Adventure?!?!

This is some *extra* meandering thoughts this morning. 

(Very quick thoughts because I have to leave at 6 o'clock to water my son's garden.)

I hiked with the same hike leader yesterday and a couple of the same women. During the hike, the hike leader turned to me and said I should come on a travel week with the club. She's leading a group of women in Slovenia next summer and thinks I'd love it -- including the people who are planning to go so far. 

What?!?! It sounds amazing and VERY, VERY out of my comfort zone. 

No time for specifics this morning, but things like sharing a room, no a/c (but elevation will be cold on the hikes), hiking 6 days, one ridge-line hike. 

There are some hurdles. 

First, I need to be quick on the sign-ups because it will fill lightening fast. 

Timing -- might be over hubby's 60th birthday.

Fear -- I have tons of it. 

And this could be amazing. Traveling with experienced travel hikers. Seeing the beautiful country (it boarders Italy and Austria). Trip is fully organized and planned. I just pay and show up. 

What this got me thinking about last night is I'm still doing that thing where I'm clinging to something that maybe doesn't work anymore for me (Tuesday group, looking at you) and ignoring what's in front of me. 

Something about "back to basics" is wanting people in my life who inspire, motivate, encourage. I also want to put my time and energy into people who appreciate it. Sometimes I feel like I "force" people into doing things. Not sure if it's me or them -- but the interest is low on their part and that might be why things get canceled or fade or become a shadow of the original plans. I bark up the wrong trees and bark for too long. I try to lead people who don't want to be led. 

I sort of think it's because it's hard to find people who have that level of interests or are that interesting. That feels like a judgement or a snub -- it's not meant to be completely. I respect who people are and what works for them. I know "life" is redundant and filled with regular obligations. It's just very easy to find sort of dull people and much harder to find people who will say yes to a hiking trip in Slovenia. 

I often am and have been that dull person. That's a growth I'm working on. Problem is, it's hard to find those kind of people who will bring you along too. 

All this to say, if I can get on the hike trip, I'm going. 

I'm going to start finding that adventurer in me (safely, of course ... I'm still a chicken-shit). 

I'm going to put an effort into knowing people who are interesting and inspiring. 

I'm going to appreciate when they invite me into their circle a little. 

Maybe this works out, maybe it doesn't, but I want to be the person who gives it a go and sees where that takes me. 

I'm tired of saying "I can't this and that." 

What if I can? 

Especially with the random, rather dumb limits I put on myself. 

What if it's no big deal to share a room on a hike adventure? 

What if it's totally worth the adventure to be a bit uncomfortable?

What if I learn something about myself, stretch, and grow?

Thoughts for this Monday. Off to change for the itty, bitty hike (my back is glad it's short, but my morning routine says this is not worth it). Driving to my son's to tend garden. Driving home to meet at the trailhead. I might even drive the 1/4 mile (shock and awe) because the timing will be tight. 

The things I do for commitment to what I said I would do. I don't want to change this about myself, but I need to be smarter on what I commit to. 

Have a good one. Later gators.

It's Hard to Be Right All the Time (hah)

Well, well, well.

Was I right or was I right?!?

Monday's hike has been on the calendar for 3 weeks. "Let's do a long hike with elevation." My friend is starting training for a hiking trip and asked to do some "training" hikes with me. Her idea. 

I confirmed a few days ago. We decided on the trail, etc. She texted times yesterday because she now has an appointment at 10 o'clock. We're hiking from 8:15 - 9:30. I called it. It's a NOTHING hike. At her pace, we MIGHT get 4 miles hiked. Two of those miles are the in and out from the trail head. I'll probably text her and change the meetup location so at least the mileage is on the elevation part. 

If she modified because of the heat -- okay, I get it, but an appointment? Nope.

This is decidedly not worth my time. Lesson learned. I will hike with her, but I'll have control of my hiking next time. It's sort of okay because I don't want to hike a lot tomorrow, but if I didn't sign up for the hike today, I'd be very annoyed (mostly at myself).

