Seriously??

I'm trying (and failing) to have a good attitude. 

Stayed in Asheville to get the trash out. Truck drove right by the cans -- not used to me having trash out, but still!! Seriously?? I couldn't catch them. I had to bag everything and bring it home in the car. Yuck!!! 

My car is having camera and interface problems. Stopped into the dealership -- spent 2 hours trying to fix it. Nope. Full day appointment with a loaner next week. Seriously?? 

Obama rally is not actually in Atlanta as advertised. It's almost a 2 hour drive in traffic so we bagged those plans. But I already got a dog walker (signed up for the 2-4 slot and the appointment is at 1:30). Seriously??

I suggested we stick with the plans to go downtown to the Margaret Mitchell House and have lunch. Three of us are going. The woman who said she'd drive (since I've driven the last 3 times) asked me to drive instead. I said okay, but they needed to come to my house. (It's 20 minutes in the wrong direction -- adds 40 minutes to pick up and drop off.) 

She PUSHED back on it. Seriously?? I'm annoyed. She's reluctantly coming here. Doesn't want to leave her car parked outside or some such thing and they both live in the same neighborhood. Then suggested I look up restaurants. Am I planning EVERYTHING now?? I hope not. 

Whoever rides in the back is going to be squished because I have the carseat already hooked up for tomorrow. I'm not doing it again. Enough is enough is enough is enough -- shouting this from the mountaintop. 

Maybe I'm getting beat over the head with the message to change something. 

Do things differently.

Stand up in a better way. 

I'm at a loss, but I know I'm pulling back for the next couple of weeks. Adding NOTHING that I have to do anything for someone else. (Some things are already on the calendar though, but nothing new.)

Taking care of ME.

Anyway ...  

I'll leave you with this sweet flower from Asheville. 

Lone color in a sea of brown. 

Trash Day??

Good morning from Asheville. 

House is cleaned. I need to figure out trash day. I *think* it comes early Tuesday morning, but I'm not positive -- I texted a neighbor and no response. Timing the release of the bear strap is tricky. I've messed it up before which means trash all over the street (bears are quick). We usually bring our trash home for this reason. 

Nobody has their trash out yet, so I wait ... and watch. 

UPDATE: I looked it up and pickup is today, but no time approximation.

I planned to run today, but my ankle is still sore and given timing the trash, I might postpone and run tomorrow. I'd still like to take Duke on a long walk, but, again, timing is tricky this morning. It'll be a last minute decision.

Possibly, I can black bag the trash and bring it home. Not ideal -- poopy diapers and lots of smelly things, but if it's not trash day or the trash picks up later, that might be the option. 

Decisions, decisions. 

I'm ready to get home. It's a full week and I need to be THERE, not HERE, especially when there's no Asheville fun to be had this time around. Yes, outdoor stuff IS fun, but not when I feel so rushed to get on the road. I'm supposed to pick up my grandson from school today so it's tight timing. Still dark outside for another hour, so I can't do anything yet ... then it's during the trash window. 

(Riveting discussion today ... one step above talking about the weather hahaha.)

That said, I'm VERY grateful to my present self for hooking up my future self and making this trip.

Tomorrow is big day. Waiting on the details of Obama's rally and plans to go downtown for the day. I don't expect we'll get into the venue, but it'll be an experience. It's one of those things that I imagine I'll be glad to have done, but I'm not really looking forward to it. Eeek, just realizing I might need a dog sitter for such a long day.

I'm STILL working on the calendar. 

What's worth it?

Where's the balance?

There's something so appealing to slow days ... gardening, cooking, reading. Quiet moments. No rushing. Homebody days. Nothing pressing. No time table for the day. 

But too much of that isn't really a life fully lived (at least from my perspective). 

That's the balance I need to figure out. 

When my calendar is too full, I miss the quiet life. 

When it's too quiet, I miss out on the depth of experiences. 

As I've chatted about before, I think the answer lies in WHEN I schedule and understanding I need to say no to even things I want to do (prioritizing). I didn't do well this week.

