Iron and Overthinking

Today is that big, full day I said was building as the week went along. It's not so full that it's too much, it's full of activities that will put strain on my neck. 

Should I have changed this day up? Maybe, but I didn't. 

I did make some better choices for yesterday. I usually do an evening sign waving and I decided not to go to rest my neck. Good choice. 

I keep reminding myself it'll be a good day. Do the PT exercises, take Advil, ice, and I'll be okay. 

While I kept my plans for today, I am modifying things to help. New chair for the concert that's better for my posture. Dropping a car so I don't have to carry said very heavy chair home. Using a different hiking pack this morning. 

Anyway, the furniture came yesterday. I love the look, BUT had no idea that it's made of iron. Heavy as all get back. It feels like a fancy filing cabinet and every touch leaves a fingerprint. Good lord. I didn't even consider looking at the material -- it's always wood or a composite. IRON, Pottery Barn?!? Why??

I hate making a mistake like this -- geez. 

Organizing the closet over the next week or so. Have to work around things-that-bother-my-neck so it'll be a slow roll. I moved them back a little and I'll get a 3x5 rug to sit in front. There's also a strange hook on the back to secure them to a wall and it's preventing them from sitting flush. Maybe I can take off the hooks. They're short and sturdy -- not worried about them tipping over. 

I also made better decision for tomorrow. There's a hike that I pulled out because it's too much after today. I'm going to an author talk in the afternoon and that's all. If I feel well enough, I'll start closet organizing, but I want a slow-roll morning and ease on my neck. (Are you sick of hearing about my neck hah!!)

You know I overthink some things everything. Here's my overthink today. Bare with me as I try to explain.

I want to be someone who hosts. 

I want to gather friends in a fun way.

I want connection. 

Tonight is THAT. I'm Priya Parker-ing the evening. It's a curated group of ladies. It has a purpose and a specificity. 

But am I enjoying it? I don't know. Maybe because of other things going on (hello, neck)??

Here's me being petty. I asked people not to bring things and I'm having to insist too hard that they listen. Otherwise, we'll have WAY TOO much food and the cooking I'm doing will be wasted. I know women like to help, but please just come and enjoy the tomato-themed supper. Someone is bringing a dessert and she insisted. Okay. Pretty please no one else show up with food -- in the name of being helpful, it's actually rude.

Also, per PP event planning, I sent a text and told people to come prepared to defend Piano Man vs Rocket Man (it's the cover band tonight). Choose a side, pick a winner. Some fun tension. Everyone responded in the text -- "I like them both, could never decide." Come on ladies. Also, this was meant to be DISCUSSED, not a text response. 

I'm going to post in the Group Life discussion board after tonight. How do you host like a Group Lifer if guests don't know how to do it and don't LISTEN? I'll see if I can get a better discussion going at the table tonight. 

So I'm overthinking whether this is worth it if it's not actually working out. Is it fun? Can I make it fun? Does it get better with practice? Is there a better way? A simpler way? Is it actually working out, but I'm expecting something too perfect? Questions, no answers. 

Maybe some answers after tonight. I need to overthink about it. 

Best get going -- it's another rushed morning. Just waiting for it to get light to get started. 

Have a good day. Later gators.

Happy Tomatoes

How can finding tomatoes make me so happy?

Hormones, hyper-fixation on something?? I don't know, but it doesn't feel "normal." Nothing else has changed. 50-50 of good and not good, and, yet, I'm totally happy again.

Contemplation for another day. For now, me and lots of tomatoes have a full day ahead. 

The massage was fantastic and my body feels really good. The "wind" died down and no threat of a slip -- thank the lord. I booked another appointment for next month. She said, wow your neck is a mess, but your legs are really strong. Implying, my upper body is weak, which I know since I've barely lifted this past year. 

The neck issue might be a hidden blessing because it's changing my approach fitness (more balanced) and daily activities (form, posture). I'm excited to try pilates as a way to get stronger again. I hope this new path will take my fitness into a stage that will age well. First, I have to heal my neck.

P.S. My closed-eye balance is slowly improving too and my ankles don't hurt from doing it anymore. I have some significant weak areas that I didn't notice. 