Also, I'd like a sleep-in day and slow roll tomorrow, but I have the piddly little morning hike now. That's why tomorrow doesn't feel worth it. Again, lesson reminder on planning hikes with her -- she gets this one pass. If last minute modifications happen again, I'm allowing myself to cancel the commitment or modify my part because it's not what I agreed to. 

And, when we set up a hike, I'll be very specific from the jump. Hiking this trail, this time, this mileage -- yes or no. That's when the negotiations happen and we both have the chance to say what works for us. Just because I'm available doesn't mean the plan is up for last minute modifications. We agreed to a long, harder hike, but that's too subjective -- apparently. 

Still waiting on information for Tuesday to make a decision. She'll put out information by tonight if there's a hike. Based on rotation, I'm expecting a specific trail with the ONE restaurant that's crappy. If it's that one, I'm out. Just a guess. I probably can hike on Tuesday since Monday will be easy, but a "free" morning sounds too good to miss. We'll see. 

Just remembering I have to get to my son's garden this week. Dang. Hard to know if it rained at his house. Thunderstorms are scattered so I need to go everyday and check.

I picked a bunch of jalapeños yesterday and pickled them. Delicious. I'll give him a jar when he gets back. I also made stuffed peppers with things I had on hand. Rice, beans, my version of taco seasoning, goat cheese. Delicious. His peppers are going nuts and I got to enjoy them. 

I got stung by a bee when I was looking through the cucumbers. I haven't been stung in years and years. It hurt -- swollen, red, stinging finger. Lasted about an hour. Sorry, little bee. I startled him. 

Last night was a wicket night's sleep. Fireworks, big storms, power out 3 times. Sleep, startle awake, repeat. I imagine there's a possibility for the same tonight. Probably why I'm grumpy about tomorrow. I didn't sleep well. 

Hope you have a good day. 

Still clocking this heatwave for at least the rest of this week. 

Stay cool. Later gators.

P.S. I watched Project Hail Mary yesterday. Movie was good. I read the book a long time ago so I didn't feel the comparison to movie enough to be disappointed. Worth the watch and very funny. I don't remember the book being funny.

Hike Plans -- Back to Basics

No problem finishing the hike. The hike leader took a shorter loop to cut a mile off the hike because of the heat and we took extra stop breaks. I forgot how much I enjoy hiking with this club. 

The picnic was really good. People made food from their countries, fresh fruit, garden veggies (me), wine, beer, sammies. It was a spread. 

Because I handled the heat well, I signed up for another hike tomorrow. 10 miler (might be shorter with the heat), but this trail is a lot easier. I've only hiked it once, and I'd like to get to know it. Same hike leader, a few of the same people from yesterday. Much, much lighter traffic on a Sunday so it's not a horrible drive. 

I'm hiking with a friend on Monday, but she'll want to hike more slowly and less mileage. It's also possible she'll cancel from the heat. For all those reasons, I decided to go for the hike on Sunday and push through whatever happens for Monday. 

This brings me to one of the elements of "back to basics" for this year. Remember I said I had drifted from some of my foundational work? This is an area where I've drifted. 

Ramble coming up ...

I can default my life to living into other people's lives instead of my own. Letting others take the reins for my life. Not the big things, but the day-to-day stuff. It's nuanced --- let me try to explain. 

I want to hike on Sunday, but was wondering if that's too much for the hike on Monday. Do I need fresher legs in this heat? I've had the Monday hike on the calendar since Asheville trip with this friend. There's a big part of me that feels I owe this hike my best. 

Yet, she is someone who has a history of canceling (not lately though). The weather is miserable and she's just building up her hiking stamina. Chances are she'll dictate an easier hike than I'd like to do. Chances are she'll not give it her biggest, best effort -- because why would she push herself that much??

Why don't I give that same grace to myself? Why can't this be a hike that I take a bit easier? Why can't I be the possible limiter? 

