Threesome Day

Lots of chores off my plate.

A few followups today.

Eat the frog first.

I got vaccinated yesterday -- flu and covid. Feeling a little blah this morning, but glad to have them in my system ahead of travel. I waited until after the big hikes.

Donated a big basket of arugula to the food bank. It's growing like crazy right now.

Using my new calendar strategy, I added some things that I really wanted to do, said no to some things, punted some things to January (already at that point in the year). 

I'm grateful to be asked and I don't take that for granted, but I'm more selective now. 

November is already slim pickings. We have a trip to Hilton Head, company in Asheville for a weekend, Thanksgiving. This leaves little time as the first full week is underway. Then we leave for Paris in the beginning of December. 

(Honest to god -- STOP traveling in November and December. Do I listen to myself? Nope. It always feels manageable 6 months away. I somehow forget about decorating, cooking, gift shopping, etc. Good enough has to be the theme this year.)

I wonder if trying these new strategies over the holiday months is akin to starting a diet during the holiday months. Probably not the most effective, but maybe helps a bit.

I cannot tell you how freeing it felt to say no to a few things that were simply too much for my schedule and my desire to do them. Too much work on my end. I think one of the invites was just so I could do the favor of hosting in Asheville. Big weight off my shoulders -- no 'yes' with conditions, no wishy-washy 'no,' and absolutely no 'maybe.' Simple and direct 'no thank you and thanks for the invitation' kind of response. Fantastic. Done. 

I've been using 'no' more with people I expect the 'yes' to become inconvenient for me. You plan it now (even though it wasn't my invite). You execute it (aka drive). You adjust it (to their changing schedule). 

This leaves room for 'yes' with people that don't do that and our time together feels easy and relaxed.

Okay, I'm beating a dead horse on this one, as usual. 

I hope you have a good day.

I'm heading out on the threesome for the day. While it'll be nice, it's a 'yes' that morphed. (Not all morphing is bad and I'm reluctantly flexible a lot more than I'd like, but things rarely seem to morph into something BETTER for ME. I've been paying attention incase I'm not noticing when it IS better for me ... but nope, it's rare.)

Later gators. 

P.S. I have been noticing "dear diary" pictures, but not been in the position to take the picture. Driving. Hiking with the group. That kind of thing. It's still fun to do. 

Phew, It was Hard!

This hike was a lot harder. 

Every little bit of me is sore. 

But finished with no problem. One hiker had an issue keeping up so she's going to need to qualify before she gets at this hike level with the club again. Another hike leader stayed back with her for most of the hike. 

I'm taking a complete day off from working out. Even my arms are sore. 

The views were beautiful and the trails had vibrant red and orange trees. No pictures though -- phone was in my backpack in a plastic bag. Two of the hikers collect leaves for an art project because they were that special.

Rain held off, but threatened the entire time. The wind was brutal. Only down branches, no trees. The entire hike is on the AT and it's well maintained and marked (which is nice with leaves covering the path).

The last 15 miles of the drive was mountain road with crazy turns and switchbacks. Dang. Steep and leaf covered too. Yesterday was an adventure. 

I'm proud for making this a goal.

Proud that I completed it. 

Proud that I did BOTH hikes.

Proud that I drove the crazy drive.

Proud I found the trailhead. 

Lots of FS things to notice and appreciate. 

It's Monday and the first Monday of the month -- 5 Mondays in November. 

It feels like opportunity, for some reason. Clean slate. Holidays begin. Weather better. 

(Reminds me I need to revisit the 26 for 2026 list and start keeping notes for next year's list.)

With summer staying an extra month, the end of the year is so close you can touch it.

My week isn't planned well, but I managed a "no" that frees up a little bit of time. It's a good week -- only a few chores, but it's too much with people and too much of me driving the plans again. 

I've started using the idea of "good enough" as another way to tackle my calendar woes. 

It's not a new concept, but I overheard it on last week's hike and it struck a chord. They were talking about it in relationship to work-life balance, but I can absolutely apply it to my situation.