An area that's giving me pause is ADVANCED scheduling lunches. The lunch breaks up the day completely -- often not able to hike with the club or do something in the afternoon. I want to catch up with friends, but it seems the lowest level of a catch up with no imagination. Most of the lunches are relatively bland conversations about what everyone's been up to at the same old restaurants. There are exceptions and I love those lunches. I also love a last minute lunch -- hey, we're both free, let's grab lunch. 

But I want to spend time with those friends, and I'm kind of tired of driving the bus on "adventures" so that leaves a little bit of a dilemma. Maybe limiting time slots? I'm available, but I already have a lunch on the calendar that week, so I look further out? 

I don't know. It's all swirling. 

I'm busy, lunch is boring, so no.

Then I'm not busy, now I want to see you.

Doesn't seem fair or kind. 

Basically, I have better things than you right now. See you when I'm bored. 

This is decidedly NOT the answer. 

Okay, enough of a rabbit hole. Speaking of decisions, I need to figure out the trash (exciting, I know) and a possible dog sitter (can't believe I didn't think of this before). 

Have a good day.

Later gators. 

It Was a Breeze

The hike was so, so much fun. Much more than I expected. 

Incredible weather.

Great group.

Easy start to only moderately difficult climbs. 

Not my hardest hike -- interesting. 

We hiked for a couple of hours and stopped at the Inn for lunch. They offer drinks, fruit, and leftover dessert from the previous night's dinner. It's a zero-waste kitchen. They have a tip jar for day hikers. I love the kindness. 

You can sit in the dinning room or use any of their outdoor seating -- everyone is welcome. 

Next Sunday is a little harder, but I should be fine (might rain through -- too early to say for sure).

Sun sets and shines through the hole
to illuminate the tunnel.

Lunch break

Lunch view

The Inn welcomes day hikers too.
You can hike in and spend the night.

Heading to Asheville this morning for an overnight -- same as last trip + one dog + more work. Prepped the house, now clean up the house. Not that they left it messy, but they didn't clean it. 3 beds, lots of towels -- I'll probably bring some of the laundry home. I also need to put out the trash. Kids in diapers, so not able to hold it in the house. 8 people for a weekend requires cleaning. 

Plans canceled for Saturday. This was something I put on the calendar and instantly regretted because of the timing. Visiting a farm and grooming the cows. My friend has unexpected company. She asked if her company could come, and I gave her the option of canceling. She took it. It would've been fun to go (and great weather), but I'll take the cancel, and I know that's what she really wanted. I appreciate her willingness to hold the commitment though. 

That's all from here.

Asheville won't be much "Asheville" especially with Duke along. 

If all goes well, I'll have the chores finished today. Early run tomorrow and then head home tomorrow. 

Have a great start to the week!

Later gators.

Called Up -- Show Time

A few updates. 

Friday was a full and fun day. Start to finish. 

I talked and talked and talked. 

Breakfast, lunch, dinner.

Dropped the first arugula donation to the food bank. Not a huge amount yet, but enough for 4 families. I'll have another donation on Wednesday when I'm back from Asheville. 

4 banded bundles

I never received "more information" on the volunteer day in Clarkston yesterday. I pinged them again the day before. The event was off their website. Last time I went to the information presentation, they didn't inform the details until the day before so I hadn't been concerned. Maybe I missed a cancellation email? It was frustrating, but I was happy to have a day off from plans.

Drumroll ...

Today is the BIG HIKE. First of 2 (assuming this goes well). 

I have feelings about it, of course I do.

A little excitement.

A little dread (it's going to hurt). 

A little just-get-this-done feeling. 

A little nervous.

The unexpected. 

Don't know where I'm going. 

Don't know the trails. 

Don't know how I'm going to feel. 

I've done the distance and the elevation, but not together. I don't feel particularly energized this week. Recovery from a cold, lack of sleep, knee and ankle pain after that one hike (not horrible, but it's there).

We're taking this hike more slowly than this hike leader normally does. It'll be a nice pace, but not a big push. Good and bad. Slower means more time on my joints and that's a concern. My guess is all will be well until about 8-9 miles and then I'm going to struggle. 

