Extra Hour

I'm enjoying the extra hour this morning. 

Up at "normal" time, but it's an hour earlier. 

HS zoom call this morning. I love that we still stay connected. One of the silver linings from the pandemic. 

Kids over for football, Cobb salad, and cheesy bread :) 

Yesterday was a nice day, but some prickly relationship things snuck in.

Why, why, why is it not easier for me to navigate relationships. I stopped tolerating certain things, started allowed myself to hold space, have an opinion, have a choice ... and now there's "conflict" on a regular basis with some people. 

Not everyone.

Not even many.

But it feels VERY uncomfortable.

Tolerate it and be upset with myself.

Speak up and feel confronted by the response. 

Is this how life is? 

Is this how non-people-pleasers experience relationships?

Is this healthy?

Sometimes I can see why my action or response doesn't land well. It's not my usual. It pushes back on a dynamic that the other person likes. It creates a change. 

But often, it's such a little thing. And maybe the response back is also a little thing, but it lands too hard. 

This is what I'm working on. 

My response to their response. 

Why does it bother me so? 

Probably because I think it shouldn't warrant that response. I'm not asking for anything that they don't ask for too. I don't give snark back to them. This feels unfair and I've told myself I don't allow unfair anymore. 

Is this the evolution of becoming a non-people-pleaser?

Or is this my story about "unfair" that needs another perspective. 

I've gotten better at showing up as myself, but not good at handling unwelcome responses. 

How do I balance it?

I don't know. 

And I compromise a lot (what feels like a lot, at least). I want to please people, but I also want to please myself too.

Lord, it's so complicated and uncomfortable and exhausting. 

But enough of this ... no answer in sight. I'll get coached on it again (and probably again and again and again). 

I'll leave with a nice message. Later gators. 

November Wins

Let's see if things are working better on the blog ...

Yesterday's post was all about calendar management. 

Maybe you're glad it was lost lol.

Maybe it was a Halloween curse? 

Welcome to NOVEMBER.  

It's one of the best months of the year. 

Hmmmm ... this has me wondering how the months rank? 

I need to think about it ...

August (heat and kids are back to school in the south, summer garden dying off)

February (dull and limbo waiting for spring)

March (yellow pollen in south, but garden starts)

September (STILL summer in the south, but we want fall)

July (always hot and a long summer ahead)

June (only value is my birthday)

January (I like a fresh start after holidays)

May (can be way too much like summer temps but garden in full swing)

April (spring and yellow pollen ends, spring garden going and summer planted)

October (sometimes still too warm, but ends in fall)

December (holiday spirit)

November (not too warm, leaves, holiday spirit)

There you have it. Most of my ranking is based on weather haha. November DOES win (!!)

Life is better when the weather is lovely. It's just a fact.

Speaking of ... weather was amazing for a volunteer morning at the farm. I'd volunteer more, but it's backbreaking bending. My back hurt all day.

This guy surprised me ... Halloween is HIS day to creep around the peppers. 

Black cats are lucky
on Halloween.

The hike was easy and beautiful. My foot/ankle wasn't great, but no worse for the wear it seems. I hiked a couple of miles solo to test it out.

Favorite part of this hike.
Nature arch.

Hung a Halloween rock.
I usually don't leave them
in the woods but I did
yesterday. No one noticed it.

ZERO trick-or-treaters. Bummer. I don't expect any for years to come. Maybe when the street finishes construction ... IF kids move in ... 

Painting rocks. This is finished and a few more in the works. Listened to the new album while I painted it.

(I won't go all in to Christmas music YET ... too early and then I'm tired of it by December. I made that mistake a couple of years ago.)

My new glasses. I guess they're fine. Bigger lenses for easier progressives. Made on a 3-D printer -- that's kind of cool. They're so lightweight. 

Goodies from shopping with my aunt.

$5 Christmas album from Atlanta.
It's really good.

This will go in the bedroom
once I redecorate.
I absolutely love it.
It's painted on a tile.

Little Christmas decor.

Tree in a cute planter
for the front porch.

Local pottery on left.
Little mug on right. 
Both make me happy to use.

I have a slow, but full day ahead. Walking to the farmers market and library and coffee shop this morning. Putzing around town on a crisp, sunny, NOVEMBER morning. What's better?!?

Then food prep for tomorrow's football. I'm making a Cobb salad to use some greens from the garden. Cobb is easy, but a lot of steps. I'll probably make cheesy bread too. 

Hope you have a good Saturday and love November too. Later gators.

ERROR

The blog is erroring out today.

I wrote a long post and it didn't update. Lost it all.

I'll try again at some point.

Swing

I did too much. 

Morning was wonderful. 

Then I got in the kitchen and COOKED and COOKED.

All good food -- fresh, from whole ingredients. I say this because it took a long time (e.g. cut a head of cauliflower into bit sized pieces for roasting for a delicious dish). More stuffed peppers from the garden. Fresh salad from the garden. It took about 4 hours in total.

