The Race, A Change in Plans, A Windstorm,

The next two days are shifting ...

But, first, the car race. 

I enjoyed it -- much more than I expected. Marking our calendar to go again next year. It's not a spectator race, so we were part of the crew entrance. There was a weather hold and my BIL's car broke, but we hung out, watched other races once the storm passed. Met people. Festive group. Lots of laughs. No crowds. 

Couldn't get it to start.
Parts ordered, but not in time
for the races this weekend.

I packed a fancy picnic and it got knocked on the ground.

Goodbye, fancy picnic. 

So I ate chocolate for lunch.

It was an oddly ill-fated day that was still a lot of fun. 

We joked about a curse. 

Now the shift ...

It's a bit of a long story, but we were meeting the kids at a park this morning --  no football. Hubby had playoffs for pickleball and I have bookclub. Pickleball got canceled and now kids are over all day for football (from 11-7).

Of course, I LOVE getting to hang out with my grandson, but now I'm losing late morning, late afternoon and evening to truck playing. Don't get me wrong, it's fabulous ... but I scheduled that time for things I need to get finished ahead of our trip and a little quiet time for me. I'll be gone for a few hours at bookclub (while he naps, as it turns out). 

I wish we had stuck to the original plan. 

Park and breakfast was perfect ... fun for all and easy for me. 

My morning is now figuring out food for a day of football and squeezing in a couple of errands. 

Rush, rush, rush before bookclub. Dang. 

Monday changed too. A weather front is coming in with high winds and heavy gusts. The afternoon mountain hike is at a national park that hasn't had trail maintenance since the shutdown. There will be trees and large branches down and I'm not taking a chance. I never like dangerous. 

This opens up the afternoon so I guess I can shift some of today to tomorrow. 

Trying to keep my mind in a good place. When my schedule is this tight, I need everyone and everything to hold steady and be (do) what they say. I need to CONTROL the world and the world never listens.

It's got a lot of nerve. 

The weather is a bugger too.

FIRST FREEZE tonight.

Eeek, my garden. 

My outdoor pots.

My redneck garden cover of old sheets will struggle against the wind storm.

Can I go with the flow?

I have no choice.

Can I go with the flow with ease?

Probably not, but I'm trying. 

Have a good Sunday. I'm determined to -- because it's all good things. There's no excuse for anything less from me, given the suffering happening everywhere. I'm lucky and privileged. I know it and I need to remember it. It's never a chore to make time to help. 

I'll leave it at this before I get going on the suffering and those who do so much and those who do so little.

Later gators.

P.S. On a growth note, haven't complained once about bookclub. 6 scheduled. I think 3 will come. Doesn't phase me this month. Progress (at least this month).

Goldilocks

We had a really nice anniversary. 

Better than #32 when we forgot until the afternoon.

However, I'm dissecting the day ... looking for the goldilocks "just right."

We had parts of the day that were excellent. 

Stopped by a local coffee shop and picked up a mayoral sign for the runoff election. 

Then a drive inside the perimeter to volunteer for a few hours packing for a food market. Met a number of wonderful people doing really good work in the community. 

Cooler in a warehouse.
Very interesting to see
behind the scenes.

Home for a late, quick lunch at our local cafe. 

Met new neighbors renting the house across the street. Moving truck arrives on Monday. Relocated from out of state. We talked for quite a while. It'll be nice to have them on the street.

Took Duke on a long exploratory walk in the area. I found a Korean cafe that's on my list to try asap. You see everything differently when you walk.

Trip to Whole Foods for food for today. Doing a "fancy" little picnic spread to make it festive.

Excellent.

And busy.

Wouldn't change a thing.

Then dinner out with friends. This is where I needed to be more discerning. 

Should have planned another night.

Should have suggested different restaurant choices. (They ask us for options and then they pick.)

We had a good night, but we were tired and a night in would've been welcomed. And, why did I suggest the last restaurant (of course they picked that one)? Totally on me. I didn't want to go there. I didn't think they'd pick that one. What was I thinking?

I talked myself into continuing the yeses for the day and that's was a mistake. 

Not a horrible mistake. 

It was fun.

We walked on a beautiful evening. 