I did it yesterday. Kids over for football and I had the hike. Left EVERYTHING up to everyone else. No cooking. No food planning. No toy setup. I came home around 4 o'clock, got to play with my grandson which is the best part, and didn't even help cleanup. 

Hubby wanted to sell something on Marketplace and I told him to use his account. I didn't need to be the middle person and manage it. He sold the sports stuff yesterday and there were so many questions -- see?? No need for my involvement. 

Good enough. 

I'm taking things down a notch or two. Doing just enough and letting others pick up the slack (do some work too). No need for me to do it all. Wonder if I can use it this week?

A friend reached out to get together. I gave her dates. She responded "let me know some ideas and we can lock it in." What?? Why am I planning this now? I'll put out a couple of basic ideas and punt decisions back to her. Good enough.

I'm applying this to the holidays too. They'll be good enough so that I have time to enjoy it too. I have a big no for a birthday party. December 23 -- costume party (not Christmas themed). I can't do it. Just the party? Okay. Party with an elaborate costume the evening before I host the holiday -- nope. 

Anyway, should be light soon and I can get to the chore list -- starting with a food bank garden donation. Today is "that" kind of day, but I'll be happy to have the work finished.

Hope you're set for this month -- we're cruising to the finish line of 2026.

Have a great Monday.

Later gators.

Threesomes

GM. Best night of the year -- I LOVE the "fall back" weekend. Nothing like an extra hour of sleep that doesn't take from your morning.

I'm up early for the hardest of the 2 BIG hikes. 

Rain expected.

No rain expected.

Now rain expected (actually raining).

I have no idea if she'll cancel. It'll depend on the trail conditions when wet. People dropped the hike last night (probably because of the weather forecast). It's a wait and see.

I might need to reevaluate shoe choice too because of blisters and wet socks. I don't have waterproof hiking gear because I only do day hiking. 

Little recap:

Fun halloween event with my grandson. 

Dinner with the kids. 

Kids picked me up and treated -- felt like I a granny moment where I had to do nothing!!!! More of this, please.

Yesterday was a relaxing day. We ended up walking to coffee at the same time both our new neighbors were walking to the farmers market and one couple to breakfast. Met in the street for a chat.

Then I saw the newest neighbor again later in the morning. We stood by my fence and she asked about a political sign (she voted in her old town because of timing so didn't know the candidate). I said democrat and she said she was so relieved. 

We were both worried about each other and our political views. They've been discussing us -- are we, aren't we?!? We did the same.

Both her kids are gay so this is also personal for them. What a relief. We were both being cautious and a little standoff-ish. It's why she moved -- wanted a more liberal area where people didn't vote against the rights of her children. 

She didn't notice the pride sign next to the political sign. 

Our town leans liberal, but not everyone (of course). 

Now she's joining me and my other neighbor in the city on Tuesday. (I'm driving AGAIN, no one else likes to drive in the city). My other neighbor suggested it and I'm happy to have her along.

This makes us a threesome. 

It's my third threesome group of friends that developed this year. 

I don't know how I feel about this. Traditionally, I don't like it. It's how feelings get hurt. Plans become complicated. Someone becomes the "extra." Two is perfect. A group is different. Three is its own thing.

Of course, in mature friendships, with emotional mature people, this shouldn't be a problem. I guess the question is, am I mature enough to handle if I end up the extra in these groups? Especially this neighborhood group where you can notice people come and go. I also know they have much more in common with each other and most likely will become fast friends. 

I'd like to think I can handle it these days without getting jealous or my feelings hurt or competitive. I guess it's another wait and see -- and get coached hah!

I need to remember to show up as MYSELF and not mold to fit in with their interests, etc for the sake of being friends. I don't NEED new friends. Our relationships will develop as they develop -- organically and honestly. 

P.S. I am happy about it in a lot of ways too. I like the idea of more couple friends and bumping into them for spontaneous plans. 

Okay, time to pack up. Need to make a hike lunch for the picnic at the summit -- one of my favorite things to do on a hike even though I don't eat much since there's still a lot of hiking left. It's a romanticized moment that lives up to the hype.

