight??  Not a fan of rude people who justify their rudeness in the name of "I'm so busy."  Okay, rant over.

I'm feeling better physically - yea.  Still working on the head stuff.  I'm not sure what my problem is lately.  Stress from the move that I ignored?  I don't feel like myself.  I'm always "fighting" some feeling -- yet, nothing is actually wrong (that I can figure out).  Guess I need to work on it.  Something must be lurking under the surface.  I'm quick to feel sad.  Quick to take things personally.  Quick to worry about NOTHING.

This conversation took a turn.  See??  I'm moody.  I'll leave it at that -- time to clean (instead of coffee - dang).  Later gators.

A Slow Climb

I was able to run this morning -- first workout that felt normal all week.  I was still working out, but at lower energy or DYING post workout.

Green drink all prepped -- even pre-squeezed the lime, so that was easy this morning.

Rescue calls made.

It's been a productive morning.  Heading to lunch with my main man (only man - hah) and shopping to get him new glasses.

I feel accomplished and good.  Is this the turning point?!?!  Who knows.  Slowly climbing to feeling better.

Interesting thing -- Rachel Hollis just discovered Brooke Castillo.  My worlds collide and only good can come of it.  BC is my FAVORITE ever.  She's so stinking good.  The Life Coach School podcast -- you won't be disappointed.

Later gators.

Hump Day

I'm still not myself, but I'm pushing along.

The "hike" was nice yesterday.  Swimming hole for the dogs and about a 1.5 mile loop in all shade.  Of course, with shade comes spider webs so we looked strangely possessed walking on the trail - hah.



I did ALL the big grocery shop yesterday too.  Car full.  After the unload, I was toast for the night.  Headache, fatigue.  I think I have a little "something" or the heat blasted me from the weekend stuff.

Zeus is adopted.  Yea!!  We're temp-fostering this weekend for a doodle who was part of the 700 dog hoarding case in Georgia (made the national news).  Such a sad situation and the ass got off with a fine only.  I won't share the horror pictures, but a fine was not enough.  This little gal doesn't trust people (can you blame her?), but loves dogs.  She has kind of an "evil" resting face, so not much interest for adoption yet.



Today, I did a long boxing workout.  I need to find a youtube video so I don't have to think up the routines myself.  I have the timer and the music figured out, so it's coming along.  We might need to add another bag of sand.  I must be REALLY strong - lol.

I'm making cold tomato soup today.  I haven't had it in a long time and it's so good for summer.

I also have way too many rescue calls to make, cleaning and more bill paying.  It's Murphy's Law that I pay bills and the next day is the mother-load of more in the mail.  Because we are delayed with some bills still, I have to pay everything the same week -- pain in the bum.  Should be changed over soon.

Nothing on the house.  It's a SUPER slow market.  Dang.

Happy Hump Day -- later gators.

Sofa Slugging

Nothing fabulous to report since I sat on the sofa and watched TV all day (How to Get Away With Murder).

I feel a bit better this morning so I'm back to doing life.

I'm taking Duke for a walk in the woods (sort of hiking) with a new neighbor late morning.  It's going to be hot, but shaded.  I think the trail is only a few miles.  We needed to go later because she has an appointment this morning.  I might regret not switching to another day when we could go earlier.

This afternoon is my car inspection and grocery shopping.  The refrigerator is EMPTY.  That's never good.

Pottery Barn stepped up and is replacing both sofas.  It took some back-and-forth, but we should be on point now.

I'm on the hunt for a new book.  Nothing I'm reading is impressing me.  I'll keep you posted if I find something interesting.

Another blah post day -- kind of how I feel today.  I feel better, but don't feel like doing anything.  Hopefully a workout will help -- it's like PMS DURING my monthly this month.  Got to love hormones.

Until tomorrow ...

Monday with a Vengeance

Not my best day.

I feel like crap.  Yesterday's Releash fundraiser was all afternoon in the DIRECT SUN.  I had my sun-umbrella, but could only use it sometimes.  The logistics were horrible.

I came home and fell apart.  Headache, stomachache, fatigue.  Me, sun and heat do not do well.  Two days of outside stuff was too much for me (especially on my big monthly days).

Today, my goal is indoors as much as possible.  I have MEGA grocery shopping to do and HAD a bunch of paperwork (just finished it).  I'm not working out or dog-walking today.  I still feel yucky.  My stomach and head are not happy -- not even sure I can muster the grocery store.

I watched the most disappointing series ending (GoT) on my laptop in bed last night.  (Pity party in full swing)

Boo-hoo to me.  I'm going to try to get some shopping finished and then SOFA SIT the rest of the day.  I don't want to shower even.  I might see what's left in the refrigerator and go out tomorrow instead.  Actually, that's sounding really good.  I feel like taking a nap -- dang, this is real.  Maybe I'm sick???  I think this is the perfect storm of sun, heat and monthly --- either way, not a good Monday.