I was too ambitious. 

It was good.

Very FS day.

My back got tired.

But I pushed on.

Rock painted.

Made chai from the teahouse. Sadly, it's not the same. Something is off and a bit unpleasant. I'll inquire more next time I'm at the teahouse. I also couldn't get it hot enough. I don't know how they make it so well.

Not the same. A lot of work
to make a pot of tea. I tossed
most of it.

My back was tired and felt awful. My ankle was acting up. I got an upset stomach after the tea. Delayed me heading out, just in case I needed a bathroom again.

I was a mess, but headed out in the pouring rain to pickup my grandson. Four more hours of playing, carrying, etc. So much fun, but I was hurting and it's hard to take care of my old dog and a toddler by myself. Monti peed about 6 times in the house -- raining outside and I couldn't get him to go while I had a toddler in my arms too.

Winding down for the night.
Quiet, upstairs play.

Dogs forever begging.
Dinner was rice and beans.

We were both exhausted by the time the kids came to pick him up. He could hardly keep his eyes open -- we played trucks HARD lol!!  I went straight to bed -- he did too. The old and the young have a decent overlap on the Venn diagram. 

I'm not "great" this morning. My ankle is hurting (doesn't bode well for tomorrow's farm shift in the morning and a hike in the afternoon). My stomach is still off (but, in fairness, it hasn't been great for a few days, yesterday afternoon was the worst though). 

I got confident and a bit cocky. I can do it all ... spoiler alert, I canNOT do it all.

Does this mean I need to modify today? I'm not sure. Maybe I don't need to swing the pendulum too far the other direction. 

Do too much ... swing ... do too little.

I have a very nice day planned with my aunt. Checking out 2 local markets. Not a lot of driving and we'll grab a lunch after. My son asked if I wanted to pick up my grandson again today (much easier -- just go to his house and play for an hour). 

This is the question mark. I could come home and be at home all afternoon and evening. Rest, pjs, paint rocks, quiet time. Or ... babysit which will be a delight, but out late afternoon. Not home until evening. 

I told him I'd text later today. Game day decision based on how I feel ... mainly my stomach. He's coming over on Sunday so I have another full day of Granny-time coming up. 

It's possible that today will be enough rest and restore. I hope so. I'm leaning toward picking him up -- it's a joy that I can't describe. BUT ... it's work. There's a reason women don't have babies at 55. I'm glad I'm a young-ish Granny. (Ironically though, I feel ancient this morning.) 

I AM modifying a workout. I'm going to stretch and a little arms. My body hurts and it needs something different today.

I've rambled enough. My aunt is a very early person so best get moving for an early start today.

Hope you have a good day. Later gators.

L.O.V.E. Message

This is turning out to be a really nice week. 

Partial luck.

Partial intention.

I use a basket for misc stuff in the workout room. Grabbed my lifting gloves and found a message -- good omen for the day.

L.O.V.E.

Fixed breakfast and picked a pre-historic leaf from the garden to chop into tomato and eggs. A little friend came along (scooted him outside again).

Found this beauty growing up in a the hairdresser's parking lot. Sitting pretty in a sea of concrete and car pollution. Nature finds a way. 

Rock painted. Here's one that's almost ready. Everything else is in process.

Back says
SHOW YOUR COLORS.

I picked up new glasses and not sure I'm as in love with them as I was ... eeek. I'll wear them today and see what I think. My hair was slicked back yesterday from the keratin treatment so it was a different look. 

Dinner with the family was fun -- everyone was in a great mood. Playing trucks was the highlight. My grandson knows to look in my bag and he's adorable about it. I didn't love the restaurant -- won't go back on my own suggestion, but it was up the kids' alley. 

The hike is rained out today -- no surprise. All day rain again. (Thinking of Jamaica and the hurricane -- utterly awful.)

Last minute babysitting add-on for my grandson today. 4 hours of trucks, books, slide, cars, cuddles. This is one of the few things that I'd let infiltrate my day. I even turned down a library shift in lieu of having a home day to myself. 

The morning and early afternoon are all mine. Slow, quiet roll, and lots of good stuff. 

On that note, time to get the morning moving. Have a great day. Later gators.

Inspired Energy

I feel like I'm getting my GROOVE back. 

Hormone regulation? Maybe. I'm on a higher dose of a patch and a new vial of cream.

What's better?

Sleep

Recovery

Energy

"Mental" Energy

I have 2 kinds of energy issues. What you normally think of -- can't run faster, get winded hiking, etc. But there's another kind of energy issue that I hadn't noticed until hormones went wonky.

Let's call it mental energy or desire energy. 

Something that I enjoy -- yep, but let's punt it to next week. 

Afternoon free -- great, let's watch re-runs on TV instead of that fun thing. 