Happy November ... eeek.

Later gators.

Gretchen Rubin Tidbits -- You're Welcome

Remember the meditation "message" this week? This was the page I read in a poetry book last night. 

Synchronicity.

From the last used bookstore visit

I "Gretchen Rubin-ed" my nightstand. GR has a few practical recommendations I use regularly. You will find them so helpful too. 

(1) Do something about regular annoyances, don't just tolerate them. It makes a big difference in your daily experience. 

I put my glasses on my nightstand when I turn out the light. 

50% of the time I knock them off in the morning reaching for them.

25% of the time I can't find them and I have to sit up, turn on the light.

A very low success rate of reaching for my glasses when I wake up. 

So I finally did something about it.

Decorative bowl next to the books and my phone (couldn't be easier). Done. 

Glasses in the bowl. Doesn't fall off. Easily reachable.

Worked perfectly this morning. 

(2) When you can't find something, it's most often exactly where you think it is, you didn't look hard enough. 

Happened yesterday. I couldn't find my iPods after the trip to Asheville. I knew the electronic pouch I use for the trip was the most likely place, but they weren't there. Except, they were. Once I looked in other places, I returned to where I expected them to be and, sure enough, they were under another electronic item. 

(3) When you leave a place (restaurant seat, train seat, etc.) always look back. Best way to not leave something behind. It's amazing how many times I left my book, water bottle, sweater, etc. 

This is hubby's favorite. Saved him many times when traveling. 

An update from yesterday, about "old" ladies. 

The woman who was giving me the most confusion about going to lunch on Wednesday, sent a text to a couple of us. "Let's just go to lunch on Wednesday." She's going to bring it up at the coffee today.

Honest to god. I said the EXACT same thing ... over and over. Now it's somehow her idea, not mine. Whatever. I didn't do it for the glory (hahaha). Lunch it is -- with a bunch of old ladies!!!!

Duke and I ran yesterday. He had such a good time. 

I was supposed to pick up my grandson, confirmed in the morning on a text to both parents. Yep. All set. 

Except he wasn't at school. They "forgot" my DIL was off from work. Geez, BUT MY SON CONFIRMED THAT MORNING!!!

I set up for him. Got snacks ready. Reserved the afternoon. 

My DIL didn't notice the text until later and let me know.

I'm not loving this week's theme -- ready to start another week and roll the dice with a new one. 

I'm looking forward to today. Easy day with fun people and fun plans.

Friday coffee meeting with a lunch plan announcement 😁

Lunch with a friend at a new GF Mexican restaurant in the next town over. 

Halloween parade at my grandson's school. I confirmed again yesterday. 

Hubby comes home late tonight. I'll have the evening to myself unless I get a dinner invite from the kids. 

NOTHING on the calendar for tomorrow and I'm so happy. Spend some time with hubby. Relax. Read. 

I'm getting the fall itch to get back to creative things. I'm ready to paint rocks. Ready for a couple of crafty projects. Stay tuned. 

Best get moving. I'm on Duke walking duty this morning again. 

Have a great Friday.

Later gators. 

Old Ladies?

Spoiler alert -- I had to plan the day. 

Good thing I looked up options for parking and lunch. 

No one did anything. 

It was good that I drove though. The woman who parked in my driveway couldn't back out. Ran over the grass over and over, almost hit the utility pole. Eeeek. It was awful. So awful, my husband texted me because of the camera alerts. She kept turning the wrong way. No exaggeration -- about 10 times. Wrong every time. She finally just chanced it and ran over everything to get out. I was just walking to help her when she pulled out over the grass and bushes. It wouldn't have been safe for her to drive in the city. She's only in her 60s -- I don't get it.

The Margaret Mitchell House was interesting. Obviously controversial with the black rights (or lack of rights) during that time. The museum tried to balance the perspective from the black community. Gone With the Wind was the first saga novel I read (actually read it twice as a teenager). It's so problematic, I know I wouldn't enjoy it now (maybe that's good news, growth, education).

Even with everything, the history of the novel and the movie was fascinating. 