Sorry for the Debbie-downer hello.  Only up from here -- fingers crossed.  Later gators.

Hot, Hot, Hot

Summer temperatures are here to stay until about October.  With the heat comes layers of sunscreen and bug spray stick.  I never miss that in the winter.  Joy of joys -- southern fun.

We spent the day outside yesterday pouring wine for the city folk at fun festival.  Releash Atlanta gets the tip money and we were asked to help volunteer.  It's so much fun.  The pour station was shaded and the wines were on ice so WIN and WIN for us.

Hubby doing his thing.

Dog tent.

Up for adoption (dog, not hubby)

Before the fundraiser, we dropped Zeus off for a trial adoption.  Waiting to see how he does as an only dog while they are at work.  Fingers crossed.

Happy!!

Today is another fundraiser for Releash Atlanta.  I'm "running" our table.  Kids Boost -- an organization that helps kids create a fundraising event for their favorite charity.  Releash Atlanta is the beneficiary.  It's going to be a HOT day again.

And, of course, the END of Game of Thrones.  Epic night.  I can't wait!!

Here's some random stuff:

I've been cleaning our stainless steel appliances with regular cleaner (as I always do) and our dishwasher became massively discolored.  I thought it was defective -- looked like silver when it tarnishes.  I tried all the internet solutions and nothing worked.  Thankfully, I bought stainless steel cleaner and it fixed it.  I wonder why JUST the dishwasher did that???  I'm using that cleaner for all the appliances now.  Phew -- I was bummed it might need to be replaced.

I'll sign off here, but if you want to continue reading, it's a TMI below :-)  Later gators.

*TMI alert* 
And this is not a test TMI ... it's a biggie, but I feel it's worth mentioning.  Read at your own risk ladies.

I had been on a streak of having my heavy monthly day on a day that is not convenient for bathroom breaks.  I heard about the menstrual cup about (maybe) six months ago and was instantly grossed out.   When I mentioned it to my girlfriends (because they needed to be grossed out too), they knew someone who uses it and loves it.  Really??

Still grossed out, but I ordered a set of 2 -- both sizes because how do I know which size?!?  I tried the large and NOPE -- uncomfortable and horrible.  I gave up.  It was on my list to try again, but then I had a few months when I didn't NEED to use it and I couldn't force myself to try it.

Yesterday, I needed it.  Heavy day, few bathroom breaks, yucky bathrooms, gone all day.  I tried the small size (much better fit).  It takes a minute to figure out the best way to insert it and they you're instantly concerned about removing it.

You know what??  It worked.  9 hours.  I had multiple potty breaks in yucky bathrooms and didn't need to do anything with it.  No leaks, no fuss.  After about an hour, I couldn't even tell it it was in there.  Easy to remove.  Dang.  I'm a believer.  I'm still totally grossed out by it, but it's a game changer until menopause (hah).  There're lots of brands and actual tutorials on how to use it and figure out sizing.  Who knew?
*TMI over*

The Weekend

I'm tired this morning -- late night, early morning.

BUT .... drumroll ... I stuck to my W30 and I'm happy.  There was a little moment when I thought I might have a drink, but I'm glad I didn't.  It looked like we were going to be early (restaurant opened at 5:30) and my girlfriend suggested a fun bar to get a drink.  Ut oh.  What to do?!?!  Traffic took care of that and we weren't early and no drink dilemma.

I can say NO and do (eat, drink) exactly what I want, but I also want to be "normal" socially.  Refuse a drink at a bar and a couple weeks later, drink whatever.  That's strange to me.  I had an iced tea at dinner -- no problem and no pressure for the meal.

Jen Hatmaker and Kelly Corrigan.  Both excellent story tellers and they're FUNNY.  We did a lot of laughing and learning.  It was a super night.

I have a full day today.  Lot of little things to "handle" -- black clouds produced fires.  It seems to be clearing out, but stuff leftover on my plate that's no fun.  Also, hair day -- that takes a few hours.  Zeus is meeting a couple this afternoon and I'm a little on the fence that he'll be okay without another dog.  I get nervous about adoptions.

My girlfriend and I had some awesome conversations -- always do.  We talked a lot about resilience and sticking to things that work.  And, why that's do dang hard.  We are both getting-back-to-it after being thrown off AGAIN.  Misery loves company??  Just kidding - it's a nice support to bounce things off each other.  Our getting-back-at-it looks different, but the concept is the same.

Happy Weekend -- the heat got turned back up in Atlanta, just in time for me to be outside all weekend at fundraisers.  Welcome to summer (and me bitching about the heat).  Later gators.

