Shuffle to Buffalo

All ready for the quick flight up north. 

50th anniversary party for my aunt and uncle.

Home Monday night. 

My ear is horrible this morning. Much worse than it's been. Ugh. Maybe the pressure changes on the flight will clear it?!? Just googled -- maybe, or maybe make it a lot worse. Hmmm. 

Random bit from yesterday.

My grandson is almost ready for a toddler bed and he's staying the weekend in a few weeks. Needed something in case he's outgrown his other option. The bed came in the mail. All vacuum packed into a very little box. 

Travel toddler bed.

Check out the picture of the grandparents reading a toddler book while the child sleeps on the floor. Hilarious. 

But the bed is fun and I think it'll work well.

Short and sweet today.

Condensed morning routine before we leave. 

Between garden and dog and neck stuff, it's a rushed morning.

Have a great holiday weekend. See you Tuesday. Later gators.

Shadows

Me hiking. It was unusual light -- a rare moment that the low sun came through a gap in the trees. The trail is totally shaded otherwise. The shadows were funny.

9.5 miles with decent elevation. Fast as I could muster. Felt good to hold the commitment and make the time.

PT changed some things up and moved me to next steps. I have an appointment at the end of the month that I can cancel if everything feels good. I'll start the "new" after this trip (per her suggestion). 

New includes scheduling pilates in October. I'm really excited to try this and have high hopes that this can help me strengthen without injury so I can get to a fitness level for a hiking trip (i.e. successive days of big hikes). I need to figure out the details and get something booked. 

My ear is still clogged and popping with some pain. I've never had this happen before. Pretty please don't let this become an ENT visit. It's not worse, but the medications don't seem to be doing much to relieve it. I'm concerned for the flight. 

Took care of a lot on my list yesterday, but today is still packed to the gills. There's a lot of last minute things before traveling. Good news is I have the whole day. 

I'm going to be a broken record right now. Next week is another "too much" week where I'm searching for time to fit MY things into the week. I had a huge volunteer add-on with a court report due and the information won't be available until Monday (I'm still traveling). The report is due on Tuesday and Tuesday is already filled with commitments. 

Honest to god, I MUST get better about space. September is already too much, so I'm focusing on October. It's very open and I want to keep it this way. I want time to build up hikes and rock paint and do a freezer cook-up and get to Asheville, etc. I have to make choices and I have to prioritize. These are the things that keep getting pushed, or cut back or canceled. I'm doing it to myself. 

Or I need to get more stamina to work into the evening to finish out my day. Maybe that's an option for September??

Okay, lucky for you, I have to get going and my rant-on-repeat is cut short. Hah! I know this is eye-rolling and everyone else can probably see the obvious solution that I can't. Feel free to bop me over the head with the answer. 

Anyway, thanks for hearing me out. 

Have a good day. Later gators.

Trip on the Horizon

Week is ticking away toward our trip. 

Why is it so much work to go away?

On that note, total NOPE to the hike on Thursday. Why did I even consider it? Geez. There's no time. 

On medications for my ear. Not improving yet. Fingers crossed for flying. 

Tuesday lunch was good. "That" person was pleasant and chatty. Maybe because I brought her a little gift -- it was quite perfect for her (cost $2) and I like doing that kind of thing. Smoothing the waters now since I have my boundaries well in place seems like the best thing to do. Being in the group here and there WITHOUT tension. We'll see if it lasts. 

Volunteer home visit was long and the traffic horrible, but I left early to avoid the worst of it and was able to run a couple of errands while I waited for the appointment time. I like when that happens.

I'm not in travel anxiety yet, but I am in the dread phase. 

There's the trip and there's the time before the trip. A four day weekend ends up being a lot more because of the days leading up to it. Still have regular life, but add trip prep to it. I'm over it before I even leave for the trip. 

This one will be LATE nights -- all three. I'll need recovery on the other end. 

Do I need to be like this? 

Am I really this inflexible? 

Or is it really a lot of work?

"Too much" is my forever complaint these days. I can't seem to simplify. I'm going to work on changing the perspective. It's always the same, so maybe I need a different approach, different story about it.

The garden needs prep before I leave. Setting up for someone to water pots, etc. 

My dog needs to go to a sitter which requires packing him, arrangements, etc.

Packing outfits for all the events -- from party to bonfire to outdoor to day trip.

Gift for the party -- buy, wrap.

Clean out the refrigerator. 

Prep the house -- mail, trash, etc. 

And, I still want to have my regular life. If I stop "the usual" anytime something is on the horizon, I'd rarely get to do the things I want to do with consistency. Goodness. Time seems extra condensed lately.