I'm hiking with extremely experienced hikers. There are 5 hike leaders on this hike. I'm the least experienced by far. Called up to the big show -- lord help me. None of my hiking "friends" and that's also a bummer because chatting = distraction. Guess I'll get a lot of eavesdropping on conversations. 

Will this elevate me or put me out of my league?

Next week's hike is even harder. 

Oh geez. I didn't go out yesterday because the volunteering was canceled and that means I didn't get gas in the car. Crap. 

Okay, I've got to get going to leave a little earlier than planned. Wish me luck.

Have a good one. Later gators. 

I Did it Again -- WHY??

I'm glad I got to hike with a friend. It was her first time on this mountain and we hiked slowly, but it was nice to have company. I ran into a hike leader toward the end -- lots of conversation which makes time fly. 

We waited at the trail head for it to get light enough to hike. The sun coming over the mountain was beautiful. Maybe a sunrise hike in the future. (Of course, time change coming and light a lot earlier and this mountain gets icy ... so it might be a minute hah.) 

My friend took this picture. 

"A prickly pear and a prickly hiker."

Says me ...  not her.

I like the perspective. 

The ghost tour was just meh. We got the tour guide who's also a historian and the stories were LONG and drawn out and very little haunting until the end. We bagged at 10:45 -- good lord, it was too long. 

Some fun energy stuff at the cemetery though, but a lot of the rest I could have done without. I'm interested in the history of the town, but not at 10 o'clock at night. The ghost stories and pictures we heard were fun though. I still wonder why all hauntings are from historical times and not the person who died in the house 10 years ago. (You hear people argue this same thing when discussing if spirits are real.)

The tour was supposed to have no bathroom stops, but we stopped at a restaurant for "10 minutes" which turned into 30 because people got drinks to go at the bar (it's an open cup town). The tour guide's time management wasn't good and the 2 hour tour was rounding to 3 when we left. 

Sadly, our little town has a torrid history. Indian land taken from its people, slaves, mass relocation to work camps during the industrial times. All primed for unhappy spirits, if you believe in ghosts. 

It was nice to get together with our friends and new neighbors and a different activity though. When we passed the trail to our house, we all left the tour -- not planned, but unanimous. 

So I've done it again. The calendar is TOO FULL. 

How??

Why did I do it??

A few weeks of better scheduling and life backed up. 

I said yes to things on a whim.

Will I have fun ... yep. 

Is it too much ... for sure. 

Am I driving the bus on it all -- of course I am. 

(I did decline a couple of things that I already thought out. Thank the lord for small favors. I wish I could go back on a couple of the yeses, but I won't. Where is a cancel week when I need one?!?)

That said, I had two pings yesterday about balance. 

One was an article quoting Martha Stewart saying there is no such thing longterm balance. And, if you achieve it, life is boring and you are uninteresting. A bit harsh, but a curious perspective to consider.

I heard something of a similar note from a podcast comment.

Maybe I shouldn't strive to do less, but manage how it comes together. 

Late night activity -- don't plan an early morning.

Out of town -- give an open day on either side of the trip. 

And do better with open spaces again. I failed to keep these couple of weeks open enough and now I have to squeeze in life stuff which makes it a lot.

I'm in a couple week frenzy by my own hand, but November has some opportunities to practice something different again, and I'm going to give it a go.

Maybe a good night's sleep will make it feel better.

I even tried to nap yesterday, but my dog woke me up just as I was dozing off. 

Have to run. 

Such a full day. 

ALL fun things (I know, poor me.)

I wish more of it was sleep related hah.

Have a great day. 

Later gators. 

Long Chat -- No Rants!!

GM. Up early to hike at daybreak ... with a friend, yea!! 

Pretty please don't let her cancel.

This is her first time on this mountain and it'll be a challenge for her.

Kind of relaxes me since we'll take it slowly. 

We have lots and lots to catch up on so time should fly. 

I did NOT go to the meeting last night after they posted the agenda. 

A night of calling and texting numbers to "get out and vote."

Essentially a phone bank -- nope.

And I was so happy to stay home, guilt-free decision. 

Dear Diary, 

Today I saw a fire hydrant dressed and ready for Halloween ... a gnome, a witch?? ... and,

a leaf practicing it's magic right before my eyes.