Jen Hatmaker

Tonight is Jen Hatmaker's Tell Me More tour in downtown Atlanta.

I'm excited for a few reasons.

1.  Jen is an incredible speaker.  If you ever get a chance to hear her live, she will make you laugh, make you cry (or at least get a little choked-up) and make you think.  After you hear her, you'll want to be a better person.  She's the real deal.

2.  My girlfriend is doing the driving.  She LIKES to drive downtown.  Weirdo (hah) who I'm so grateful to know because I don't like to drive downtown.  I will, but with white knuckles.  She's a great friend in every way and I can add driving to the list too!!

3.  We are leaving early and getting dinner from a "hip" restaurant (Two Urban Licks).  I already looked at the menu and am keeping on plan.

Before the evening out, I have a nail appointment to take off the SNS (powder) and do a break with regular nail polish.  The worst part is having to let the nail polish dry.  The break makes my nails happy.  I'm not blessed with great nails, so I need to take extra precautions.  No pedicure because of my foot cut -- bummer, I need that too.

I also have a call with my accountability partner.  Yea.  Fun to catch up and 4 weeks until Rachel Hollis. (P.S. Jen Hatmaker is coming to RISE too -- she's the reason RH got her "big break."  I didn't know that until I started listening to RH.)

Floor washing will have to wait today because I'm sore from the fall yesterday.  No reason to push it -- tomorrow or even Monday is fine.  The cut on the top of my foot is big and ugly.  Since I mop on my knees -- no good.  Our new canister floor vacuum handles the dust really well -- floors look fine.

I'm a busy beaver until Monday.  Lots of Releash stuff happening too.  Busy is good, but I'm already looking forward to a quiet Monday.  I'm a homebody.  I didn't set out to have such full social days, but it worked out that way -- quiet Monday is a must.  I'm trying to find my equilibrium again.

Netflix Update:
Finished season 1 of Dead to Me.  Wow.  LOVED it!
Call the Midwife just released its next season.
Finished VEEP.  That was an incredible show. (Oooops, that's HBO)

Whole30 is going well.  Technically it's not an official W30 because I'm not paying attention to the micro stuff.  My joints feel a bit better, my sleep (i.e. waking up) is better and I'm peeing like crazy (all the water retention because WINE).  I have wicked cravings at night (filling up the urge book), but I need to get back to feeling my best (or at least better).

Pictures finally posted yesterday -- more to come when I start decorating.  Later gators.

Pictures

In no particular order (as usual).

Rug added.
Table runner ordered.
Plants STILL ALIVE!!

Two sofas.
Still need pillows and such.
Looking for a large SQUARE coffee table in leather.

I'm really happy with the rug.
Perfect neutral.

On my phone today.
Made me laugh.
Since the apple watch updated, I'm getting strange messages.
I need to change the settings :-)

Big wall to decorate.
It's going to be a challenge.
We moved the chairs closer after I took the picture.

Cute as buttons.

Chillin' on the deck.

New dresser.
I like the curved front.

Need a lot of stuff.
New mattress.
New bedding.
New lamps.
Something on the wall.
Maybe a flat rug under the bed area.
At least we are off the FLOOR!

Give and Take

The Universe is having fun with me.

Some of my "problems" cleared up yesterday.  Phew!!

Then ... the custom upholstery came damaged -- both sofas.  Good news is it stays until new ones come, but they haven't confirmed new ones are the solution YET.  I have a feeling it won't be that easy.  I'm "accepting" it well though -- yea, me.

Then, I fell down the last 1/3 of my deck stairs this morning at 5am.  The lighting is bad and my little dog was crying -- I thought he was hurt so I rushed down the stairs.  (He was tracking a cat -- brat!!)  I cut my arm and top of my foot.  I have bruises on my shoulder, forearm and knee.  I fell all the way and hit my head (which is fine BTW).  It could have been a lot worse -- I can walk.  It seems to be all soft tissue problems which is fantastic.  I would have cried if I had a joint injury.

I've tried 3 times to import my furniture pictures and the computer is fussing today.  (See, it's a black cloud.)  I'll give it another go for tomorrow.

I'm heading to the city today to pick up supplies for a Releash fundraiser I'm heading on Sunday.  The woman who does our fundraisers is out-of-town.  Exactly ZERO other people are coming to help.  Fun times.

My bad mood is starting to clear up -- might not seem like it, but I'm handling the BLACK CLOUD items well.  When life decides to smile on me again, I bet I'm super happy -- hah!

Speaking of happy, it's shaping up to be a great watermelon season.  It's early and already good (not great yet, but that comes a little later).  Last year was a bust.  Fingers crossed.  Oh, I LOVE good watermelon!!

Later gators.

The Universe Must Hate Me

I think it's true.