Shared tapas were good, but I couldn't eat many of the choices and had to share the ones I could eat. 

Late dinner, late night. 

The reason I'm rehashing the day is because I KNEW it should've been a pass, and I didn't listen to my body's reaction. I overrode it with my brain. My body said no -- I remember the feeling. The busy day needed a balance of a quiet evening. I'm on a stretch of a full calendar and space is even more important.

Coaching is teaching me to pay attention to the my body's reaction and trust it. My body knows me.

This is why the dissection this morning ... learning the nuances. Another day, the dinner would've been the strong yes of the day.

Busy/full can be "just right" if it's a busy/full that works for that moment. When the yeses and nos are the right ones, you can feel it.

Does that make any sense?

Another ramble of thoughts.

Well, off to the races (literally) to watch my BIL race his car today. It's a mini-family gathering and that'll be nice. 

Hope you have a good Saturday. Later gators. 

33 Years

{Still talking about my calendar hah!}

Lots and lots and lots of balls in the air. 

I'm editing here and there. 

And making some wrong calls. 

Adding things.

Adding some wrong things. 

Adding some good things. 

It's a learning curve for me. I'm trying to word this as FULL and not TOO MUCH. Words matter.

The problem is the things I added, expanded. 

Going to my BIL's car race tomorrow for the entire day. Found out we need to bring food. I don't have picnic, cooler food. We're bringing guests. Guess what I need to do in the little hour I have free this afternoon? 

Volunteering for a couple of hours this morning has turned into all day. Happy to help and it's not problem, just unexpected.

Things like this. 

But if I think of it as an intentional week that I built with things that matter to me -- I'm doing a fantastic job. This week is really my FS visualization in real life. Even typing this lifts me from overwhelm to excitement. 

More of this, please. 

Oh, happy anniversary to me and hubs. 33 years. 

Spending the day volunteering together. Tonight is dinner out with friends.

Good day.

Good people. 

Good life. 

I can't forget to think about THIS. 

I leave you with a bedtime picture from last night. Me and Duke -- cuddle bugs. We were both tired in a good way. Later gators.

Calendar Woes

Yep, a bit too much.

And, it's all good.

But, it's a lot.

Maybe my calendar is meant to be a cycle. Too much ... swing back ... too little ... swing again.

I don't know, but you're probably sick of hearing about it AND can probably predict exactly these complaints.

Sorry. Anyway ...

Yesterday was a very easy hike. The intention was a catch up with a friend and enjoying nature. Check and check.

Then to the new nail salon. Experience was good -- I'll add it to the list.

This came on the radio driving over.

What?!?

Timely.

"Stoned at the Nail Salon"

Today is a rushed day. The schedule is tight - circumstances that aren't all my doing.

I scheduled the calendar, but other things are slipping into the spaces between. 

For example:

My RX refill was delayed and I'm almost out (can't order ahead because of insurance). I'll be near the compounding pharmacy for a volunteer meeting, but I have a second meeting and a lunch too. Can I squeeze it in to avoid a 45 minute drive this afternoon?

Things like this. Lots of little details clogging up space too. Follow ups when I shouldn't need to follow up, etc. If these extras didn't pollute the schedule, no problem. 

On a more lively note, I started thinking about the end-of-year stuff. 

Specifically my phrase of the year. 

This year is The Little Blue House (reminder of my FS visualization).

I asked Chat ... explained my focus for 2026 and gave some words:

Connection

Goals

Colorful

Neighborly

Community.

Together we imagine more.

Imagine more, together.

Color outside the lines.

Dreams welcomed, glitter required.

Dream big. Bring glitter.

It's a start. It was fun to "chat" with Chat over it. I'll do it again. Gets the ideas flowing.

I need to get to a workout. Out the door early for traffic and the first meeting. Have a good day. Later gators.

Hope is Action

First morning in a LONG (too long) of a time, I'm happy to see the news. 

Fantastic turnout at the polls.  

People are speaking up.

Locally, mostly a win. Mayor race goes to a run-off and it'll be uphill. Third candidate out and where do those votes land ... on first glance, they go to the incumbent. But city council was a big win (except one seat) and GA state had 2 HUGE wins. 