Interesting -- love it, but let's not actually do it, just think about it.

Nothing that takes a lot of physical energy, but it takes some other kind of energy. And I'm talking about things I LOVE to do. But it's things I don't HAVE to do. When that energy flops, my day flops. 

This is what's improving again. 

On that note ... progress on the Happy Rock Snake.

Pouring rain and I went to a rock quarry. CLIMBED a pile of river rocks after trudging through mud up to my shoe top ... luckily wearing my washable trainers. I was filthy and soaking wet. The London Fog long yellow rain jacket is only water resistant hah, but it wiped down nicely. 

They were helpful and walked me to the pile and held an umbrella while I chose the rocks. One bag $6. I only filled half a bag (too heavy) so she gave it to me half price. I have a feeling I might go back (on a nicer day) if I want to grow the rock snake. 

Tell me this doesn't already
look like a snake head?!?

Washed and drying.

WAY heavier than it looks.
Only $3

PICTURE THIS :

Rock painting ...

Air Supply the record player ...

in my pjs and a sweater ...

drinking kombucha ...

candle lit ...

house to myself ...

pouring rain out the window.

Come on (!!) Delightful.

All brought to you by this other kind of ENERGY.

It was slow, homebody, peaceful, relaxing, reflective, creative. Filled my tank afternoon. 

I need better way to describe it ... hold on ...

"Hello, ChatGPT I have a question."

Zeal

Zest

Life Spark

Playful drive

Joyful momentum

Inspired energy 

I like "inspired energy" since it feels energy adjacent and I've been calling it another kind of energy. Thanks, Chat.

Off to start the day. No rain, but overcast. Rain all day again tomorrow (probably canceling a hike). 

Hair appointment.

Picking up new eye glasses in mid-town.

HBD dinner for my DIL tonight. 

Hope you have an inspired energy day. (Prepare to hear this phrase a lot hah.) Later gators.

Rainy Monday

Rainy Monday ... pouring, all day rain. At the risk of sounding like an old lady, we need the rain desperately. As a gardener, I'm pleased. 

Can I tell you a little side note on the garden and the FS visualization?

The garden is a part of my FS visualizations. Growing, sharing, connecting. I've imagined being at the garden, talking to people. It wasn't possible at my last garden because it was tucked in the backyard where no one could see it. 

Several times a week, I'm puttering in this garden and someone walks by and talks to me about it. The missing piece of the visualization ... pretty cool. 

I've been playing around (thinking) about a couple of creative projects.

Enough thinking ... time to get doing.

These are part of my SEEING sense focus. 

First:

Christmas table favors. 

I figured out this year's craft and supplies are ordered. 

Snowmen Candy Bars.

Stay tuned. 

Next:

Happy Rock Snake.

It got washed away on the trail after big storms and I messaged the town. I have the go-ahead to start it again.

First up ... I need to paint the head and tail. I can't find big enough rocks -- tried nursery and hardware stores. I'll try a couple of landscaping companies too. I can also look at the river (not this week -- too much rain will cover the rock area). I only need a few rocks. The body of the snake will be regular sized rocks and I have a lot of those.

The plan ... paint the head and tail. Coerce friends to help me get the body going. Probably around 10-15 rocks will start it. I need to paint a sign too -- "help us grow our Happy Rock Snake." A little community project. 

Could be a flop.

Will be fun.

Could be a success. 

Painting rocks together is a GATHERING and I'll use Priya Parker's guidance. This project will check a lot of FS boxes.

And I'm back to rock painting again. I took a bit of a break ... just long enough to miss it. 

I love a working craft space.
It's like a moving meditation
when I'm painting.

Backs are painted too.

I don't want to hand paint the base of the big snake rocks so I bought some spray paint. Not sure if it'll work. Sampled some small rocks and drying overnight ... looks like an option. It might also be good for rocks that are hard to get base paint adherence. 

The green is okay for the snake,
but I wanted a brighter green.

Next, kinda:

I ordered curtains and a rod for a portiere. 

What's this fancy word, you say? (At least, I did ...  never heard of it before.)

It's a curtain over a door, often an entryway. We have no privacy from our front door and want an option to close it off when it's dark. For a number of reasons, a shade or frosting the glasses aren't options without issues. Trying this first. It's vintage and adds interest and fits my aesthetic right now. 

I saw it in an IG picture of a room and googled more about it.

I like that it's a little weird. 

Trying to change a lifetime of vanilla decorating. 

Stay tuned for pictures next week if it works.

Finally:

I'm fussing with the primary bedroom. Have some ideas to try out next week to start building it up to cozy and fun and playful and creative. 

It's really rather dull and uninspired right now.

Planets must be aligned ... I'm on a creative streak. 

That's all from this rainy Monday. Dogs are being groomed (bummer with the rain) and I have a few errands while they're getting finished. Then the day is mine ...

Have a good start to the week. Later gators.