Ever have a day, week, etc where you feel like a black cloud is following you?  (BTW, this happens most often in coordination with PMS or a start to a diet - hah.)

I have the flare for the dramatics this morning.  But I deserve a little pity party.  Feel the feelings.

I'm up EARLY this morning (thank you W30) and my precious pups (who've been sleeping in for the last 2 weeks) got up with me (thanks, Universe for messing with my early morning).  I won't go into the arm-length list of things-that-crapped-on-me, but believe me when I say there IS a black cloud directly overhead.

Enough of my Whole30 rage reality, onto some updates.

Zeus is meeting a newly married young couple on Friday (friend of one of the fosters).  He'll go out on a weekend trial if they like him to see how he does as an only dog.  This little guy is INCREDIBLE.  He's settled down and he and Duke are now best buddies.  He even came to get me in the office when my big guy got stuck coming up the stairs.

Full house on Sunday.
Took a minute for the chihuahua to chill LOL
but everyone got along super duper.

Bffs

Netflix watching is going strong.  I started Dead To Me.  OMG -- so good.  Twists, turns, drama, funny and great acting.  I also finished season 1 of How To Get Away With Murder -- there're lots of seasons.  I don't think I'll watch it all.  Beginning to feel like the same thing on repeat.  We'll see.

I did one home boxing class.  Timed it in rounds and made the sequences up.  I needed more sand to weigh it down (hubby already took care of it) and I need a written plan of what I'm doing or a youtube video.  Making it up as I went was hard -- I did 10 rounds of the boxing part.  That's a lot of thinking.  I don't know how I'll use it going forward -- full workout or an add-on to another workout.  I'm trying it as an add-on this morning.

If things go well today, I'll have furniture by tonight. (and pictures by tomorrow).  Not the mattress though.  Apparently 2 months to order a mattress was not enough time for Pottery Barn.  They lost the order and need until the end of June to deliver it.  I cancelled it and was told I need to wait 3 days for the 3rd party to approve the cancelation.  WTH??  Nope.  We're going out to buy the mattress tomorrow.  We wanted to wait to see the bed first.  You can use it with or without a boxspring so we'll figure that out today.  Bummer because we got a killer good price (that's the only reason we ordered it from PB).  I'm excited for the furniture, a little nervous (please let it look nice) and not looking forward to back pain from moving the old stuff.

That's my life in a nutshell.  I feel like a nut in a shell.  Maybe after a few days, all will be well in my world.  Having a last pig-out before W30 makes for a hard first few days.  I'm hitting a long meditation today to help turn around my universe-is-shitting-on-me attitude.  I know it's all for my greater good (*gag*), but I don't want greater good this week.  I want regular good.  Throw me a bone already.  Later gators.

Monday Feels

Monday AFTERNOON!  The morning got away from me, but HELLO afternoon post.

I got up later than normal this morning.  Why?  GoT and a Mother's Day food coma.  I'd like to say there's some regret involved in the latter, but NOPE!  I had a day of feasting ahead of Whole30 start today.  I think I read that you SHOULD pig-out the day before a "diet" starts .... right?!?!?

GoT.  Again, no spoilers, but I liked the episode.  It was rushed and a little unbelievable (in the world they created), but it was exciting and fun to collectively enjoy something with the masses of people watching.  I'll add that I don't like people who BRAG about never watching it -- who cares, watch or don't.  You're not special nor significant because you're too cheap to pay for HBO - hah.

Yep, I said it.  I'm a little joking and a little not.  It seems like too many people (especially on Facebook) have an us-verses-them about EVERYTHING -- including a TV show.  Lord.

Also, I started Whole30 -- bitching begins (for about a week -- sorry in advance).

I spent the morning cleaning -- everything but the wood floors.  We're getting our furniture delivery tomorrow, so I'm waiting until after to do them.  My back hurts.  Even with no floors.

I have some updates, but no time (Releash calls - ugh).

Tomorrow ... updates on boxing, Netflix and Zeus.  Hope you had a great Mother's Day.  Later gators.

Rainy Saturday

I'll take it.  I have house chores to do and a rainy day works.

My mood is no less cranky, sad and horrible ... but I soldier on (*dramatic pause*).

Movie yesterday (The Hustle) was mildly entertaining.  I expected HORRIBLE so it was a pleasant surprise.  My girlfriend enjoys crappy comedies (no offense to her) and I had the bar low.  But, still, let me complain a moment.  We went to a different theater than we usually frequent with the old, regular seats and all the annoyances that comes with it (how I forgot).  Guess I'm super fancy now and want the recliners with SPACE around me.  People passing through the aisle, talking, phone screens ... the usual stuff.  The fancy theater is the same price -- she picked this one because it was closer for me (good friend).  We both decided FANCY for the win FOREVER!!  Also, quick movie but 35 minutes of previews and commercials.  Way, way too much.  I used to love the previews, but now it drags on so long you need a bathroom run 5 minutes into the movie.