Let this momentum carry us forward. 

Congratulations to NYC, CA, VA, NJ.

HOPE is ACTION. 

I don't believe the saying that hope is passive. I think hope moves us to continue forward. Without hope, there is no reason to take action. 

Every vote counted. Every LITTLE thing added up. 

I took Duke for a fast, easy hike. 7 miles and he had the best time. I'm glad I went (even with a very full bladder by the end).

Focused the entire way.
Ears back, legs flying.

Ended the day with dinner at a local restaurant -- it's only a soft open (didn't know). Excellent. Enjoyed the company and the meal tremendously. And it was a 4 minute walk from my house. Extra win.

Today I'm hiking with another friend. I've only been once and I want to get familiar with the trail. Marked well and loops so no concern about getting lost. We'll hike more slowly, pay attention to nature -- good person to do an exploratory hike. 

I made a pedicure appointment at a new place after the hike. It's been a long time since I've gotten one -- been doing my own. I need cuticles managed ... it's time. 

Our HVAC didn't pass inspection. A different breaker needed. Hubby is staying until this afternoon so it can get corrected. Part was overnighted. All this in a perfect world ... we'll see if it arrives in time.

I have a full calendar stretch coming up ... all my doing.

Too much??

Maybe. 

I'm practicing finding that balance. I did edit some things, but there's a lot going on.

Volunteering stepped up a lot.

Hiking is full steam -- best time of year and don't want to miss it.

Family time. 

Social time. 

The compromise is quiet space. I'll see if I can find it early in the morning (thanks, time change).

It ends with a trip to Hilton Head with the kids. 

Driving.

No schedule.

Slower pace. 

It'll be fun. First trip with our grandson. 

It's going to be important to manage the "after" when I need more space to restore again. I'm looking to an Asheville trip to decorate for Christmas. Perfect solo moment. Still a bit in the air though. 

Okay, best get moving. Have a good day. Later gators.

Little Makes a Difference

Good morning. 

I hiked a moderate hike yesterday afternoon and it was really nice. The mountain is at peak beauty -- leaves changing, but still enough on the trees for shade and it makes a pretty play with the sunlight. Bugs are gone, spiders are gone. Temperatures are crisp and cool.

It was so beautiful that I'm thinking about taking Duke this morning for the trails around the mountain. The caveat is no bathrooms because of the shutdown and between the drive and walk, it might be an uncomfortable bladder hold by the end. (The trails out our front door are too narrow to bring him in case we come up on another dog.)

I protected this morning from a schedule. Hubby is in Asheville for an overnight (he'll be home this afternoon). I wanted to go where the day took me. 

So many choices ...

... maybe too many.

Long walk in town with Duke.

Hike around the mountain with Duke.

Solo hike out the front door.

Stay in -- Peloton and rock painting.

Combo of any of the above.

It's early, so I'll let myself wake up enough to feel it out. 

BTW, I'm not going with the Tuesday hiking group because one of the ladies has COVID and is going anyway ("it's outside"). Nope, not good enough. Another in the group has a hurt hip and the pace is even slower. Also, nope. 

Lots going on with volunteering and some new things across my plate yesterday. LITTLE efforts make a difference and you won't convince me otherwise. 

(That person I spoke about yesterday, actually said to me last week nothing I'm doing makes a real difference, drop in the ocean, so she's not going to bother -- see, nice gal, huh.)

Very long story, but someone was tossing a brand new bike her teenager never rode. She asked if I wanted it before she threw it away. Yep. It's going to a refugee family (most can't afford a car).

LITTLE THING

She dropped off the bike to me.

I have a contact.

Facilitating getting the bike to the organization who will get it to this family. 

Networking.

Making a small effort.

This will be a BIG thing for this family. 

This WILL make a difference to this family. 

Bike out of a landfill.

Bike to a family in need of a neighborly hand.

Imagine if we did this more? Imagine if more of us did it? 

I'm working on both ends. Starting with myself. 

A few more things in the works.

I LOVE the time change. I've been up for a couple of hours and it's still early. Cozy and dark at night. 

Hope you're having a good week. Later gators.