We went to Mary Mac's for lunch. Iconic southern restaurant in Atlanta where we had the rehearsal dinner for the wedding a couple of years ago. I got the meatloaf. I don't eat meat often, but this is an absolute favorite classic. 

Sweet potato, collards, meatloaf

I dropped another garden donation to the food bank first thing.

Fresh and beautiful colors

A little chat about aging ... specifically aging women. 

The driving thing is a THING. Does it become that hard or do women stop wanting to drive and then they can't? I don't want to age that way. It's happening to women my age too. About half of my friends won't drive downtown, or certain highways, or long distances, or places they aren't familiar. The ones who do drive are left to do all the driving -- and apparently the planning too. This is part of why I get my panties in a bunch over driving -- driving means doing all the work of figuring out timing, parking, logistics. They absolve themselves of everything if they're not behind the wheel.

Another odd story involving women  ...

I asked our group if they wanted to get lunch on Wednesday after the election to just be together. I asked it at our Friday meeting -- brought it up 2 weeks in a row. 

It's like clucking hens. 

We may not know the results. 

It might be a run-off. 

We might lose. We might win. 

Yes to all of it. The point is to get together after a stressful night and long election. Just a little local lunch invite. I explained this multiple times and no one can wrap their heads around it. 

IT'S JUST LUNCH (!!!)

Should we wait and do a party?

Should we only do it if we win?

Should we wait until they take office?

I mean, seriously, WTH?? Why is this hard to understand? I finally said, if no one is interested in lunch, I'll make other plans. The response ... well, we won't know if we should go or not until that morning. And then they circle around to all the same points again.

I can't make this up. 

Every single time I bring it up, I explain it, and they act like they can't understand my words. 

If I had simply said, who wants to go to lunch next week, they'd give me an answer and that would be that.

These women are in their 50s, 60s, and one just turned 70. Why are they like this? There was one younger woman the first week when mentioned it who understood (not able to go) and reiterated the explanation to everyone. She got the same response. So it's not me speaking gibberish or being unclear. 

Lord help us. I want to take a poll -- who of these women are on HRT and who are not. I wonder if this is the line that gets drawn. I'm starting to pay attention. What makes some women *this* way and others not? It's like brains and abilities go to mush. 

It's that way with walking too. We walked to lunch -- a mile from the museum. We all agreed and happily walked on a beautiful day. They were tired at the end of the walk. They had trouble with the rolling (little) hills. They were breathy. We walked slowly and easily. 

Are they letting themselves become old?

I hope it's a choice or I'll feel doomed to age that way too.

On that note, I'm going to run at the park with Duke this morning. Sweet boy needs some fun too and I wasn't in the mood to hike the mountain. Not sure why, but my gut was pinging to not go. My ankle is wonky and I'm worried about stressing it before the next (even bigger) hike on Sunday.

P.S. During meditation yesterday, I asked for help with decisions. 

The answer: listen to your body. 

It always has the answer before your mind takes over. 

This morning I'm listening. 

Have a good day.

Later gators. 

Seriously??

I'm trying (and failing) to have a good attitude. 

Stayed in Asheville to get the trash out. Truck drove right by the cans -- not used to me having trash out, but still!! Seriously?? I couldn't catch them. I had to bag everything and bring it home in the car. Yuck!!! 

My car is having camera and interface problems. Stopped into the dealership -- spent 2 hours trying to fix it. Nope. Full day appointment with a loaner next week. Seriously?? 

Obama rally is not actually in Atlanta as advertised. It's almost a 2 hour drive in traffic so we bagged those plans. But I already got a dog walker (signed up for the 2-4 slot and the appointment is at 1:30). Seriously??

I suggested we stick with the plans to go downtown to the Margaret Mitchell House and have lunch. Three of us are going. The woman who said she'd drive (since I've driven the last 3 times) asked me to drive instead. I said okay, but they needed to come to my house. (It's 20 minutes in the wrong direction -- adds 40 minutes to pick up and drop off.) 