We sagged on the neighborhood monthly party (Friday Fun).  My stomach got all messed up in the evening and I needed to be near MY bathroom.  I was bummed about it, but it was necessary.

Hubby did me a solid and funneled 150 lbs of sand into my boxing set-up.  Might need another 50 lbs, but I don't hit hard so I'll try it today.  He's a keeper and a good guy (even though I complain about space -- that's not specific to him, it's ME).

Why is it always such a small fill hole?
Bag height is adjustable.
It's on the highest setting here.

Today's goals, intentions, whatever is to PROBLEM-SOLVE all my mood crap.

One issue contributing is I HURT -- all over.  I mentioned it to hubby and he's having that problem too.  We think it's our sleeping situation.  That's going to get fixed this week.  Pottery Barn or we are headed to a mattress store.  I thought it was all the lifting, etc (which was a big part), but the general soreness in the morning is the bed (or lack of one).

I'm also kicking dairy to the curb.  I know gluten makes me hurt, but dairy is also problematic.  I've been very free with cheese.  Let's see if that helps.

I'm actually toying with a Whole30.  I feel yucky .... physically, mentally.  Maybe a reset is a good idea.  I can't start until Monday because Mother's Day and kids are having us over after brunch for morning drinks (it's sweet of them).  Stay tuned.  The more I think about it, the more I think I need it.

Hope you have a wonderful Mother's Day (in case I don't post tomorrow).  It's a day to celebrate being a woman -- because all women mother in some way.  Later gators.

Rollercoaster

It's been a ride these last couple of days and I'm having trouble regulating my mood about everything.

Here's the UP ...

Bookclub.  It was nice.  Only 9 people.  Manageable, nice conversation.  Not as good as my VA bookclub (nothing can be), but way better than my last one.

Zeus.  Lots of applications.  Starting to settle in and settle down a bit.  He looks like a cartoon character.




Hubby's Job:  2 real possibilities in the works.

Podcast and Netflix.
Oprah's podcast -- Shawn Achor.  Such a great one!  Funny, inspirational.
Brene Brown's special on Netflix.  One of the best "talks" I've ever heard.
VEEP.  It's back!!

Workouts.  My home free-standing boxing bag came.  Have to fill it will sand - oh boy, it's going to be a lot of work.  Hopefully it's good!



Here's the DOWN:

Offer on the house.  Super low.  Interest, but we're always just missing.

Personal Space.  Not existent these last couple of days and I'm ticking and shaking in the corner.  Everyone is crowding me, asking of me, interrupting me (2 phone calls and 3 text messages since I started typing this).  UGH!!

Workouts:  My leg is hurting from running and long walking the dogs.  I might have to join a regular gym to get an elliptical option.  I need to problem solve, not wallow -- but wallowing seems nice today.

Zeus.  Hubby complains about him constantly.  It's exhausting me.  He wanted a housebroken foster and I found one.  Now he wants a less energetic dog.  Really?!?!

Furniture:  Pottery Barn made 2 mistakes in their system.  The one was they put a HOLD on everything.  The other is they "lost" the order for the mattress.  Partial order coming next week.  Other issue is in the hands of customer service.  TBC.

Overall MOOD:  It's in the crapper.  I need to turn it around.  When things get swirly, I leave my routine and then I can't function rationally.  (Just checked the date to see if this is PMS -- nope LOL.)



Space is so super-duper-massively important to my sanity.  Why do I need to fight so hard for it ALL THE TIME?  I want to be left alone in the worst way.

On that fun note, I need to get moving because I have a full day.  It's a relatively "fun" day, but I'm not feeling fun.  Movies with a friend and then neighborhood party.  Later gators.

The Mighty Zeus

We have a new foster and he is BOUNCING OFF THE WALLS!!  He's adorable, housebroken, knows his commands and is DRIVING ME NUTS.  He's a mega-humper and humps anything and everything.

We walked, we played.  He never stops moving.  Goodness.  Duke is upset, Parker won't stop barking at him in motion.  It's crazy-town. (Hey, the fence is working really well though!)

We were happy to have an owner surrender of a "good" dog, but it's never that simple.  We are under the 24 hour mark, so I'm hoping things settle down a bit.  I'm sure he's nervous and wondering where his family is ... poor baby.

His face -- always SMILING.

A quick note on his name.  When I call a dog, I often say "hey, dog-name."  Say "hey, Zeus" and you'll see the problem.  His code name is Jesus -- LOL.

I got out of bed at my normal time this morning.  Ran outside with Duke.  Walked both littles another 2 miles.  Showered.  Did some chores.  It's been a productive morning.  Hubby is golfing and I'm doing my self-care stuff and rescue work all day.  I plan to have a good day.