I went to bed VERY early last night. I was suddenly super sleepy around 6 o'clock (probably massage related) and I decided not to fight it. 8 hours of great sleep. Up extra early because I had such good sleep. Could also be why my mood feels better. 

I got new running shoes -- another attempt to get things back in form. I'm going to take them for a short, easy run this morning to test them out. They feel different than my last pair with a higher profile. Lordy, I hope I don't trip because they're higher. Always a frustration with running and hiking shoes -- old style isn't available for long. I wonder if I should order a second pair when I find ones that work well.

Waiting on a furniture delivery today. The scheduling email came with the time range BLANK. Good lord. Had to call them AGAIN. Props to Pottery Barn though, they have issues, but the customer service line is easy and you immediately talk to a person. Fingers crossed on the actual delivery. 

Kitchen time today prepping for tomorrow. We're back to a simple-ish evening, but I'm gone most of the day tomorrow so working on it today. Five of us total and that's a good number. Hopefully, no last minute cancelations -- always a possibility with this group.

Have a good day. Feels like a Friday to me. Have to keep it straight. Later gators.

Tomatoes Doing Me Dirty

Prepare for a mood, sponsored by hormones and tomatoes. 

I followed up with the tomato order I sent last week. The stand was stocked on Monday with tomatoes (per notification on social media), but I had already ordered them for Wednesday. Now there aren't any available for Wednesday. "Nothing is ripe." Okay, but I guess you weren't going to tell me?? It's a 40 minute drive to get there. They take orders. I would've gone on Monday and taken those. 

Now I'm on the hunt for good slicing tomatoes since these are the star of my supper menu for Friday. 

It's a wrench in my plans because I don't have the time to drive all over, looking, etc. They need to be ripe enough too. It's like looking for avocados at the last minute -- you can get burned by only green ones available and not enough time to ripen. 

If I can't find what I'm looking for today, I have to pivot the menu for Friday and that's a bunch of work on short order. 

Hubby was right -- simple, easy backfired. I'm trying to be unbothered. This is about gathering ladies together for a fun night of chatting, music, friendship. It's not about a tomato. 

I wish I was this person. 

I try to be this person. 

I'm clearly not.

Little annoyances are popping up all over the place this week too. 

Energy matching energy. 

I'm waiting to hear about the furniture delivery tomorrow. I was supposed to get the time window on Monday, but didn't. I called and "it's coming, you'll have the window by Thursday morning at the latest." Isn't that a little late to know?? So everything is on hold for Thursday. 

All my complaining and today is just about finding tomatoes AND a massage. How is this a horrible day?? Of course, it really isn't, but you know the tomato drama, now let me tell you about the massage saga.

The massage ... she's local, recommended by my hairdresser's chiropractor. I made the first available appointment weeks ago because of the neck pain. I'm looking for a local massage option so I don't always need to go to Asheville. The fact that this is who a chiropractor uses feels like a solid recommendation and worth the drive. 

Here's the catch (warned you it was a mood). My neck isn't ready for a massage (per PT) so I need to exclude neck and upper back. This is the best part and the reason I booked an appointment. She's a one woman show who rents space, gets a babysitter for young children. Can't cancel. I guess it'll be an opportunity to see if she's an option going forward, but the timing isn't good. 

And, in TMI news, my stomach is upset from too much fiber yesterday and I'm a smelly, noisy, wind tunnel this morning. Lord, I hope this ends before the massage -- for both our sakes. It's so bad, I actually dreamt about it. You know when you have a full bladder and you dream about it until it wakes you up ... that was this hah. Can you imagine if I relax and let one rip during the massage?!!? Heaven help me. 

On that lovely image, I'll say goodbye. 

Have a good day. 

Maybe I'll be happily stocked with tomatoes and gas-free by the time I'm back tomorrow.

Later gators. 

Wiggle Room

I was firmly in problem-solving mode yesterday and got a number of worrisome things off my plate.

Spoiler alert -- it all worked out. 

But the same thing happened last night.

Woke up in a panic about EVERYTHING.