Okay, enough of that (for today, at least lol). 

I'm hiking this morning -- solo so early and fast.

PT in the afternoon -- curious about next steps.

Trip prep to finish out the day -- as much as I can muster. 

Have a good one. Later gators.

Tuesday Updates

Friend weekend in the books. It was more relaxing than I anticipated. Reconnecting with my longest friend after a number of disconnected years. We have a ways to go, but it was a good start to coming back together. I appreciate that she made the effort. It's been a long time since I felt she acted like a friend.

Looks like I'm on my way to an ear infection (how old am I??). We fly on Friday. Urgent care first thing today. My ear is clogged, pressure, popping, and starting to hurt. It doesn't seem like it's wax, but we'll see. Not what the morning needed, but I have no choice. Worse this morning. 

But solid support for holding space for the unexpected. I held some space this week so I shouldn't be too inconvenienced. Slow, so slowly, learning. 

I'm planting stage one of the fall garden today. Another must-be-in-the-morning thing. I prepped yesterday so it shouldn't take too long. First light so I can run to urgent care when it opens. 

Lunch with the Tuesday hiking group to celebrate a birthday. I'm dropping in this week to keep connected a bit. I have to be in that part of town for an errand and I can't see them again until the end of September (maybe not even then). Still figuring this out, but choosing to not give it much mental energy. When I'm interested, I'll go. Otherwise, not overthinking it. Can I NOT overthink?? Hah -- we'll see. 

Evening volunteer home visit with TONS of traffic. I'll go early to avoid the worst of it and hang out somewhere to kill time. It'll be a "late" evening out, but there's no avoiding it. 

That's the day in a nutshell.

I'm going to hike on Wednesday or Thursday. A hike popped up with the club for Thursday. It's a bit of a challenge, but I'm tempted. Is this EXACTLY the kind of thing I shouldn't add-on to the week?? We fly Friday morning and I have a lot to do. Pack, garden prep, dog prep. Can I switch that work to Wednesday instead?

This is a bit of my space issue. Leave space, fill space. But I have a qualifier hike looming that I'm not at all ready to hike. I need to challenge myself on some distance without heavy elevation. Hmmmm. Thinking it through. 

Teaching an old gal new tricks is tricky lol. I JUST gave myself kudos for not packing my calendar and, wham, want to add an all day hike for Thursday. 

Okay, on that note, I need to get to neck exercises and the garden. Time is ticking and urgent care is calling. Have a good day. Later gators. 

P.S. Read this book from the library. Loved it so much, I bought a copy for home. Invaluable information on non-violent protest.

Weekend in Progress ...

Friend weekend is going well. 

This friend likes downtime. I'm asserting myself for an early dinner time and a relatively early bedtime (late for me, early for her) and that's helping too.

We went to a local indie bookstore that sells new and used books. It's the place that sponsors most of the local author talks, but I've never been. Easily my favorite bookstore now. I got 4 current books, 6 button pins -- $32. Amazing prices and inventory. Plus the used books are well organized, cataloged, and in great shape (it was the goal of the store to have a "better" used book experience).

I need to get reading!!! Between library reads and this new stack, I'm in deep. Forgot a picture of the books. 

Today is a very chill day (after a first-thing run). 

Walking to coffee. 

Grabbing brunch or lunch.

Pedicures (she changed her mind on this).

Maybe a little shopping.

Dinner with our HS friend. 

It'll be a later night (that's why I'm running this morning instead of tomorrow), but should be a relaxing day. 

Short and sweet this morning. 

Have a good one. Later gators.

Hello

Good "late" morning.

I decided to force a slow-roll morning ahead of company this weekend. 

Had to do it by working my butt off yesterday to clear tasks for today, but I did it. 

I also decided a no-go on the Friday morning coffee meeting even though I'm out of town next week because it required an early workout to get ready in time.

All in the name of what-do-I-REALLY need today? 

This.

I needed no alarm. 

No rush to get to a workout (thank you, Peloton). 

No rush to get into the garden (did it yesterday).

No rush to get to a meeting.

Quiet time ahead of a social weekend.

Maybe a bit of a push to get my dog walked (which I'll do as soon as I finish here) because it's sunny, humid, and temps are climbing. Dang.

It came at a sacrifice. No hike today. No time with friends this morning. No favor for another friend. 

I'm working on managing my schedule differently. I realize I need more SPACE for the unexpected -- good and bad so these kind of things don't eat up quiet time or make the day too rushed. 