Speaking of magic, and Halloween, and spooky. Tonight we're heading out for a ghost walking tour in our neighborhood. This is a very, very late night, but I'm really looking forward to the tour and the hang with our neighbors. 

We had our gardeners call last evening and some of my arugula is ready for harvest. I need to fit that in for tomorrow morning. Picking and delivering. I have a full, full day -- all fun, but non-stop. It'll be tight, but I should be able to figure it out. It must be picked and delivered early. I'll have to leave the coffee meeting early. 

Now for a little reflection. 

I had a change of heart, decided to revisit a decision I made. 

Hear me out. It's going to feel like a justification and that's probably a little true. 

"That" friend who I had a falling out with is back in play. I decided to take the temperature down and I gifted her something I knew she'd like (very inexpensive, but totally her). It worked. Things felt more comfortable when we were together. I hated that level of tension. Our worlds overlap regularly and it wasn't fun. I also decided to quit poking her -- I was aggravating the situation with little jabs. 

Last week we bonded over that horrible phone bank experience and being treated like garbage. She suggested a couple's dinner tomorrow (like we used to do regularly). We haven't gone out with them since December of last year. 

I said yes. 

This will totally end the drama. 

We can all relax. 

It's not the same and never will be, but it doesn't have to be awful.

When she's happy, she's a delight. 

When she's hurt or insecure, she's a huge jerk. 

Is that someone I want to call a friend?!?

I've thought and thought about it. 

Her nastiness comes from insecurity. 

I don't want her as a true friend, but I want to be friendly. 

As I said, our worlds overlap regularly and this will calm the waters (for now, this time). I'll give it a try to see if we can start again. Nothing deep, just hanging out sometimes. This also helps the group dynamic too. There was a sort of split in that world because of our falling out. 

You know I'll keep you posted. Maybe you'll tell me "I told you so" at some point. That's totally fair. 

Friendship is a tough go at this stage of my life. I didn't see that issue happening in my 50s. I'm still trying to figure out how to hold tension and relationship. Can I fight with a friend? Can a person who I need to fight with be someone I want to be friends with? Every situation is different. It's taking a lot of hit and misses to figure this out. 

I need to be open to being wrong, changing my mind, taking time to figure it out. 

Was I wrong before ... no. We needed the fight. I needed to stand up. 

But I'm reconsidering what it looks like going forward. 

I don't think either of us like the tension. 

The little gift was my olive branch. 

The invitation was her olive branch.

That was the not-a-rant, but a reflection issue I mentioned a while ago. One of them. I'm not sure if or when I'll go into the other situation. It's another long explanation. Nothing earth shattering, but on my mind.

Have a good day!

Later gators. 

Sleep, Finally

Maybe not hiking was for the best. My ankle is a bit wonky (from that crazy portion of the hike on Saturday) and it's noticeably uncomfortable. Best give it some rest.

Looks like Thursday's hike will be with a friend -- that'll be nice to have company. I won't add extra mileage because it's close to the big hike. 

I ended up with a pleasant day. 

Peloton ride.

Long dog walk (squirts seemed to be over)

Garden donation (another 8 lbs of produce)

Walked to lunch with a friend.

Volunteer home visit for the evening (chatted with a friend on the long drive).

On the way back from lunch we swung by the library to pick up a book and my friend mentioned she hadn't voted (new to the state). Perfect. Go vote. And she did. I felt like that was a voter assist our group is trying to facilitate. Sort of a good deed to introduce her to our early voting system. 

I FINALLY slept last night. Almost 2 hours of REM and boy did I dream. Good deep sleep too. 

Today is full with meetings, appointments, chores. 

I'm forcing myself to go to the action group meeting. We took the summer off and I haven't been to a meeting since. I need to go. I don't want to go (it's from 7-10). I think I'll leave early. I hope I don't talk myself out of it. 

Also, I have a TEAMS meeting about gardening right before. They're on the same schedule -- that's a bummer. 

I saw some fun "Dear Diary" pictures, but I was with a friend and I didn't want to explain myself (I'm weird enough). Maybe I'll see them on the walk today. 

Off to get the day going. 

Have a good one!

Later gators.