This MUST be hormones. Oura ring has been noting my overnight BP is not dropping as usual and that indicates "stress more than usual." Yep, for no reason too. 

Tackling today like I tackled yesterday. There are a number of things that I can't seem to get off my plate. People and businesses not responding. Do better, folks. And, also, not an actual big deal, but my mind is adding it up to a problem -- both are true. 

I'm trying to keep Friday's easy summer supper EASY, but, of course, it's not. At this moment I'm regretting my little idea (hubby guessed I would). But, in the name of an easy gathering, I'm standing strong in SIMPLE. Fingers crossed it all goes well. 

I NEED the tomatoes!!!!!! (One of the businesses not responding.) 

In other news, a very nice pharmacist helped me get my hormone patch (different kind). While I waited, I shopped at CVS. Hello, new body wash, new nail polish for my toes, new nail tools. Sometimes I forget shopping at a store can be fun.

Next shopping experience is for the canning items. I think a Walmart trip is in order. Not sure I can fit it in this week, but I'm going to try. I'd like to get ahead on my list a bit. I think that's where some of the anxiety is coming from -- down to the wire on things with no wiggle room. Wiggle room is the thing that relaxes me the most when I have a lot on my plate. 

On that note, I need to get moving. Have a good day. Later gators.

Hello, Monday and Worry

Hello, Monday. 

I enjoy a Monday.

I especially enjoy a solo Monday. 

That said, I'm in a bit of an anxiety mood. Woke up several times last night in panic about EVERYTHING and essentially, NOTHING. That feeling is lingering this morning, although it's starting to dissipate as I calm myself down.

Hormones?? Maybe. Probably. Hopefully. 

I have a couple of fussy (and I mean very, very small, not a big deal) things that are lingering on my to-do list. I feel stupid saying them, but they are giving me all the anxiety feels.

1. Returning a pricey hiking bag to REI because I took off the tags and have no receipt. It should be fine -- I'm a member and that looks like it's in policy, but I'm worried about it.

2. No response from the farm on the tomatoes I ordered for this week. My entire summer supper is tomato based and if I can't get tomatoes from them, where do I can farm fresh ones?? Do I need to change (and complicate) the menu for Friday?

3. The hormone patch is out of stock everywhere and I can't seem to figure it out. I have to go to the pharmacy in-person today because the automated system is shit. I still don't know if I'll get an answer. I've been working on this for 2 weeks now.

4. Peach jam canning is a bigger endeavor than I realized -- lots of supplies. Not a big deal, but something to add to my increasingly full schedule. 

Then a pile-up of things-to-do that suddenly feel like a lot. 

Also, every night add worry about the possible hiking trip next year. There are two HUGE hurdles before it's even a possibility and yet I worry all the time about whether I can travel un-pampered. Ridiculous, honestly I see it too.

Got a new pillow for neck support and it helped -- so that brought on the "how can I travel without it and hike all week" mind drama. 

I'm going to work on a few of these today and hopefully that'll ease the worry. 

How's the summer of unbothered an ease going, you ask?!?! Hah!

Yesterday was such a good day. Fun brunch with the kids. 

Chatted with the DILs and now we're going to Hamilton in September. I'm so excited. Also, WORRY because I purchased from a resale dealer. Everything should be fine and looks legit (big name dealer), but scams are so smart these days. So I unlocked a worry about the tickets for the next month. Geez. Three tickets were a lot of money. 

Planning an outdoor run today because they're paving my running route soon. Signs up, but no date, but I'm expecting it to start this week. I'm worried about running under all the trees since we're in spider season. See -- EVERYTHING about NOTHING. I want to go today and go at first light incase the paving starts. On a Monday, early, means no foot traffic to clear the webs for me. EEEEEEKKKKK!!!

Are you sick of hearing my thoughts today? Me too. 

Maybe after a productive day of problem solving, I can relax. 

Have a good Monday and start to the week. 

Do better than I'm doing! Later gators.

Decent Choices

Good decisions. Well done, me.

I'm glad I decided to not just HOPE for something that I have total control over hah!

I did the things.

Farmer's Market with Duke.