I've been scheduling for things I like -- hiking, gardening, etc. but that's not enough, not the only kind of space I need because that's the first thing to get sacrificed when life add-ons come up.

This means harder CHOICES. I'll have to say no to things I actually want to do in the name of SANITY lol. I'll also need to choose what to simplify. 

I like this.

And it brings up the idea of focus rather than scattered. 

Am I spread too thin? 

Something I'm overthinking hah. 

I don't want all my eggs in one basket, but I also want to enjoy my choices rather than half-assing things. 

I think there's a way. I think it involves having time to be present in what I'm doing. That's the experiment now. 

September has a lot on the calendar already, but I'm going to be VERY intentional about what else I add and how I add it. Easy only. Low effort only. Space for things that will inevitably come up.

We have the final outdoor concert for the summer in a few weeks. I'm not organizing any big night this time. Not pulling in a big group. I'm just going to enjoy the concert with some neighbors. Easy.

There's a 5K race that I did with bookclub last year (I've run it for a number of years). I sent out information on it when registration opened and heard nothing back. That's all I'm doing. I'm not organizing anything, reminding anyone. I'll see my friend there and that's all. Simple. 

Football opening Sunday with the family. BBQ takeout from the place up the street. I'm not cooking.

Simplifying things like this leaves space to give back to myself. Choices about where to put my effort and energy and time. 

Group activities are nice and focusing on community means a lot to me, but solo is also nice. I think I need to flip the time switch on solo vs group. Less group. More solo. When I organize group activities, I can focus fully and give them the attention and effort and desire they deserve without feeling resentful. 

Had I implemented this early, today didn't need to be a complete compromise. I could've had the week I intended. 

Let's see how it goes. 

BTW, summer of ease and unbothered is ending and that did NOT go well (as you know). But, I noticed and maybe learned a bit to make changes. 

I'll leave you with this from the neighborhood LFL. 

Have a good day and start to the weekend. 

I hope you have all the space and quiet you need. 

Later gators. 

Full of Myself?

I listened to something interesting yesterday.

Could it be confirmation bias? Yep. But it's still really interesting to me. 

Here it is in a nutshell ...

There are people who are especially good at recognizing patterns. Can be in multifaceted ways. Seeing through lines. In people. In situations. In decor. All sorts of areas. 

This person will recognize a behavior pattern in a person long before others do (or maybe never recognize). They will see the extent of the pattern and recognize the subtlety more vividly. Good and bad patterns. They can recognize the pattern even before they can describe the evidence of the pattern.

Can you guess why this resonated so strongly?

I feel like I'm sensitive or problematic about people. Get to know someone, and there's THAT problem. I see zebras and no one else seems to be bothered by it. Why does it bother me and not them? Why do they put up with that behavior from this person. Maybe because they DON'T actually see the pattern?!?

I also think I understand people well. I "see" them, understand their behavior. Understand they're hurting. Understand they feel insecure. Understand they need extra TLC. 

Many times I wonder if this is me being full of myself. Do I see them or am I just mirroring? Can I really know what people are thinking? 

But I do this because I see a pattern in their behavior (as I said, good and bad). It's predictable. I know that someone will react a certain way to a question or a situation. I test it. I prove it. 

And I notice if the pattern is interrupted and I look for a reason. This is why I think I'm good at noticing when a friend is hurting. Also good at noticing manipulation. 

Why do I like this idea so much? Because I beat myself up about seeing the "bad" patterns in people. Why do I have to be so sensitive? Can't I roll with it like others do? What's wrong with me? Why am I reacting so strongly? 

Could it be that I'm just able to see it more clearly? Like a person with a heightened sense of smell/taste who becomes a sommelier and can't tolerate less quality wine. I have heightened pattern recognition. 

This served me well as a nurse -- I know it did. I saw patterns before others did and made some interesting "saves" because of it. Once a doctor asked me how I could have possibly known and I said because it wasn't what I expected (the pattern) and I explored why. He said, but how did you expect it? It was a subtle pattern.

Friends will tell me how nice it is that I notice things about them. Or say, how did you know that?

Back to the "bad" patterns. I'm slowly learning to trust myself because I've never been wrong when I recognize manipulation. It might take time, but it's proven correct. 

A strong pattern recognition explains something about me and about others who don't seem to have it. I'm sure there are other things at play too, but this is an interesting lens. 

Do you think I'm full of myself?? Hah. Who knows, probably sometimes, but I think this has merit. 

That's all the chatter I have time for this morning. 

Hope you're having a good day. Later gators.