She PUSHED back on it. Seriously?? I'm annoyed. She's reluctantly coming here. Doesn't want to leave her car parked outside or some such thing and they both live in the same neighborhood. Then suggested I look up restaurants. Am I planning EVERYTHING now?? I hope not. 

Whoever rides in the back is going to be squished because I have the carseat already hooked up for tomorrow. I'm not doing it again. Enough is enough is enough is enough -- shouting this from the mountaintop. 

Maybe I'm getting beat over the head with the message to change something. 

Do things differently.

Stand up in a better way. 

I'm at a loss, but I know I'm pulling back for the next couple of weeks. Adding NOTHING that I have to do anything for someone else. (Some things are already on the calendar though, but nothing new.)

Taking care of ME.

Anyway ...  

I'll leave you with this sweet flower from Asheville. 

Lone color in a sea of brown. 

Trash Day??

Good morning from Asheville. 

House is cleaned. I need to figure out trash day. I *think* it comes early Tuesday morning, but I'm not positive -- I texted a neighbor and no response. Timing the release of the bear strap is tricky. I've messed it up before which means trash all over the street (bears are quick). We usually bring our trash home for this reason. 

Nobody has their trash out yet, so I wait ... and watch. 

UPDATE: I looked it up and pickup is today, but no time approximation.

I planned to run today, but my ankle is still sore and given timing the trash, I might postpone and run tomorrow. I'd still like to take Duke on a long walk, but, again, timing is tricky this morning. It'll be a last minute decision.

Possibly, I can black bag the trash and bring it home. Not ideal -- poopy diapers and lots of smelly things, but if it's not trash day or the trash picks up later, that might be the option. 

Decisions, decisions. 

I'm ready to get home. It's a full week and I need to be THERE, not HERE, especially when there's no Asheville fun to be had this time around. Yes, outdoor stuff IS fun, but not when I feel so rushed to get on the road. I'm supposed to pick up my grandson from school today so it's tight timing. Still dark outside for another hour, so I can't do anything yet ... then it's during the trash window. 

(Riveting discussion today ... one step above talking about the weather hahaha.)

That said, I'm VERY grateful to my present self for hooking up my future self and making this trip.

Tomorrow is big day. Waiting on the details of Obama's rally and plans to go downtown for the day. I don't expect we'll get into the venue, but it'll be an experience. It's one of those things that I imagine I'll be glad to have done, but I'm not really looking forward to it. Eeek, just realizing I might need a dog sitter for such a long day.

I'm STILL working on the calendar. 

What's worth it?

Where's the balance?

There's something so appealing to slow days ... gardening, cooking, reading. Quiet moments. No rushing. Homebody days. Nothing pressing. No time table for the day. 

But too much of that isn't really a life fully lived (at least from my perspective). 

That's the balance I need to figure out. 

When my calendar is too full, I miss the quiet life. 

When it's too quiet, I miss out on the depth of experiences. 

As I've chatted about before, I think the answer lies in WHEN I schedule and understanding I need to say no to even things I want to do (prioritizing). I didn't do well this week.

An area that's giving me pause is ADVANCED scheduling lunches. The lunch breaks up the day completely -- often not able to hike with the club or do something in the afternoon. I want to catch up with friends, but it seems the lowest level of a catch up with no imagination. Most of the lunches are relatively bland conversations about what everyone's been up to at the same old restaurants. There are exceptions and I love those lunches. I also love a last minute lunch -- hey, we're both free, let's grab lunch. 

But I want to spend time with those friends, and I'm kind of tired of driving the bus on "adventures" so that leaves a little bit of a dilemma. Maybe limiting time slots? I'm available, but I already have a lunch on the calendar that week, so I look further out? 

I don't know. It's all swirling. 

I'm busy, lunch is boring, so no.

Then I'm not busy, now I want to see you.

Doesn't seem fair or kind. 

Basically, I have better things than you right now. See you when I'm bored. 

This is decidedly NOT the answer. 

Okay, enough of a rabbit hole. Speaking of decisions, I need to figure out the trash (exciting, I know) and a possible dog sitter (can't believe I didn't think of this before). 

Have a good day.

Later gators.