Gardened for a couple of hours.

Peloton ride. 

Then so many itty bitty chores that went by the wayside this week. Small -- like restocking my vitamins small, but they add up. I have a bit bigger things to do this week (and some pesky things), but I'm happy with the progress. 

From the garden yesterday. Butterflies everywhere. 

My neighbor and I exchanged goods again -- cucumbers and basil for chicken eggs. I enjoy this neighborly exchange. 

While I was gardening several people walked by and commented on the garden, the inclusion sign, and the rock snake. (The other rock snake at the park has been destroyed again, why??) Love neighbors with kindness. Also, glad I put the rock snake my friends painted on my property. 

This area feels like a community, a neighborhood and we're very lucky to be here.

I found a temporary place for the painting. It's not "hang" worthy, but I need to keep it around. My friend is proud of the paintings and will absolutely want to see mine again when she comes over. I enjoyed the class, but the painting is just okay -- I'd changed some things up if I painted it again.

Martha Beck talks about that with her paintings (she's a true artist). She'll paint the painting multiple times to get it right. She can't see the problem until it's on the canvas and then it's too late to correct, so she does it again.

The oddness of the picture
fits the oddness of the placement hah!

I watched the first episode of the new Ted Lasso. It's okay, not great. I hope it'll find its form as the season continues. 

Brunch with the family late morning. Long walk with Duke first. Then NOTHING again. The week starts off slowly and builds. Sort of a balance, but it won't feel like it as the week goes on. I need to use the quiet time for FS me.

I have no plans this afternoon and, once again, need to stave off the Snacking Sofa Slug desire. I won't begrudge myself TV time, but SSS is different. I know the difference -- as much as my mind likes to act all innocent when it's convincing me otherwise. Man, I wish the weather was cooler. Afternoons are indoor time right now and that's a bummer. The SSS is that much more noisy hah!

That's an issue for later though. I have a fun morning and early afternoon ahead. 

Hope you're having a good weekend. Later gators.

Cartoon Painting

Oh my gosh -- I was up until 11:30 last night. 

I feel jet lagged.

Or hungover. 

I'm going to be fighting the good fight today. It'll be VERY tempting to do nothing all afternoon and watch TV and SNACK. 

Hubby leaves in a couple of hours. I'm walking Duke and stopping at the Farmer's Market for tomatoes and peaches. Garden cleanup when I get home. Maybe (maybe not) a Peloton ride?!?! I slept in a little this morning so missed that window to workout before outside things. 

I'm too foggy to figure out a plan yet, but I really hope to report back tomorrow that I made a different choice. Maybe that choice will include a bonafide nap. Maybe a balance workout and meditation instead of a cardio workout (still no lifting per PT).

Anyway, the painting class was a lot of fun. I wouldn't call it Picasso, more a cartoon version with exaggerated everything (so my practice didn't help lol). The class painted together while watching the instructor paint too. Very well organized and attentive staff. You didn't need to practice since they walked you through the process step-by-step. The class was almost 3 hours long. Only critique -- the brushes were worn and hard to get detail work with clean lines. Maybe I had a bad batch.

What I'm SUPER happy about is this weekend is VERY open and MOSTLY solo. A few things this morning. Brunch with the family tomorrow and otherwise NOTHING. I need time to regroup and organize. It was a rushed week and my little home world feels like a mess. My mind feels like a jumble too. I have time to iron out all the things. 

My closet dressers are set for delivery next week. Yea to a closet reorg!!!!! It's probably a few day event because of my neck -- can't overdue the leaning over, looking down. Praise be -- I CANNOT wait to have it all setup. I want to think through and plan a general layout over the weekend.

My bed is calling me back in the worst way. Funny enough, I wasn't tired during the class, but it's hitting this morning. I'm such an old lady (and always have been). Today's plan SHOULD include an early night. That's the fear of a nap -- will it start me on a cycle of late nights?? Can I function well without one?? Don't want to zombie through the day.

And the irony, I'm too tired to figure it out lol. 

Hope you have a good one. Hope I make good choices. Lots of "hope" happening. See you tomorrow for the lowdown. Later gators.