"Therapy Session" -- You've Been Warned :)

I had a coming-to-Jesus revelation after meditation yesterday.

It's hard.

It's also sad.

It's not what I want.

But I know it's true.

It's a lesson on repeat that's sneaky. It disguises itself and I can't "see" it until it's played out ... until I'm filled with so much angst and heartbreak and self-doubt.

A little dramatic this morning, you ask?!?

Maybe. 

Here's the scoop:

I'm hitching my wagon to the wrong person again. There's a "friendship" that burned hard and fast. It seemed perfect on paper. She pursued me. Very fun honeymoon period. 

To my credit, I identified some issues from the start and thought I was being cautious enough. I thought I could manage it. Have my cake and eat it too. "She's like this, but not with me."

Nope.

It's wrong for me. She's wrong for me. Everything is SCREAMING this is so. And I'm over here trying to work it out. Putting energy, time, heart into making it be something it isn't. 

It was a tempting relationship. She introduced me to many people. She has a pull and a power. When she's using it for good, she's a delight. But it's not always for good.

The truth is I don't think she's a particularly nice person. I think she lies and exaggerates and talks behind people's backs. I think she's competitive to a fault. I think this hides insecurities. 

And, she's fun. She's up for doing a lot. When she's good, she's really good. When she's happy, she's generous and full of fun energy. She's smart and resourceful. I love spending time with this side. I wanted to be a bosom buddy, a bff. But the truth is, deep down, I knew from the start where this was headed and I ignored it because I didn't want it to be true.

I can't handle the dichotomy. This is a ME problem. The negative clouds her for me (probably because it hits so many trigger points). Conversations and interactions leave me feeling the ick lately.

Here's the good news ... I see it and am taking action. Even though it's sad and I don't want to give up this dream of our relationship (it's so perfect on paper).

I'm facing the truth (far earlier this time) that the friendship was NEVER what I wanted it to be. It was just a honeymoon illusion. We moved into the reality and it's not okay.

What to do?? 

I'm backing up. Going back to a cautious, casual relationship. Monitoring what I share, what I say, what I do. I can have fun with her. We can coexist in overlapping social groups. I can see her behavior and be understanding that she's probably hurting underneath it all. But I will have my quiet boundaries up. 

 

Remember when I said she pursued me? Tides turned (as they do in this kind of thing). Lately, I've been the one pursuing, trying to get us back to the "us" we were. The "us" that never really was. 

I won't go much further into the weeds on the specifics, but this is a playbook I run regularly. And, honestly, looking at it from another vantage point, I can't believe it took me this long. 

Maybe I'm FINALLY learning the lesson. I'm at least learning it earlier. 

These personalities are so tempting to me. The fun. The energy. The honeymoon time. It's so good.

(BTW, I'm not saying she's a bad person. It seems like I am when I read this back. She's a person that's not for me. The prickly parts come from hurt and insecurity. It's a coping mechanism. It makes her lash out and say things and do things that aren't kind. It's something that disproportionally bothers me because of MY issues.)

The truth is the people I want to know, that never give an ick, burn more slowly. Friendship takes more time. The fun factor is dimmer. The energy is quieter. The build is careful and cautious. 

I knew this decision was coming. Once I made it, it felt like the truth and my body literally relaxed and I let out a deep breath I'd been holding. It's a challenge to execute it, let go, not repeat my pattern.

Foreshadowing from yesterday. Could it be any more obvious hah?!? Messages everywhere. "You know what you want, what you need to do." Me with my fingers in my ears, not listening.

I executed some of this yesterday. Put my energy into people that I haven't been giving as much to lately. 

Asked a friend to dinner.

Asked a friend to hike.

Last week, I would've asked her to both instead. 

The regret that lingered in the past, when I FINALLY got it, FINALLY let go, was the time and energy I wasted that could've been given elsewhere. To people. To myself. 

I've rambled on and on. This is like a therapy session today. I know why this happens to me (spoiler alert: childhood) and I'm glad I'm breaking the pattern. I can't explain the relief it brings.

I can hold both. 

The disappointment.

The truth. 

Phew. Hope you're set for a good week. Thanks for listening. Later gators.