My May goals involve me getting back into a routine -- actually THE routine that was serving me well.  I'm out-of-sorts with all this NEW and I can't seem to find my footing.  I know some stuff will change, but the essence of it should continue.  I think things are slowing down enough that I can get back to something normal or at least find a new normal.  As usual, I'm trying, but it's tough.

Happy humping Hump Day.  Jesus' Zeus' favorite day.  Later gators.

Mornings

I need to get out of bed earlier.  My sleep-in time is creeping later and later.  Strange since it gets light so early and we have NOTHING on the windows.

I'm waking up at around 4:30 -- too early to get out of bed, but then falling into a deep sleep and not stirring until 6:30.  It's a problem if I want to run outside.  Must get out before the sun gets too high -- but I need time to have my morning drinks, etc.  I think a new foster will cure my morning issues -- pictures for tomorrow.  We grab him this afternoon.

I listened to a Brooke Castillo podcast yesterday.  She says life is 50% good feeling and 50% negative feelings.  Always.  She also says there's nothing wrong with a negative feeling unless you decide to make it wrong.  The point of this podcast is many of us (*up goes my hand*) live this cycle:

Beat myself up for not doing what I should do.
Give myself a false pleasure to feel better (food, alcohol).
Beat myself up for the false pleasure.
Give myself another false pleasure to feel better.
Repeat endlessly.
50-50

She suggests changing the "flavor" of the 50-50.  Make the uncomfortable 50% be growth/change which is hard and doesn't feel awesome in the moment.  Make the pleasure the real deal with being happy with living your best life.  (She's not saying you aren't worthy in THIS moment, but life is about changing and growing and not staying stationary ((on a sofa)) -- this is how you LIVE, not simply exist)

She started with the example of exercise.  Uncomfortable in the moment.  Push hard to lift heavy weight for an hour.  Nothing changes immediately except being sore and tired for the next 3 days (50% negative).  Over time, of course, you build strength and muscle and you get PLEASURE from the change (50% positive).

And, as you see results, you actually look forward to the uncomfortable -- great workout = sore muscles = results I want.  She suggests trying this in other areas too.  Push into the uncomfortable to live the REAL pleasure of life.  Learn to embrace the uncomfortable as a signal of getting results and long-term pleasure on the horizon.

As always, Brooke says it best #266 on her podcast.

Happy Tuesday.  Later gators.

Afternoon Hello

Up in my office this AFTERNOON and saying 'hello.'

Sleep this morning interfered with some of my routine.  GoT is on VERY late in my world and I didn't get to bed until 11 pm (practically the next day - hah).  Up at 7 am and Duke saw the dog walking group and wanted to join in again.  That left no time for second coffee or journaling.  Both are happening now :-)

No spoilers ... but GoT was not a great episode.  In fact, I'd say one of the worst ones in the series.  To avoid spoilers, I won't say why I think this, but I'M RIGHT - hah!

The food was great yesterday, but OMG too much work.  It felt like more work than Thanksgiving because the recipes were new and SO MANY STEPS.  The only dud was the corn casserole.  I made it up without the dairy too and we liked that better.  The dairy never thickened and it was like corn swimming in cream.

I'll be adding everything else into rotation -- not all together though!!

I went to lunch with a friend today and had a great lunch, awesome conversation (she my favorite to chat with) and came home with a bag of greens from her garden.  Win and win.

I'm knee deep in Releash stuff this afternoon.  Sort of happy to be back, mostly not.  We're getting a foster tomorrow -- more on that later.  I need to find a way to enjoy the application calls again.  A BIG turn-around is my only hope LOL.  I love the rest of the stuff (fostering, fundraisers, transport).  The problem is NO ONE likes the phone calls.  I think doing my share is only fair.  Everyone can't do ONLY fun things (even though that's exactly what most do).

I've predestinated (what is this autocorrect??) procrastinated long enough.  Fingers crossed for VOICEMAILS ... it's come to that.  Later gators.

Cinco de Mayo and GoT

It's a BIG day.  Two wonderful things on one little Sunday.

Looks like Cinco de Mayo to me!

Kids are coming for a "party" celebrating both and I bit off a too-much-cooking bite.  When I realized it was Cinco de Mayo, I decided to do a Mexican menu compliments of The Pioneer Woman and the cookbook my DIL gave me for Christmas.

Tequila chicken --marinated overnight in a food-processor marinade (i.e. lots of prep work)
Mexican rice -- lots of prep AGAIN and a few steps to cook today
Mexican corn casserole --  AGAIN, prep, prep, prep.

THEN appetizers ...
Bacon-cheese jalapeño poppers (also with mini-bell peppers for hubby).
Marinated black bean dip with chips.
Guacamole and chips.