Now, I don't want to flake on her or the hike (and I don't plan to do either), but, I want to choose ME as the priority, not someone else. Give my best to myself. Give good enough to others. 

Of course, not always and not every situation, but in ordinary moments like this, I get the top billing. 

And, if she does cancel or the hike is blah, I still did what I wanted to do and there will not only be no resentment, but I'll be extra proud of myself for living my own life and not just fitting myself into someone else's decision.

This also affects Tuesday's hike. I'm available on Tuesday with the hiking group, but no hike has been mentioned yet. Holding off on MY choices to accommodate just a possibility is not putting myself first. I won't be able to hike Tuesday if Sunday and Monday's hikes are as expected. That's fine with me. I can always join for lunch if it's a place I want to go. 

It feels good to remember to be in the driver's seat of my life instead of passenger's seat of someone else's. 

There is ABSOLUTELY a possibility that there won't be a hike on Monday or Tuesday and that would leave me very disappointed I didn't hike on Sunday. Of course, both can happen too and that leaves ME with decisions on what to do. I'm not at the mercy of other's decisions. 

That was a ramble. I hope it made a little sense. 

I'm off to tend to my son's garden. We got massive rain yesterday afternoon, so I didn't have to go over too early today. I need to check their ceiling too. Roof was replaced 2 days ago. I hope no leaks. 

Happy 4th. 

I love this country. 

I hate our government. 

I love Mother Nature. Heat dome?? Hail too?? Where ever he goes. Nice work!!!!!!!

We'll take the little wins where we can.

Later gators.

Unicorn Morning

It WAS a good day. 

Having morning time that's not rushed and pushed makes such a difference. I don't need this every day, but at least a couple of times a week would be nice. 

Even hubby was complaining about early mornings. His golf and pickleball are starting super early in the heatwave and he's annoyed too -- that's a first hah. 

Youngest and DIL left for a 10 day vacation. Guess who's watering their garden?!?! I thought MY garden put pressure on my morning. This will add well over an hour to my mornings next week. 

This is the struggle. I know my schedule has been too much lately. I purposely designed July for quieter mornings and I'm already pushed through mid-month. How can I say no though? The entire garden would be dead. I hoped for cooler temps and/or rain, but the heatwave continues which means watering every day. Ugh. I might have to do a few evenings because there are 3 mornings I have no idea how I can make it work. 

This is why yesterday was a such a delightful unicorn, but not enough and I want MORE!!!!!!!

Guess I need to keep trying.

Anyway ...

I'm slightly nervous about the hike this morning. I've hiked these combined mountains many times and I know the trails well ... but it'll be almost 90 degrees when we finish. And it's ungodly humid. I'm not sure I can do it. 

I might have to sag out. I sort of regret registering for it. I can't believe this heat is hanging on so much. Lord knows I don't need to have heat exhaustion or worse.

Wish me luck -- I need it. Enjoy the start to the holiday weekend. Can't say I'm celebrating our country -- I'll celebrate when a better government prevails. For now it feels like mourning. 

On that cheerful note, later gators. 

A Birthday Surprise and It's Not My Birthday

Today is an unexpected surprise. It's hubby's birthday and I thought we'd spend the day together, so I didn't put anything on my calendar. I didn't connect that it's Thursday and his golf league. I'm on my own until 2:30 with NOTHING planned all day. 

Praise be to the Alone Gods. 

I've fussed around the kitchen pickling cucumbers and jalapeños. Baked a birthday treat. 

Fussed in the garden cleaning up a bunch of plants, etc. Not a rushed moment -- took about an hour. 

Now I'm in the craft room -- morning routine a bit later than usual. 

Quick arm workout to follow. I need a fresh body to handle the hike in the heat tomorrow. 

Longer meditation.

I have a few errands to run.

A walk to the library to do a return. 

It's a morning that I've been craving for too long and it surprised me. Couldn't seem to plan one to save my soul, and this morning it just popped up.