THEN drinks ... made the mixers for margaritas and mojitos (yum)
Target had huge, fresh bundles of mint so, of course, mojitos were a must!

THEN dessert .... back to PW with Knock You Naked Brownies.  Three layers -- brownies, caramel, chocolate, oh my.

Nothing HARD, but everything had multi-steps.  I prepped yesterday and this morning.  The dinner shouldn't be much more work.  If I cook all day and then come to the table, I'm too tired to enjoy the meal so I prepped and cooked like crazy yesterday.

It's fun to do a theme meal with (mostly) new recipes.  I probably didn't need to do quite this much, but I got sucked down the hole of it-will-be-easy-and-fun.

Quick note on the Pioneer Woman cookbook.  Wow - it's nice.  At first blush, I didn't love it, but cooking the recipes changed my mind.  Every recipe has pictures of EVERY STEP.  Easy to follow, easy to read.  Of course, nothing even close to healthy, but it's certainly delicious.  Since she cooks for big crowds, most recipes can be prepped or made ahead and feed a group.

See what I mean?

Big meal, a few drinks and then GAME OF THRONES.  It's going to be a long, fun day.  Later gators.

More House Pictures

Are you sick of house pictures yet?

We did some more organizing and decorating yesterday.

Here's my office with wall hangings.  I'm proud of it because I followed what I like ... not necessary how it "should" go ... I debated for a week over the decision.  I know it's right for ME since it feels good.  MORE on the big wall and LESS on the little wall -- but it didn't feel right ... reversing it felt better.

Big wall, one small mirror.
I'll hang something from the hooks eventually.

Picture grouping behind the desk.
I like the second row hung low.

We hung pictures in a few rooms and I did the same thing.  Bucking my NORMAL way of hanging and going with something different.  It makes me HAPPY.

I also worked on the family room shelves.  I was going to wait until the furniture came, but since I can easily change it, I thought I'd play around.

Goal (for this arrangement) -- only use stuff I own ... no buying ANYTHING.  Most of the things are family pieces, family pictures, books from my childhood or things that have special memories.  At first I wanted minimal decor, but since I want to USE my things (not store them) I did a layered look instead.

Missing something ...

Added fake flowers from another arrangement I'm not using.
Picture is later in day, so lighting is off.
Not sure about ones on the right side.
I like the single flower on the left though.

In other news ...

Our potential new neighbor stood us up for a visit.  I had a feeling.  I cleaned everything but the wood floors so that's on the list today.  Since Duke and I ran outside, I started late and couldn't fit everything before I needed to shower (for a visit that never happened - ugh).  Annoying that he didn't show up, but might have been a communication issue.  I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt (but fool me once...)

My girlfriend is coming to see the house today and we're trying a local place for lunch.  I'm glad I moved our lunch day back from Wednesday.  I feel more myself and can enjoy the afternoon without wanting to be somewhere else.

Powersheet daily goals list is helping me stay on track -- should've used it sooner, who knew.  I LOVE to check a box.  I started to justify a night snack and remembered I couldn't check-the-box if I did -- if only every night was that simple.

The weekend is here.  Happy Friday.  Later gators.

Equilibrium

Yep, yesterday was better.

I spent the morning in self-care heaven.  Puttering around, getting stuff finished and then a LONG workout, LONG meditation and a LONG shower (I'm usually quick, but lingering was nice).

Hubby asked to go on errands with me, but I said (politely as I could), I needed to go by myself.  Podcasts, music, quiet and thinking.  Plus, tons of errands that made me feel better.  Gas fill up, car wash, eyebrows, grocery store, Goodwill drop (again), ATM ... pesky things that feel good to have off my plate and I wouldn't have finished all of them with hubby with me.  The best part was I was ALONE.  Answering to no one.  Finding my equilibrium again.  (Heard that term on a podcast describing exactly what happens with me -- fancier word than BALANCE and it seems more appropriate this week.)

Today is a cleaning day (sorry, aching back).  Not my favorite, but, oh so nice when it's finished.  Later this morning, a potential next-door neighbor is stopping by to introduce himself.  Not the best timing on my cleaning morning, but I couldn't say no.  Older, widowed fellow looking for a nice neighbors -- don't know if it's good or bad that he's meeting us --- hah.

During my morning of self-care, I did May's POWERSHEETS.  My accountability partner gave me the program after she won an extra copy.  It's a detailed, directed goal guide.  I worked on the pre-work for the last couple of months.  (I got it in March -- pre-work is 40 pages and took a long time with the move happening too.)  This is the first month I started on the program.

Each month you journal a few things (what's worrying you this month; what are your obstacles this month; what are you looking forward to this month ... things like that).  You decide on your goals for the month and then divide them into details.  Monthly, weekly, daily.  At the end of the month, you do a summary and overview of what happened well and what needs more work.  Of course, there are CHECK-BOXES for the details -- who doesn't love checking off a list.  If you buy it, I believe it's $40.  Not bad.  You visit it daily, but don't spend a lot of time on it once your monthly list is finished.  And, the actual book is great -- heavy paper, font, layout, spiral-bound, STICKERS!!

I'll do a post on it in June and show a few pages -- once I've done a full month.  Darcie loves this program and I'm happy she sent me her extra copy.

I hear the dogs stirring so time to get moving.  Four more days until my goal of fabulous better.  Later gators.

Pictures and other Random Things

First the Closet:

The BIG things are starting to finish up.  The closet looks good.  I'm glad I switched to white (originally gray wood stain -- pretty, but the white matches our bathroom cabinets.)

Hopefully, by June we should be settled -- furniture and window treatments left to go before we can decorate, etc.

"My" wall.
Ordered a large silver, round mirror
from West Elm for the wall.

From the other angle.
Maybe baskets up top?
It's too high to reach for regular use.

Hubby's area.
Technically more space than my side.
He has empty shelves and a drawer.
BUT, he gave me the shoe closet.
Good man.

Now some random things.

Audio Books:
I canceled the Audible membership with Amazon.  Interesting to note ... when I started the cancelation process, Amazon offered me a 50% discount for three months after my trial ended.  If you like Audibles, it's a good way to get a discount.  The program seems good for the right person and the right circumstance.

BUT ...

I didn't like the audible books.  I read quickly and hearing a book SLOWLY read out-loud was painful and inspired sleep -- not cool for riding in the car.  I'll stick to podcasts and READING books.


Shopping in Charleston:
Every kind of shopping you could imagine-- artisan, local, boutique, mall-stores, couture stores, sweets stores ... the list goes on.

I got a couple gifts for my bff (birthday in September) and a couple of things for me.  Also, the mandatory food gifts for my family.  Jelly, mustard and cookies.  All local and yummy.

For my girlfriend ... a fun handbag and a collapsable vase.  She likes "different" things.  The vase seems to work really well and I liked that it's not glass.

It's a nice size too.
I chose a basic pattern.

Big enough to actually hold things.
Eyes are a mirror.

For me ... an artisan bowl -- Rainbow Row.  It's clay painted over glass.  Food safe and durable.  I love it.  Also, a nightgown that I'll use while I blow-dry my hair.  I like to have something on my body, but the something must be cool enough (workout straightening my hair) and must be able to go over my head without messing up my finished hair.  It's harder than you'd think to find something that works.

The bowl.
Plants STILL alive.

Short BUT pockets, yea

Volunteering:
My break is over.  Back to all things Releash Atlanta.  Applications, looking for the next foster and helping at 2 fundraisers in May.  The break felt really good -- almost too good.  Time to be productive again.


Gluten:
I had some gluten toward the end of the trip.  Now my feet ache and I'm sad.  Yep, knew it was coming.  This time the gluten wasn't worth it.  Breaded, fried foods and lousy bread.  When will I learn?  Maybe never.


Routine:
I'm desperate to get back to a good routine again.  I knew March and April would be spotty, but now it's May and most of the crazy is finished.  It's easy to let it slide to a low priority.  It's hard to push when I have hubby home.  Distractions and interruptions are constant.  The only way to fix this is to make it #1 on the priority schedule.  Obviously, emergencies and whatnot don't count, but regular days need to have ROUTINE.  I need to fight for it because it's not something he needs and therefore doesn't really understand it.  He questions it A LOT.  Why does CHANGE suck for me?

Even though I had a great time away for the weekend, I'm really empty on quiet time for myself.  Coming home to contractors in my BEDROOM for two days makes me jittery.  It's hard to get quiet time because hubby is home and talking to me ALL THE TIME.  I'm upstairs in my office this morning because he's so chatty.

I set a TIME on this FEELING.  Not sure if that's a smart choice, but it's helped before (it's also wildly backfired -- if it doesn't go as planned).  Today is Wednesday.  By Sunday, I will feel well -- mentally, physically.  That means for this week, I WON'T feel well.  I accept it.  Since life will feel yucky for a few days, best time to do all the yucky things.  Clean, organize, chores, errands.  After days of eating better, being productive, calming down -- I SHOULD feel better.  Stay tuned ...

I'm expecting today to feel a little better (expecting can be dangerous though).  No contractors.  Closet is set-up.  I can finally get out to the grocery store, start cleaning and get my life back to all things REGULAR.  I need some CERTAINTY this week.  It's a balance.  I spent too much time in VARIETY and it's giving me a nervous breakdown of sorts.

Happy Wednesday.  5 days until I feel GREAT -- hah, fingers crossed.