Yesterday my volunteer case ended after over 2.5 years. I'll get another one when I'm ready and a case that fits my availability. For now, it's training time and general education. NO court reports in the immediate future and that's a break I'm very pleased about. 

I had a lunch with a friend to exchange my veggies for her fruit. We had a great conversation about books and travel. Planning a day in Atlanta to see a play with her too.

I made blackberry sauce with her basket of blackberries. They were perfectly ripe, but tart and needed to be used for something other than just straight enjoyment. The sauce is DELICIOUS. 

Mixed with coconut yogurt.
Love those flavors together.

It's almost gone already.
So tasty.

Happily simmering.

This was the garden picking today. It looks cheerful and fresh with all the colors. 

Loads of cherry tomatoes
underneath. More veggies
than you'd think in the basket.

I still want to chat about birthday year reflections and such -- I haven't forgotten, but this morning is other plans. 2:30 will come more quickly than I'd like and I have loads of alone things to happen first hah!

Hope you have a good day. Later gators.

Pretty Trail Mushrooms

I hiked 7.5 miles in crazy humidity and heat. Drenched was an understatement. The hike on Friday will be warmer, longer, harder, faster  ... but I think I'll be okay. Good news is I know Friday's trail well so if I need to sag out I can do it -- basically two big connecting loops. 

Mushrooms on the hike. There aren't many flowers this time of summer on this trail, but always something to find. 

I have an emergency court hearing first thing this morning. My volunteer case is probably ending today -- it's been over 2.5 years. It's a sad moment, but the best in a hard situation. We'll see -- the judge may continue it for a few more months. I'll be starting a new case sometime soon. 

Have to get going -- long drive in traffic. 

Hope you have a good day. Later gators.

A HBD Surprise

BIG NEWS ... drumroll ...

I'm going to be a Granny again in January!!!!!!!!

Got the ultrasound picture wrapped for my birthday AGAIN. 

So much fun. 

As soon as I felt the frame, I knew. 

We'll know the gender in about a month. 

Shhhhh ... for now it's a secret. 

My other DIL gave me a color analysis and I'm super excited. That's totally her love language. 

Funny story -- the night I tested positive for COVID, my son went to CVS to get a test for him and also bought a pregnancy test. They were both positive. Missed opportunity to take a picture of the tests together. Thankfully, my DIL was and stayed negative for COVID. 

Also funny story, my DIL and younger son said they hit it out of the park with birthday gifts this year and the only way they could be out gifted if my eldest announced a pregnancy. Hahahaha. And I absolutely loved their gift -- they did knock it out of the park. 

I've been slightly MIA. Dang, I'm busy and I can't seem to un-busy myself. 

Am I managing my calendar horribly?

Am I managing my mind poorly?

Something needs to change and I can't seem to change it. 

Actually, if I'm narrowing it down, what needs to change is my mornings. Summer mornings are tough because things need to happen early in the morning. Outside workouts, gardening. Add plans or obligations and my mornings are too full and too rushed. 

I barely have time to chat this morning because I need to get moving for a hike and before the hike, I need to tend to the garden. It's going to be high 90s today and I can't let a day slide in this heat. 

Broken record. Can I move things to later in the day? Doesn't seem to work well. I get interrupted as the day moves on and the peaceful morning routine to start the day well is anything but peaceful.

Should I decide peak summer months have a different morning routine?

Lots of questions, no answers. 

If I can get a couple/few days a week for a full morning routine, that's enough, but something screws up every single morning lately. Issues that I can't deflect or say no. It's beyond frustrating. 

So much to chat about, but I have no time. I probably CAN move this journaling to later in the day or before bed. I might do that this week and just "publish" in the morning. 

Food for thought on my hike today. NOT hiking with the Tuesday group because they are starting later and hiking 90 minutes away. No thanks. Local trail so I can acclimate to this heat wave before a big hike on Friday. 

Hope you're having a good week. Later gators.